


If You Dare, Come A Little Closer

by lovesnarf (snarfette)



Series: From The Moment We Touched [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of past prostitution, Sequel, mentions of past childhood sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-04-06 12:52:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 46,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19063087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarfette/pseuds/lovesnarf
Summary: Life is good. Aaron and Robert are happily living together. Aaron is working in a 'normal' job and, for the first time in his life, he's proud of how he makes his money. Robert's business is thriving, despite the collapsed deal that cost him a fortune but saved the shelter that means so much to Aaron.It seems like a lifetime since Robert picked up Aaron and took him home for the week. They're so happy together, so in love. So much has changed in the months that they've been together. They've changed: they're different people - that week changed them both so much.But, no matter how far they've come, the past can't be rewritten and, if Aaron and Robert can't find a way to deal with it, it will find a way to tear them apart.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...here's the sequel to ['From The Moment We Touched'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15941633/chapters/37173434). I've been pretty anxious about starting this so I hope someone out there enjoys it. I just felt that there was a lot more story left to tell after the end of the previous fic so I couldn't leave them alone. I would say you need to read that fic before this one, if you haven't already, as the backstory of how they got together won't make sense. 
> 
> Unlike when I posted for the Big Bang, this will be going up in chapters rather than one whole fic. This first chapter is fairly short just to set the scene of where we are up to in their lives.
> 
> Feedback means the world to me so please let me know what you thought. 
> 
> Title comes from Rihanna's 'Stay', because it suits them and this fic pretty well.

Aaron let himself into the apartment, kicked off his shoes, dropped his bag on the floor and leaned back against the door. Blowing out a long sigh, he closed his eyes for a moment as he allowed the door to take his weight. He was exhausted.

He’d spent several years working on the streets - his nights had been long, his job hardly something to enjoy, and he’d worked bloody hard for his money - but he honestly didn’t think he’d ever been as tired as he was at the moment.

A six hour shift stacking shelves at Asda should not have been enough to wear him out so much. But when he added his shifts at the supermarket to his volunteering at the shelter and his hours spent at college completing his mechanic course, he could understand why he felt ready to drop.

He was knackered. But he was happier than he could ever remember being. It was worth it.

Robert had been nagging him about not overdoing it. He’d seen how tired Aaron was, could hardly not have noticed when Aaron was literally falling asleep on him on the sofa at nine o’clock most nights, but he didn’t push the issue too hard. They’d already argued about Aaron’s various commitments and since then Robert had tried not to interfere too much. It was Aaron’s decision and Robert would support him.

When Robert had suggested that Aaron didn’t actually need to work at Asda because he could provide for both of them and didn’t Aaron already have enough on his plate, Aaron had tried to carefully tell him that, while that was very generous, he wanted to pay his own way as much as possible. Robert, being Robert, hadn’t been very good at accepting that and had been quite insistent that Aaron should just quit the supermarket job because he made more than enough money for the two of them to live more than comfortably on. Aaron had struggled to stay calm as Robert had gone on and on about it - his heart was in the right place after all, but he just didn’t get it.

Eventually Aaron had snapped, telling Robert that he didn’t want him paying for everything and that he’d always been independent and been able to look after himself before, so he didn’t need to be a ‘kept man’ now. But Robert still hadn’t backed down and had pushed the issue, telling Aaron he just wanted to look after him and didn’t want to see him wearing himself into the ground when he didn’t need to.

“I like having someone to look after,” Robert had told him and the soft look on his face had almost been enough to end Aaron’s frustration, but he hadn’t been able to let it go. He had to make Robert see that they couldn’t be in a relationship like that.

“I want us to be equals,” Aaron had said, “or as much as we can be. And if you want to pay for everything and let me live off your money…” he’d swallowed thickly, “well, you’re still treating me like a rent-boy.”

Robert’s mouth had hung open and he’d shaken his head in denial. But it had been enough to shut him up and end the argument.

He hadn’t suggested that Aaron quit his job again and he hadn’t offered to pay for everything either. In fact, when they went out, they split the bill, more often than not. And Aaron could see that it was causing Robert almost physical pain, but he bit down on his desire to flash the cash and he let Aaron pay his share, and Aaron loved him all the more for it. Something so simple showed just how far Robert had come and how he was trying his best to understand how Aaron felt.      

Pushing himself away from the door, Aaron tidied up his shoes and grabbed his work bag off the floor, not wanting Robert to come through the door and trip over it. He made his way into their bedroom and chucked his bag onto the chair in the corner. He glanced at the bed - the comfiest bed in the entire world, as he’d always thought of it from the first night he’d slept in it - and forced himself to keep moving instead of slumping down onto it and getting comfortable. He needed a shower and that might even help to wake him up a bit too.

Wandering into the en-suite, he started stripping off his clothes. He couldn’t help but smile at the toiletries on the counter and the shampoo bottles and shower gels next to one another in the shower cubicle. It _always_ made him smile. Not so long ago, he’d taken a half-empty bottle of Robert’s shower gel with him when he’d ran out of the other man’s life, supposedly for good. Apart from his memories and the ache in his heart, it had been one of the only things he’d been able to physically hold on to to remind that his time with Robert had been real. He never thought he’d have something like this - not the fancy, expensive stuff, that really didn’t matter, but the feeling of sharing something. Seeing his things alongside Robert’s, where it felt like they belonged, meant so much to him.

He’d moved into Robert’s apartment after a few months of them ‘seeing one another properly’. After they’d finally stopped being so stupid and stubborn and admitted how they really felt about one another, it had taken a while for them to decide what to do. The beginning of their relationship was unusual to say the least and Aaron had practically lived with Robert for a week before he’d ran away and left him. But they’d both decided that although they’d fallen quickly, they needed to slow things down a bit. Moving straight in with Robert at his apartment definitely wouldn’t be taking things slowly so, rather reluctantly, they’d agreed that Aaron would go back to stay at the flat with Tracy. He’d obviously given up his former line of work, but he knew he could stay at her flat while he found something else to do and live off the bit of money he’d managed to save up.

It had all been a bit of a daft charade really, seeing as Aaron had spent nearly every night at Robert’s apartment anyway. They’d started out with good intentions: hadn’t seen each other every day, Aaron hadn’t slept at the apartment, and they didn’t even have sex for the first week of their ‘official relationship’, but their resolve to take things slowly had crumbled fairly quickly and they hadn’t been able to stay away from one another for long. Eventually, Aaron seemed to have more stuff at Robert’s than he did at ‘home’ and Robert had plucked up the courage to ask him to move in properly after they’d been seeing one another for a few months. It wasn’t exactly slow, but it was the best that they could manage.  

And who needed slow when they were happy? Because they really were. Aaron had never felt so loved and so complete in his life. He felt like he was part of something and Robert was responsible for that.

Sometimes, when he was having a tough day or doubting himself (like he probably always would thanks to his past) he wondered if Robert was as happy as he was, but then he’d catch Robert staring at him with a soft look on his face, or wake up to find Robert snuggled into his side, or come home to a beautiful home-cooked meal because Robert had left work early so he could surprise him, and he just knew: he knew Robert loved him.

They bickered about stuff. Of course they did. And they’d had a couple of big rows too. The one about Aaron’s job had nearly become something big - a massive barrier between them - but they’d got through that because they’d listened to one another.   

They’d had another argument that had spiralled into something worse before either of them had even had chance to stop it. It was about Aaron’s father.

Robert had got it into his head that Gordon needed to face punishment for what he’d done to Aaron when he was a child. He’d suggested it to Aaron and told him all about the great solicitor he knew of who specialised in cases like his. He’d been so swept up in it all that he hadn’t even noticed Aaron’s paling face and wide eyes. It wasn’t until Aaron had yelled at him to stop that he’d even realised that he hadn’t actually asked Aaron whether he wanted to report his father.

Aaron had been upset by the whole conversation, but had managed to insist that he didn’t want to go to the police. He didn’t want a court case. And he never wanted to see Gordon again.

It had been hard for Robert to accept, but he had, promising that he wouldn’t bring up the idea of Aaron reporting what had happened again because it was Aaron’s choice.

And Aaron had thought that was end of it, until a few weeks later, Robert had mentioned Gordon getting what he deserved again, only that time he’d suggested that he paid someone to track him down and make him suffer. Aaron hadn’t been able to believe what he was hearing and the malicious look on Robert’s face when he’d told Aaron of his idea was one he never wanted to see again.

They’d had a blazing row that night: Aaron desperate to make Robert understand; Robert desperate to see Gordon face justice for hurting the person he loved.

Aaron had threatened to leave (not for good, but to give them both some time to cool down), but Robert had beaten him to it. He’d grabbed his coat and stormed out of the apartment before Aaron could take a step towards the door. Left alone, Aaron had sunk down onto the sofa and sobbed. He’d always feared that his past would find a way to tear them apart and it seemed like that was what was happening. He’d feared he’d never be free of Gordon’s hold over him.

It had only been an hour when Robert had come bursting through the apartment door, out of breath and looking around frantically before he’d realised that Aaron was sitting on the sofa, red eyed and sniffing. He’d rushed towards him and collapsed onto his knees in front of him.

“Thank God,” he’d declared. “I thought you might be gone. I panicked that you might walk out – please, don’t ever do that. Whatever I do, whatever I say or how much of an idiot you think I’ve been, please don’t leave me like that.” He’d babbled desperately as he’d looked up at Aaron’s face. “I’m sorry, Aaron. I’m so sorry. I understand why you don’t want to have all of that stuff dredged up and it was wrong of me to think I knew best. I shouldn’t have tried to take that decision away from you. Please…please don’t hate me for it. I just wanted to make things right for you. And I wanted to see him suffer for hurting you, but that wasn’t my decision to make – I get that. I promise you, I’ll never mention him again.”

Aaron had been a little overwhelmed by the out-pouring of emotion and the desperation on Robert’s face, but he’d managed to smile a tiny, watery smile. “I know why you wanted to do it,” he’d told him quietly. “But it wouldn’t change anything – not for me.”

“I know,” Robert had said with a nod. “But you can change your mind if you ever want to.”

Aaron had leant forward and stroked a hand through Robert’s hair. He’d purposefully avoided commenting on the fact that he could change his mind because as far as he was concerned, his mind was made up. “I wouldn’t just walk out and leave you, you know?” he’d said softly.

Robert had simply closed his eyes at the words and leant into Aaron’s touch, a sigh of relief falling from his lips.   

Things weren’t perfect, but who needed perfect when they had one another?

Aaron reached into the huge shower cubicle and turned it on. As he felt the water warming up immediately, he stepped straight in. It never failed to make him sigh in contentment that he didn’t have to wait for a ridiculous amount of time to get any heat flowing through the pipes like he used to when he lived with Tracy. Just one of the perks of living in the penthouse apartment, he thought to himself every time he stepped under the spray. He couldn’t actually believe how lucky he was – he still couldn’t wrap his mind around the twist of fate that had led to Robert picking him up that night. There were so many things that could have changed the course of their futures in that moment and as that first week together had progressed, but here he was. He knew he’d never take it for granted. He sometimes wondered if Robert was aware that if all the money and the glamour and the flashy lifestyle disappeared overnight, Aaron would stay with him regardless. He didn’t care about the money – they could live in a tiny, cramped, damp, shoebox of a flat, and Aaron would be happy as long as Robert was there. He hoped that Robert knew that – he was sure he did.

Closing his eyes, he allowed the pressure of the water to soothe him and carry some of the exhaustion of the day away. His body felt heavy, his limbs weary, and he wondered if it was possible to fall asleep standing up.

He was so lost in his own head that he didn’t even realise he had company until he felt strong arms wrap around him to pull him close against a solid body.

“Long day?” Robert murmured against his ear.

Aaron nodded once. “Long week,” he replied. “You’re home early.” He felt Robert shrug slightly behind him.

“Not that early. I felt like surprising you – knew you’d be knackered.”

Aaron was about to respond when his words turned into a groan as Robert’s mouth latched onto where his neck met his shoulder and he sucked on the skin, gradually making his way up Aaron’s neck to the space just below his ear. Fingers curled around Robert’s arm that was around his waist, Aaron pressed his head back against Robert’s shoulder. God, he wanted a shag, but he was so tired, he really didn’t think he had the energy, even for something that would be so worth the effort.

“Let me take care of you,” Robert breathed against his ear and before Aaron could agree that that sounded like a fantastic idea, the fingers of Robert’s other hand had danced their way down across his stomach and found themselves wrapped around his erection.

Aaron bit his lip as Robert’s hand dragged up the length of him and back down slowly. Despite the warmth of the water, he shuddered in Robert’s arms. The pace was slow at first and Aaron found himself wanting to push into Robert’s fist; his twitching muscles must have given him away as Robert picked up the speed and stroked him more quickly. He returned his lips to Aaron’s neck and sucked and nipped at his skin as Aaron thrust into his hand and gasped when Robert’s thumb teased at his slit.

Aaron could feel Robert’s own hard dick pressing against his backside as the man behind him rocked his hips in time with the movement of his hand and the combination of every sensation had Aaron’s orgasm building inside him. His eyes were squeezed closed as he tipped his head back further, reaching his hand up and behind him to wrap around the back of Robert’s head. Robert’s hand was moving on him rapidly, and then he felt like he was floating as his orgasm hit him and he felt his come splatter against his chest and stomach before it was immediately washed away by the water still beating down on him. He was gasping, his shaking legs felt like they might give way beneath him, but Robert still held him up and he leaned back against him for a long moment.

Eventually, he turned in Robert’s arms and pressed himself against his chest. He felt fingers trace across his back and a kiss to the top of his head.

“You get finished up in here – I’ll go and get something on for tea,” Robert said quietly.

Aaron pulled back and looked up at him. “Don’t you want me to return the favour?” He glanced down and then realised that Robert wasn’t hard anymore. For a moment he had a horrible feeling that he’d done something wrong.

Robert smiled a little bashfully at him and cleared his throat. “Seeing you like that really did it for me. And you were so spaced out, I don’t think you even noticed I’d sorted myself out.”

It was Aaron’s turn to blush. “Sorry,” he muttered, feeling guilty for being selfish.

Robert shook his head and laughed quietly. “You really have nothing to apologise for – I thoroughly enjoyed myself even though I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Apparently there’s no such thing as a selfless good deed,” Aaron told him with a cheeky smile.

Robert laughed and smacked him lightly on the arse before he pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and stepped out of the shower to grab a towel. Aaron watched through the steamy glass as Robert quickly towelled himself off and wandered through to their bedroom, completely naked and almost definitely aware of Aaron’s eyes on him.

Aaron smiled to himself and shook his head slightly. He couldn’t even remember whether he’d washed his hair before Robert had made his appearance, so he grabbed the shampoo off the shelf. ‘ _How is this my life?_ ’ he wondered as he stepped under the spray once more. 


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After yesterday’s news about Ryan leaving the show, I had a moment of despair. And then today I thought, I can’t change that and I’ll always love Robron so I’m just getting on with it. So here’s chapter 2. I hope this makes someone feel better and you enjoy it. 
> 
> I’ve ‘borrowed’ some well-known and well-loved Robron dialogue here because it was perfect for this part of the storyline, but I’ve altered things quite a bit. That doesn’t make sense I’m sure. You’ll see what I mean when you read it! 
> 
> Feedback would be lovely (please!).

“So, I’ve done a cheesecake for pudding,” Vic announced as she walked back into the dining room from the kitchen, wielding a large metal spoon. “I hope that’s okay, Aaron: I did check with Robert, and he said you liked it, but I never know with him whether he’s just telling me what he thinks I want to hear just to get rid of me.” 

She smiled at Robert as if to say, ‘And don’t even try to deny it: you’ve fobbed me off too many times over the years.’

Robert merely pretended to be disgruntled. “Did I, or did I not, ask you whether you liked cheesecake?” he directed at Aaron. 

Aaron nodded and smiled at Victoria. “As much as it’d be funny to see what punishment you inflicted on him if I pretended I didn’t like it, I can’t lie. And cheesecake will be great, thanks.”

Robert smiled between his sister and his boyfriend triumphantly. He settled back in his chair as he listened to Aaron and Adam continue with their conversation about the match from the previous evening. He wondered if this was true contentment: sitting at his sister’s house, having enjoyed a delicious home-cooked meal, with the man he loved beside him.

Dinner with Vic and Adam had become a fairly regular occurrence when everyone’s schedules allowed. Victoria had been beside herself with joy when Robert had informed her that he and Aaron had worked out their problems and were giving their relationship a proper go. She’d immediately invited them over for dinner so they could all start getting to know one another and Robert had put her off for as long as possible, knowing that the idea would cause Aaron no small amount of anxiety, before he’d finally had to accept and set a date. 

As expected, Aaron had been incredibly nervous about it. He knew it was daft, but he’d feared that Victoria would be able to tell he was an ex-rent-boy as soon as she started talking to him properly. The idea of being put on the spot and asked loads of personal questions had genuinely panicked him. But Robert had promised he wouldn’t leave him alone to be bombarded and also had a quiet word with his sister before the event to ensure that she kept her excitement at a suitable level and didn’t let her nosiness (‘it’s called being curious, Rob,’ she’d insisted) run away with her in case she frightened Aaron off. He’d only been half-joking about that. 

It had turned out that neither of them needed to worry. Victoria was on her ‘best behaviour’ and Aaron seemed to strike up an immediate connection with her husband, Adam. The first gathering was such a success that they’d organised another for a few weeks later, and then it had become just another part of their lives. Robert loved getting the chance to spend time with his little sister (something that he knew he’d allowed to fall down his list of priorities over the years and was keen to correct) and Aaron was genuinely happy to have a new mate. 

When Vic had got more ‘curious’ with her questions, they’d explained how they’d met at a bar and hit it off straight away. They’d already decided that they needed a cover-story before the inevitable questions, and that was as simple, yet believable, as it needed to be. Vic had believed it (because why wouldn’t it be the truth?) and had simply gushed about how lovely it was and how she’d never seen Robert looking so ‘loved-up’, causing him to groan in embarrassment at his sister’s words and blush when Aaron smiled at him cheekily. 

After their dessert, they sat around chatting for a bit and then Adam suddenly announced that he’d get started on the clearing up. 

Vic was eying her husband suspiciously. “What’s got into you? Usually I have to show you where the sink is to get you doing any form of clearing up.”

Aaron sat up in his chair and started grabbing plates. “Let me help,” he said immediately. 

“Ah, Aaron, you don’t need to do that,” Vic told him as she stood up. “He’s definitely a keeper,” she remarked to Robert as she nodded at Aaron. 

Robert laughed and shook his head a little. “Don’t let this fool you. The only reason they’re so keen to tidy up is so they can go and set up a game of Fifa.”

Aaron and Adam both looked at him guiltily and Robert laughed again. “I know you too well,” he said as he patted Aaron on the knee and smiled at him smugly. 

Aaron rolled his eyes and nudged Robert’s arm. “Can’t believe you dobbed me in,” he muttered. 

“You two are so cute,” Vic said. She had a couple of plates in her hand as she stood beside the table smiling at them fondly. “Dad would be so proud of you, Rob,” she added. 

The smile that had been on Robert’s face during their playful teasing fell immediately and he felt himself tense at the words. Vic didn’t notice his reaction as she turned towards the kitchen, but he could feel Aaron’s eyes on him. He couldn’t turn to face him: he needed a moment to just shake off the cold sensation that had rushed over him at his sister’s seemingly innocent words. Then he felt a hand gently fall onto his leg just above his knee and a squeeze of reassurance. Turning to Aaron, he offered him a smile: it was forced and Aaron would probably see right through it, but he didn’t want to ruin their evening and he certainly didn’t want to start trying to explain himself. 

“Let’s get this table cleared, shall we?” he said as he stood up. “Then you can have that game of Fifa.” 

He fixed the smile onto his face as he carried a few glasses through to the kitchen and Vic immediately started talking again, thankfully about a different topic. 

***

The rest of the evening had been pleasant. They’d moved into the living room so Aaron and Adam could have their game and Vic had kept up a seemingly constant stream of chatter. But Robert knew he’d been quieter than earlier on in the evening. Victoria asked him if he was alright, but he waved off her concern, telling her he was just tired after a long couple of days at work.

They’d said their ‘goodnights’ and headed back to the apartment, with Robert driving, but hardly saying a word. He didn’t want to make things awkward; he didn’t want Aaron to think something was wrong; he didn’t want to make a big deal out of something that was so irrelevant and unimportant: he just didn’t know what to say. Vic’s comment about their dad had unsettled him and he was almost afraid to think about the reasons why. In reality, he knew why: he just didn’t want to face it. He hadn’t thought about his father for quite some time - safer not to poke at that painful bruise - but every so often something would bring the man, and his feelings towards his son, crashing back into Robert’s head. 

When they got home, Aaron kissed him on the cheek and quietly told him he was going to get a shower. Robert had smiled weakly and nodded, telling him he’d be through in a bit so they could get to bed. 

He’d found himself standing at the floor to ceiling window in the living room of the apartment, staring out at the city lights. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, how long he’d been staring at nothing in particular, but suddenly there were strong arms wrapping around his waist and a warm body pressing against his back. 

“Robert?” Aaron murmured against his shoulder. 

“Sorry,” he said immediately. “Time for bed?”

Aaron pressed his nose against Robert’s shoulder and drew in a deep breath. “You’ve been standing here for ages. What’s wrong?”

Robert turned in his arms and looked at him. “Nothing,” he replied simply. “Just lost track of time.” He dropped a quick kiss to Aaron’s forehead before he stepped away from his embrace and moved towards the bedroom. 

“You can talk to me, you know?”

He heard Aaron’s quiet words and he stumbled over his own feet a little. Turning back to face him, he forced the same fake smile onto his face from earlier on in the evening. “I’m fine. There’s nothing to talk about.”

Aaron frowned at him and looked like he wanted to say something else, but he swallowed whatever it was back down and followed Robert towards their bedroom. 

Once they were in their room, Robert slipped his jacket off and hung it back in the wardrobe. He moved on autopilot, unaware of Aaron’s concerned gaze watching him. 

“You’ve been quiet tonight,” Aaron said softly from his position leaning back against the headboard on their bed. 

“Have I?” Robert asked as he briefly glanced over his shoulder at him. Turning back to the wardrobe, he started unbuttoning his shirt. 

“After Vic mentioned your dad,” Aaron added and then there was silence, like they were both aware that there was something foreboding about his words and they were waiting for something to happen.

Robert turned to him. He opened his mouth to respond but no words came out. Instead his shoulders slumped and he walked to the bed where he sat down on the edge, his back to Aaron. 

Neither of them spoke for what seemed like a long time.

“Robert?” Aaron asked quietly.

“He wouldn’t have been proud,” Robert announced suddenly. 

A beat of silence followed before Aaron replied. “What do you mean?”

“My dad,” Robert clarified. “He wouldn’t have been proud of me. All this.” He waved his hand around vaguely to demonstrate what he was referring to. “No matter how hard I’ve worked or what I’ve achieved. It wouldn’t have been good enough. Not for him. Because I’m still me - the disappointment.”

The bed dipped behind Robert as Aaron moved towards him immediately. He shuffled across it on his knees until he was sitting beside him, pressed together from shoulder to knee. The solidity of Aaron next to him was welcome: it felt a lot like a much-needed anchor in a storm that had been brewing for some time. 

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Aaron told him. “You’re amazing. You’ve been so successful and you have so much ahead of you.” He placed a hand on Robert’s knee as he spoke and Robert glanced down at it for a moment and sighed deeply.

Looking back up, Robert smiled weakly at him. “It wouldn’t be enough. And this...me being with you...being in a relationship with a man...he’d have hated that. He just...he didn’t want a son like me.”

Aaron drew in a sharp breath, but didn’t pull away. “He knew you weren’t straight? You came out to him?”

Robert huffed out a bitter laugh and shook his head. “Didn’t have a chance to - probably never would’ve. But, yeah, he knew. Made sure I knew what he thought about it too.”

He felt Aaron tense beside him, squeezing his knee. “What happened?”

“When I was fifteen, he caught me...with this lad that worked on the farm. We were in my room and my dad walked in...caught us...the look on his face was...well, I’ll never forget it. He sacked the lad and gave me a leathering - kept going on about how I’d been skiving but I knew what it was for. He never mentioned it again but he couldn’t look at me for weeks.” He sighed heavily and stared down at his hands where they were clasped between his legs. “Just another way that I was a disappointment to him.”

Neither of them moved or said anything for a long moment and then Aaron wrapped his arm around Robert’s shoulders. “You are not a disappointment, Robert. Whatever he might have thought - he was wrong. He didn’t know you...not like I do. He obviously couldn’t see how amazing you are.”

Robert’s head, still hanging low, shook slowly at Aaron’s words. How could he believe that? When his own father had all but chased him away from his family home? 

“Trust me when I say I know it’s hard not to believe something when you’ve been told it enough times, or seen that look in someone’s eyes over and over, but please listen to me...you’re not a disappointment. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. If you were all the things he made you believe you were, we wouldn’t be here now because you wouldn’t have made the effort and you wouldn’t have made me fall in love with you,” Aaron told him earnestly. 

Robert looked up at him slowly, still looking unsure, his chin wobbling a little with the force of the emotion he was trying to contain. For a moment, the expression on Aaron’s face told Robert that maybe he understood Robert’s desire to find Gordon so he could face punishment for what he’d done to his son: Aaron looked like he’d be willing to resurrect Robert’s father just to kill him again. 

“I love you,” Aaron said forcefully when their eyes finally settled on one another. The anger after hearing Robert’s words faded from Aaron’s face, but the passion was still there. “I love you,” he repeated, his hand coming up to cup Robert’s cheek, his thumb gently stroking over his cheekbone. 

Robert’s lips twitched upwards at the corners slightly. “I love you too.” He blew out another long breath, shuddering a little on the exhale. “I spent so long thinking that I had to live a life that would’ve been good enough for him. Thinking I had to make him proud, even after he died. But now...I just want to be...me.”

“And that’s more than enough,” Aaron told him immediately. 

Robert leant a little closer to Aaron, his lips parted as his eyes roamed over Aaron’s face. He couldn’t put into words how much he loved the man in front of him: he wouldn’t even know where to start. 

Aaron’s fingers threaded through his hair as he looked back at him, concern still lingering in his eyes. He took Robert’s hand with his other one. 

“Vic obviously doesn’t know...about what happened,” he said quietly. 

Immediately, Robert shook his head. “I’ve never told anyone. Vic...she had a different relationship with our dad. She has such good memories of him - I don’t want to ruin that for her.”

Sadness shone in Aaron’s eyes as he looked at Robert steadily. His fingers were still in Robert’s hair and he pulled him closer with his hand, pressing a soft kiss against his lips. When he pulled back, it was just far enough that he could look into Robert’s eyes. “You’re a good man,” he murmured. 

Robert closed his eyes and took a moment to let his racing thoughts calm. His mind had been in turmoil since Vic’s words earlier in the evening. It had been a long time since he’d allowed himself to think about his father and his opinions about him. He’d found, over the years, that it just wasn’t worth opening that can of worms, so he’d buried his hurt and insecurities and anger as far down as he could. 

It wasn’t that his father had been a monster, or that they’d never shared any good times, but their relationship had just grown more and more strained as time had gone on and the overriding memories had become negative. The good outweighed and tainted by the crushing weight of the disappointment that Robert had seen in his father’s eyes every time he’d looked at him. 

When he’d left the village where he’d grown up, because his dad had practically forced him to, he’d had no idea what he was going to do and no-one to help him. Admittedly his situation hadn’t been as dire as Aaron’s had been when he’d found himself alone and homeless, but he’d still been scared. But something had driven him on: something had forced him to keep going and not give up. The idea of proving his father wrong - of showing him, and everyone else that had ever doubted him, that he wasn’t a waste of space, and he could achieve the things he set his mind to - motivated him more than anything else. His first successful deal had been a moment of sheer elation and pride, but then he’d realised it wasn’t enough. If he wanted to prove everyone wrong, he needed to do more; he needed to make more money; he needed to have more.

Somewhere along the way, he’d become consumed with it all. His desire to be successful meant he didn’t care who he stepped on to get what he wanted. 

In the end, it hadn’t even mattered. Before he’d ever had chance to return home and shove his wealth and his newfound status in his father’s face, he’d heard that his dad had died. He hadn’t known how to feel about it, hadn’t really dealt with it properly, but he hadn’t let it stop him. 

He’d wanted to prove himself to his father: his death meant that wasn’t possible. But Robert was so focused on his work that it didn’t matter anymore. He still wanted to prove himself and every time he secured a deal or the money rolled into his bank account, he’d felt that swell of pride at his own success. Money had become his comfort. 

And he’d thought that was all he needed. After a while, it hadn’t even been about his dad anymore: it was just about money and power and getting what he wanted. 

Until Aaron. 

Robert gazed at Aaron for a long time. Aaron had changed his life and made him a better, less selfish, person. He’d never realised how much love he could feel for someone else. 

“I just...” he started, but trailed off. He didn’t quite know how to put his feelings into words. Usually he had all the right words for every situation, but he’d found more and more often when it came to Aaron that he didn’t quite know how to vocalise what was going on his head. He blew out a long shuddering breath. “I just want to be myself now - with you.”

Smiling softly at him, Aaron leant forward and closed the distance between them. Their lips met and Robert almost sighed into the gentle kiss. 

When Aaron pulled away, he lingered close in Robert’s space. “Come to bed,” he murmured. 

Robert nodded slowly, a tiny smile tugging at his lips. He finished pulling his clothes off and dropped them into the laundry basket, before sliding into bed and straight into Aaron’s arms. Closing his eyes, Robert felt some of the tension from earlier on in the evening fade. It felt strangely freeing to have spoken to Aaron about his dad. It wasn’t like all of his issues with his father were suddenly fixed - he doubted they ever would be - but it was a relief to have told someone and not been judged or blamed or told he was wrong to feel how he did. 

Aaron tugged him ever so slightly closer as though he could read what was going on in Robert’s head. “I love you,” he said quietly. 

Something loosened a little more in Robert’s chest at the words. Each time he heard them, he felt a little bit luckier. “I love you too,” he whispered.

***

“I’m not saying I want to give you the money, but I still think a loan would work,” Robert said. It wasn’t the first time he’d made the suggestion, but he knew what response he’d get. “You could get something much nicer and just pay me back when you’re ready.”

Aaron huffed out a frustrated sigh. “Robert...we’ve been through this. I don’t want a loan. I don’t want to owe you. I want to do this for myself. I’ve been saving up.”

Robert smiled and shook his head a little. He’d heard Aaron’s words before. They’d had the conversation as soon as Aaron had announced that he wanted to buy a car. 

Thinking with his wallet, Robert had immediately started planning a surprise for Aaron - a sporty hatchback with a hefty price tag was top of his shopping list - but one word from Aaron had stopped him in his tracks. 

Aaron had insisted that he didn’t want Robert buying him a car. He wanted to pay for it himself and he wouldn’t budge on the issue. Robert had tried to get around it by suggesting it bought it as a birthday/Christmas present, but the look on Aaron’s face had been enough to silence him on the subject. That was until Aaron had started showing him cars that he’d found on his phone, all for sale for under a grand, and Robert had been utterly appalled. That was when he’d come up with the loan idea and he’d done his best to persuade Aaron that it was the perfect solution. But Aaron wouldn’t be swayed: he was adamant that he was going to do this for himself. And he made it clear that if Robert tried to interfere and turned up with a flashy, brand new car for him, there would be trouble. Robert wasn’t entirely sure what kind of trouble but he didn’t want to take the risk, so had admitted defeat. 

He’d supposed that he should be pleased that Aaron had let him help him out and buy him some driving lessons. Having run away from home as a teenager, Aaron had never had any proper lessons and had chance to take his test. He knew the basics and found that he didn’t need that many lessons before he was able to take his test, but he’d needed that before he could even consider looking to buy himself a car. Robert had somehow managed to convince him to let him ‘treat him’ to the lessons, but that was where the paying for things had ended. 

“I know,” Robert replied. “But I don’t like the idea of you driving around in some old banger.”

“Everyone starts out with a banger,” Aaron told him. “And anyway, it’s not that bad.”

He looked back at the twelve year old, black Volkswagen Golf sitting before him and grinned. “This is the one,” he declared. 

Robert was torn between thinking how adorable Aaron looked with the excited smile on his face and how worried he was that the engine was going to fall out of the bottom of the car seeing as it had already done nearly two hundred thousand miles. He didn’t say that though: he wouldn’t ruin Aaron’s pleasure at choosing his first car and ultimately handing over his hard earned cash to pay for it. 

For an outsider looking in, it would probably seem a little daft to be so chuffed about something so naff. The car wasn’t exactly flashy and Robert had serious doubts about its life expectancy, but Aaron was proud of himself. He’d worked hard for the money and was finally able to put it towards something he wanted. He’d missed out on the opportunity to do something that so many teenagers across the country took for granted: he deserved the chance to enjoy it now. 

After Aaron had handed over the money, organised the paperwork and finally received the keys for the vehicle, Robert pulled him close and pressed a quick kiss to the side of his head as they stood looking at the car. It seemed funny to see it parked alongside Robert’s sparkling Audi, but it was going to become a common sight in the parking garage at the apartment. 

“Race you home,” Aaron teased, beaming smile on his face as he clutched his keys. 

“Boy racer,” Robert replied with a smirk as he nudged Aaron with his hip. He watched as Aaron climbed into his new car and started it up. “I’ll follow you,” he added before Aaron pulled the door shut. He wanted to follow Aaron just in case he broke down on the way back, but he didn’t say that out loud - he didn’t want to burst Aaron’s bubble. 

They made it back to the apartment without needing to call The AA and parked their cars in the underground car park beneath the building. The security team on the garage entrance had raised their eyebrows at Aaron driving the rather throaty sounding Golf inside, especially when Robert had driven in right behind him. The men nodded at both of them in recognition, despite the looks of mild confusion on their faces at the sight, and Robert wondered if they were going to be officially ‘bringing down the neighbourhood’ from now on, but he found that he didn’t care. Aaron was happy - he was proud of himself - so Robert didn’t care if any of the other wealthy residents turned their noses up. Maybe one day the Golf would become a classic like his Porsche. That was what he told himself as he clambered out of his Audi and stood watching Aaron smile at his new car. 

They’d hardly been upstairs for an hour when Aaron announced that he needed to go out again. Robert got the feeling it wasn’t that he needed to go out, rather that he wanted to take his car out for a spin. Sensing that Aaron might like to go and enjoy his newfound freedom on his own, Robert made an excuse about needing to make some calls for work. Aaron didn’t even question it as he pressed a kiss to Robert’s cheek before grabbing his keys and disappearing out of the door. 

He’d been gone for ages and Robert had been beginning to wonder if Aaron had enjoyed his new sense of independence so much that he’d just driven off into the sunset, when he’d heard the telltale sound of Aaron’s key scraping in the front door and he’d wandered in looking like the cat that got the cream. Robert’s heart had stuttered a little at the sight: he wasn’t sure whether it was from pleasure at seeing Aaron so happy or relief that his ridiculous musings, which had started to twist into actual concern, about Aaron driving away and never returning had been all for nothing. Maybe it was a combination of both. The idea of losing Aaron was too awful to contemplate any further, so he’d quickly pushed it aside and asked Aaron how the car was behaving. 

They’d spent the evening watching TV and eating the pasta that Robert had made from scratch (and Aaron ‘helped’ prepare) and then they’d headed off to their room.

Robert had had a quick shower and then flopped down onto the bed on top of the covers while Aaron disappeared into the en-suite for his own shower and by the time Aaron emerged, Robert was ready to fall asleep. He thought that maybe he’d been nodding off, face smushed into his pillow as he lay half on his front, when he heard the en-suite door open and Aaron wander out. 

He could hear Aaron pottering about somewhere in the room and then everything went quiet. Lifting his eyelid and tilting his head to look down the bed, he found Aaron standing there gazing at him with his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. Aaron’s eyes were slowly tracing the line of his body and Robert felt a shudder of want pass through him: he was definitely awake again now. 

Knowing exactly what he was doing, he slowly bent his right leg up further so his black boxers stretched tight around the curve of his arse cheek. He heard the little breath leave Aaron and smiled to himself. 

“You do this on purpose,” Aaron muttered, almost too quietly for Robert to hear and he wondered if Aaron was just thinking out loud. Either way, his smiled widened as he felt the end of the bed dip as Aaron clambered up behind him.

The hand loosely gripping his left ankle made him jump slightly and then goosebumps rose on his skin as Aaron’s fingers trailed up his calf and lightly danced across the delicate skin at the back of his knee. Aaron’s fingers continued their journey, tickling the hairs on the back of Robert’s thigh as they neared the hem of his boxers. He shuddered and could feel his dick thickening up where it was still pressed against the mattress as Aaron’s fingers traced the line of where his boxers met his thigh. Aaron’s other hand reached up and mirrored the action at the waistband of Robert’s underwear before his fingers slipped beneath and peeled the material down slowly, stretching it across Robert’s arse and down. Then Aaron leant over him, smoothing his hands across Robert’s cheeks before he lowered his face and nipped at the skin of Robert’s right arse cheek. 

It was half a laugh and half a hiss of pain at the sting from Aaron’s teeth that Robert let out, but he hummed as if to say ‘that’s more like it’ when Aaron’s tongue soothed the same patch of skin he’d just bitten. 

“That was for teasing me,” Aaron told him. 

Robert huffed out another laugh and craned his neck to peer over his shoulder at where Aaron was still focused on his bum. 

“I just needed to know for sure,” he said quietly. 

Aaron immediately lifted his head and locked eyes with Robert. His frown told Robert that he didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. 

Robert sighed heavily. “You can tell me the truth, you know. I can take it.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Do you love that car more than you love me?”

Aaron’s eyebrows rose and he looked less than impressed. Playfully, he slapped Robert’s arse cheek and shook his head. “You idiot - I was really worried then!” But he was smiling as he shook his head, so Robert knew he wasn’t too annoyed.

“I just needed to check that you still wanted me,” he laughed. He rolled onto his back, his boxers still awkwardly pulled halfway down, and tugged a grumbling Aaron closer so he was hovering over him. “I thought I’d got real competition!”

“Shut up!” Aaron said, but he was laughing. 

“You’re the one who wanted some alone time with it,” Robert replied. “You can’t blame me for being jealous.”

“You really are an idiot,” Aaron told him. He smiled fondly down at Robert, but then his face became more serious. “There’s only you,” he said quietly. 

Robert blinked up at him, taking a moment to allow the words to sink in so he could revel in them. He reached up a hand and stroked it through the hair at the side of Aaron’s head. “I love you, so much,” he said quietly. 

Aaron leant down and pressed his lips against Robert’s, sinking down a little so their chests were flush together. As he licked into Robert’s mouth, his fingertips traced his jawline and down to his neck. His hips thrust down and Robert’s own bucked up in response, both of them chasing the friction. 

Gasping for breath, Robert tore his mouth away, his lips parted as he blinked up at Aaron. 

“Show me there’s only me,” he murmured. “I want to feel you - I want you inside me.”

Aaron’s eyes darkened with lust as he gazed down at Robert. 

The first time Robert had asked Aaron to fuck him, Aaron had looked like he’d practically swallowed his own tongue. The shock and desire had been so vividly written across his face. 

He’d stumbled over asking Robert if he was sure and Robert had been a little concerned that he’d asked for something that Aaron didn’t want to give. But Aaron had quickly reassured him that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to - far from it - but rather that things had been rather one-sided in that department for pretty much Aaron’s whole experience so he’d just been shocked by the suggestion. Shocked but definitely up for it (in every possible way). 

They’d both got over that awkward few moments and both of them had been extremely glad they had. And since then they had both been more than willing to repeat the experience. 

Tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, Aaron nodded quickly. He reached over to the nightstand, yanking open the drawer so he could pull out what they’d be needing before he moved back to hover over Robert again. 

Blinking up at him, Robert couldn’t help but think that Aaron was the best thing he’d ever seen. Having Aaron there, looking down at him with so much heat - and so much love - in his eyes, was something Robert still hardly believed was real. He could hardly believe he’d got so lucky. 

After a long moment where neither of them moved, Aaron dipped towards him and kissed him again. His hand ran up Robert’s arm, across his shoulder and to his neck, where his thumb traced the line of his jaw as his fingers gently curled around the side of his neck. As Robert’s lips parted, Aaron licked into his mouth. 

The two of them couldn’t get enough. They pressed together desperately: hips rolling, hands exploring skin they knew so well, mouths only parting to gasp in pleasure. 

Aaron moved onto his side, still pressed close against Robert. His thigh slid between Robert’s, nudging his legs further apart. One hand stayed cupped around his neck as he continued to kiss Robert. Then his hand trailed down his chest as he moved his mouth to Robert’s neck and kissed the sensitive skin there knowing it would drive Robert crazy. 

Sometimes Robert had no idea how Aaron managed to be so good at transforming him into a completely turned on mess, and sometimes he wondered how he could catch him off guard so totally. Because without Robert realising it, Aaron had slicked up a finger and was teasing at his arse with it. Sucking in a surprised breath, he locked eyes with Aaron who seemed very pleased with himself as he raised an eyebrow and then pushed his finger against the ring of muscle with more intent. Robert shuffled a little, allowing his thighs to fall further apart, and he drew in another breath as Aaron’s finger breached him.

Aaron’s eyes raked over the length of Robert’s body until he focused on where his own hand was working fitted against his arse. Robert felt the heat of his gaze travel over him, almost like a physical flush warming him and making his skin prickle with desire. He groaned low as Aaron’s finger moved in and out of him, and then sighed as he felt the slight stretch of a second finger joining the first. 

Moments like this were so mind-blowing for Robert. He’d been alone for a long time, having random hook-ups, often with people he’d met that night, and not feeling anything. Sure, he’d got off, had a good time, but he’d never felt cared for or cherished in the way he did with Aaron. Their sex-life had been amazing from the first moment - the physical spark between them had always been there - but that had translated into something so much more, so much better. He’d never had someone look at him the way Aaron did - like he wanted to devour him, but at the same time worship him and love him and want to hold him after everything was done. Robert revelled in the feeling of it. The weight of Aaron’s gaze as he looked down at him, the care he took with him, the fact that he was just as turned on as Robert - it all made Robert feel complete in ways he never thought possible. 

His soft thoughts were derailed by Aaron’s fingers grazing against his prostate and then all he could think was ‘Aaron...yes...please’ as Aaron crooked his fingers again before he pulled them out and then pressed in again with three. 

The stretch of it was a perfect burn and Robert rocked his hips down to meet Aaron’s hand, groaning as Aaron yet again found that place within him. 

“Aaron,” he gasped, “Aaron...please. I’m ready. I need you.”

Aaron drew in his own breath at the words before he pulled his hand away and leant over to capture Robert’s lips in a searing kiss again. Then he manoeuvred himself between Robert’s legs and grabbed a pillow to shove beneath Robert’s lower back.

Leaning forwards over Robert, he shuffled closer and Robert immediately lifted his legs so he could bring them up around Aaron. He loved it like that: he wanted to be able to see Aaron and watch his face as he came apart. And he’d never admit it, but he wasn’t as flexible as he once had been, so bending his neck to steal a kiss when Aaron was behind him wasn’t as easy as he’d have liked and he couldn’t resist the temptation to kiss Aaron whenever they were shagging. 

With Robert’s legs around him, Aaron quickly took the lube in his hand, squeezing more out, and stroked his hand over his cock to coat it before he tossed it back onto the bed and gripped himself firmly. Moving forward, the tip of his dick pressed against Robert and, with a steadiness that Robert admired when he knew he’d be desperate to feel the overwhelmingly amazing heat and pressure, he pushed inside. The drag of it, the feeling of being filled, had Robert drawing in a breath and then holding it as Aaron settled inside him completely. Blowing it out slowly, he looked up at Aaron and their eyes met. 

“Alright?” Aaron whispered gruffly. 

Robert loved the sound of his voice like that: rough and clearly turned on and trying his best to hold back when he desperately wanted to just let go.

“Yeah,” Robert replied, his voice just as ragged. “More than.”

Aaron huffed out a tiny breath, a smile on his face. And then he moved, pulling almost all the way out before rocking his hips forward again slowly. 

They’d only just begun and Robert could already feel his toes curling. 

Aaron began to move in a steady rhythm, slowly at first - almost infuriatingly so, as Robert wanted nothing more than to feel Aaron deep inside him, but at the same time he wanted to draw the feeling out as long as possible. It was the ultimate win-win situation - they were going to get there either way, it just depended on how long they could last. The slow drag of Aaron’s dick had Robert groaning low in his chest as their skin started to glow with sweat, and his sounds seemed to spur Aaron on as he picked up a slightly faster rhythm. 

Leaning over Robert, Aaron ran his tongue across his jaw and then continued down to his neck where he pressed his lips to the soft, sweat-covered flesh of his throat, sucking on the skin and causing a shudder to rush through Robert. 

Slightly changing the angle of his movements caused a sudden gasp to fall from Robert’s lips: they were parted as he drew in deep breaths. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as Aaron continued to thrust into him at the same perfect angle he’d discovered. 

Aaron shifted his position a little and when Robert looked up at him, he found Aaron dragging his lower lip between his teeth, a tiny perfectly content smile curling his mouth, his eyes closed, and a look of total bliss on his face as he continued moving above him. It was almost like he couldn’t believe he was there with Robert and the look on his face sent Robert’s heart soaring. It was utter perfection. 

‘He’s so beautiful,’ he thought to himself and he reached up to hold the back of Aaron’s head gently.

“Aaron,” he murmured because he wanted to see his eyes.

And Aaron obliged. He opened his eyes and gazed down at Robert with such heat and passion in them. 

“God...Rob,” he breathed out and then bent his head to capture Robert’s lips in a needy kiss, his fingers threading into Robert’s hair. 

Reaching between them, Aaron wrapped his other hand around Robert’s cock, stroking it firmly, trying to match the movements of his hips as much as possible. He moved his lips back to Robert’s neck, like he couldn’t resist tasting the skin there and Robert cried out in pleasure at the sensation. He felt like he was going to explode. 

“There’s only you,” Aaron murmured against his sweaty neck. 

Something wild and powerful and desperate rushed through Robert and he cried out in ecstasy. 

“Aaron!” He couldn’t think of anything else, couldn’t formulate anything more than the name of the man he loved. “Aaron...Aaron,” he moaned as he shuddered and came apart. He threw his head back against his pillow and moaned and gasped as his orgasm ripped through him and Aaron kept moving his hand over him and thrusting his cock inside him. 

“Fuck,” Aaron ground out. “Fuck...you look...so good.” His hips snapped forward again, pulling another moan from Robert who was beginning to come down from his high but was still shuddering with the after-effects. 

With a few more, less-co-ordinated thrusts, Aaron cried out and came. He moved in and out of Robert as he chased the feeling of his orgasm, panting and moaning quietly as his whole body shook from it and then he collapsed against Robert, breathing heavily. 

Robert could feel Aaron’s heart thudding wildly against his own chest where they were pressed together and he huffed out a little laugh, almost giddy with the feeling of it. 

“Alright?” he asked as he raised a hand to stroke down Aaron’s sweat-covered back. 

“Dead,” Aaron replied gruffly. He made no attempt to move. 

Robert smiled to himself and rolled his eyes a little. “Guess I’ll leave you here then while I go for a shower. I’ll dispose of your body when I’ve not got jizz all over my chest.”

Aaron laughed at his words and wriggled until he was lying alongside Robert instead of on top of him. “Charming,” he muttered. When Robert turned his head to look at him, Aaron was smiling softly back at him, his face flushed and his hair a mess.

‘I love you, so much,’ Robert thought as he blinked at him. ‘I don’t know what I’d be without you.’

“You’re an idiot,” Aaron told him, obviously referring to his plan to shower first and then deal with his dead body. 

“Ah, but you chose to be with me, so what does that make you?” Robert asked with a grin on his face.

Aaron rolled his eyes and shook his head as best as he could against his pillow. “Definitely an idiot,” he replied. “But I can live with that, if you can.”

Robert leant up on his elbow and pressed a kiss to Aaron’s lips. “Gladly,” he said quietly as he pulled away and looked down at him. 

The soft smile on Aaron’s face was the perfect agreement. 


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t do too much fluff, so prepare for some drama/angst ahead...

“Honey, I’m home!” Robert called enthusiastically as he pushed the door closed behind him. 

Aaron rolled his eyes at the fact that he was so daft, but couldn’t complain too much. He loved the fact that Robert was always so pleased to come home to him. More often than not, Robert left his office before it closed if he knew Aaron would be at home. Not all that long ago, he’d been a self-confessed workaholic - obsessed with his work and driven by the need to seal a deal and make his next millions. He’d gone into work before anyone else and been the last to leave. Since finding Aaron, he’d been more than keen to delay his start in a morning and quite willing to close his laptop early and head home, leaving Jimmy or Leyla or someone else to finish up for the day, if Aaron’s shift had finished or he’d had a day off. 

‘Perks of being the boss,’ he’d say whenever Aaron wondered how he’d managed to get away again. And Aaron wasn’t complaining: the knowledge that Robert wanted to rush home to spend time with him just made him feel all the more loved. 

And it wasn’t like Robert’s business wasn’t doing well. It was obvious that he’d been a little concerned after he’d scrapped the deal with the Whites to turn the homeless shelter into a luxury apartment complex in favour of keeping it as a sanctuary for those who needed it the most. It had been a brave move - driven by the realisation, thanks to Aaron, that money wouldn’t make him happy - and in terms of money it had been incredibly costly. But it hadn’t just been about the money: the Whites were not impressed by Robert pulling out of the deal at almost the last minute and it had been obvious that they would try to ruin his reputation as a decent businessman within the circles they mixed in.

Robert had tried to pretend he wasn’t worried, but Aaron had watched him closely and knew there had been a few weeks of him quietly fretting about it before he’d started working on a new deal with a new client and his concerns had melted away. It would take more than the Whites to ruin him and the business he’d worked so hard to build. 

He certainly hadn’t lost his desire to succeed. He still came home buzzing when he’d secured a lucrative contract and he still put the work in to achieve his goals. He’d always be proud of his success and keen to do well, but it was different now. He wasn’t consumed by work and money and deals like he once had been: his life didn’t revolve around schmoozing clients and showing off his wealth. He had more important things in his world now. He had a life outside of work. A life that Aaron had helped create. 

Aaron had had a rare, much-needed day off and he wasn’t ashamed to admit he’d spent most of it in bed or on the sofa catching up with all the TV he hadn’t had chance to watch while he’d been so busy or too tired to focus on what was going on. 

That morning Robert had grumbled rather sulkily about having to go to work when Aaron was still snuggled up in bed. The irony was that he could have just called Jimmy and told him he wasn’t going in, but, despite his new resolve to be less work-centred, he still couldn’t let go and he certainly wasn’t going to leave Jimmy in charge for too long. When Aaron had sleepily reminded him of that, Robert had dragged himself out of their bed and got ready for his day. He’d pressed a soft kiss to Aaron’s forehead, gently combing his fingers through his hair, before he’d quietly walked out of their room. Aaron had barely been awake enough to mumble a ‘goodbye’. 

He’d taken advantage of the stars aligning and providing him with a day with no commitments - the first in quite a while. His day had been exactly what he’d needed: quiet, restful and slow. The only thing that would have improved it would be having Robert lazing around with him all day, but he supposed he’d have had less rest if Robert had been there. 

Despite his tiredness, Aaron loved working. 

He’d started volunteering at the homeless shelter almost as soon as he and Robert had started seeing one another again. At Aaron’s request, Robert had taken him down to the shelter to visit one afternoon, and Aaron had been blown away by what he’d seen. Not least because Robert was welcomed like a hero. The staff working there were all genuinely excited to see him and gushed to Aaron about how generous Robert was. Robert had actually looked rather embarrassed by all of the attention and fuss - which Aaron quietly found pretty adorable - and had excused himself to go and speak to some of the new counsellors that had been employed with his funding. 

Aaron had been in awe of how fast things had moved at the shelter, how many improvements had already been made, but then he’d reminded himself that he shouldn’t have been: when Robert set his mind to something to do with his money, he got results and quickly. 

Aaron had been so impressed, and felt like the shelter meant so much to him personally, that he’d offered some of his time to the place and he’d ended up dropping in a few times a week to serve up meals or talk to some of the people using the shelter or use his own experiences to help in any way he could. He couldn’t wave a magic wand for any of the people there. He couldn’t promise them that someone like Robert would come along and turn their world upside down in the best possible way. But he knew from his own time on the streets that sometimes just knowing someone out there cared or would listen to you or not look down their nose at you made all the difference. 

After he’d been volunteering, he’d realised that he could at least put that down on his application forms for jobs. It had taken a few months after he’d started living with Robert, but eventually he’d managed to get himself a job at Asda. Getting the phone call to tell him he’d got the job was a moment of sheer pride. And he knew to anyone else it would probably seem daft, but he was proud of himself. For the first time in his life, he was going to be earning money in a way that he could be proud of. 

It was hard to explain how he felt about his life before Robert. It would be too simple to say he felt ashamed of his time as a rent-boy. He had done what he’d needed to do to survive: he wasn’t proud of it, certainly didn’t want to broadcast it to the world, but it meant he was still alive. What other options had he had? 

But that was all in the past. He didn’t need to worry about where his next meal was going to come from, or whether he’d have a roof over his head that night, or if Tracy’s flat would get broken into again while they were out working. He was so lucky to have moved on from that life. 

So he wasn’t ashamed. But for the first time he was proud. 

He’d decided to keep up his voluntary work at the shelter. It meant a lot to him. Even when he came home shattered after a day at work and then a few hours in the evening at the shelter, he could still smile. His time at the shelter felt so meaningful, especially since he knew exactly how it felt to be in the shoes of some of the people there. Even though it was emotionally draining at times, and frustrating because not everyone wanted help, it was worthwhile. And he got to come home to Robert every night - something that he planned to never take advantage of. He didn’t think Robert knew how much he was loved: he didn’t think he’d ever be able to capture it in words. 

It was Robert who had handed him the pamphlet for a night course at the local college: a mechanic training programme. He’d not wanted to give Aaron too much to do, but he’d also not wanted him to miss out on an opportunity to develop his skills and maybe gain a career from it. 

Aaron had been so touched by Robert’s thoughtfulness (and had thanked him thoroughly that evening) and had immediately enquired about a place on the course. He’d been accepted and had added that to his already busy schedule. It had meant he’d had to drop some hours at the shelter, but he’d made sure he left time to get down there and help out. 

With dreams of one day opening his own garage, the hard work was worth it. 

Sometimes he worried that he and Robert wouldn’t find enough time for one another in amongst everything they were working on, but they were making it work. They’d always find a way to be there for one another. 

“Miss me?” Robert asked as he hung up his jacket. 

“Why? Have you been out?” Aaron replied with a cheeky smile and a shrug, before he walked over and pressed a quick peck to Robert’s lips. 

Robert grabbed his arm and pulled him close for a proper kiss. “And here was me planning to make you a nice meal,” he said as he leaned back and frowned at Aaron. “But I’ve come home to nothing but cheek.”

Aaron tapped his chest lightly with his fingers. He tilted his head to the side slightly as he looked up at him. “Shouldn’t I be cooking for you? You’ve been at work all day.”

Robert raised his eyebrow. “Think it’s probably safer if I cook, don’t you?”

“Rude,” Aaron replied, “but accurate, to be fair.”

“Cooking’s not your strength - unless it’s toast - nobody’s perfect,” Robert told him as he nodded once before slipping out of Aaron’s arms and heading towards the kitchen. Aaron couldn’t help but stare at his bum as he went - he was wearing a pair of tailored trousers that hugged his arse in the best possible way, and Aaron always liked to admire the view when Robert was dressed in his expensive clothes: there were many advantages to having a lot of money, he’d decided. Biting his lower lip, he followed Robert into the kitchen. 

Robert had been in charge of preparing their meal, but Aaron had helped - he’d insisted that was what he was doing when he kept pressing himself against Robert or licking his lips or humming with pleasure when Robert asked him to sample the sauce - and they’d spent the time catching up on their days: Robert’s, as busy as always; Aaron’s, less so.

After they’d eaten, Aaron carried the plates back to the kitchen and started loading the dishwasher. He was already looking forward to getting into bed, despite the fact that he’d spent all day lazing around - half of it in bed - but this time he wouldn’t be alone and that made it appealing in an entirely different way.

He straightened up from his task, shutting the door of the dishwasher and then jumped a little at the feeling of arms wrapping around him and a solid body pressing up against him. 

Leaning back, he sighed as Robert pressed his lips to his neck. A shudder rippled through him: he loved having his neck kissed and Robert knew as much. 

“So,” Robert murmured, his warm breath tickling the patch of skin he’d just had his mouth on. His arms were still wrapped around Aaron’s waist. “I have this event that I need to attend...and I’d really like my boyfriend there to support me.”

Immediately stiffening, Aaron turned in his arms to face him. “You git,” he said with a frown, hoping Robert would see how unimpressed he was. “Was cooking tea all part of your evil scheme to get me to agree?”

Robert pouted at him and tried his best to look innocent. “I am hurt that you would suggest that it was some sort of bribery. Deeply hurt.”

“Rob,” Aaron said as he arched his eyebrows. 

Robert smiled hopefully at him. “You see, it’s an important event - lots of local businessmen and women will be there, as well as plenty from around the country. It’s always good to mingle, make new connections. And the bloke I’m hoping to get signing on the dotted line on a massive contract will be there and it’s a perfect opportunity to work on him away from the office, somewhere more relaxed so he’s not so stuffy and I can win him over to agreeing on a few more points.”

Aaron still wasn’t convinced. “So you’ll be really busy and you don’t need me there. I’ll just be in the way.”

Robert shook his head. “No, you see, I need you there because you’re in my corner. You make me look good and you’re so good at reading people. Plus, when I’m bored of chatting business, I love having you right there to distract me.”

Robert ran his hands up Aaron’s arms and rested them on his shoulders. 

Aaron frowned. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go or that he didn’t want to support Robert: he loved knowing that Robert wanted him at his side, and that he could do anything he could to help him. And the events he’d been to with Robert weren’t even that bad: good food, good beer and, surprisingly enough, good conversation (sometimes). But he still worried that he was out of place at them, or that someone would ask him a question about business and he’d make a fool of himself or embarrass Robert in some way. Ultimately, he knew Robert would never force him to attend: if he was adamant that he didn’t want to go, Robert would back down, no questions asked. But it seemed they both enjoyed the game they played when Robert had to ‘persuade’ him to join him. 

“We went to one last week,” he offered as his next excuse. 

Robert chuckled at his words. “It was last month,” he reminded him. 

He leant closer to Aaron, pressing himself against him, dropping his hands to grip Aaron’s hips, and then ducked his head to kiss Aaron’s neck. Aaron tried to hold in the groan that wanted to fall from his lips. Pulling back slightly, Robert continued speaking quietly. “In fact it was about six weeks ago if I remember correctly.” As he spoke, he trailed his hand down Aaron’s chest, across his stomach and to the front of his jogging bottoms. Then he palmed at his dick through the material causing Aaron’s hips to involuntarily buck forwards. He cursed his own traitorous cock for giving him away so easily. 

“And anyway, there’s a charity auction during the event,” Robert murmured as he slipped his hand inside the waistband of Aaron’s trousers and wrapped his fingers around his erection. 

Aaron merely moaned in response. He’d closed his eyes as the pleasure of Robert’s hand on his dick and his lips against his neck had him releasing needy little sighs. If only Robert would stop talking and keep his lips where he wanted them, or better yet, put them to use elsewhere. 

“I know how much you like seeing me donating money to good causes,” Robert said quietly, breathing against his ear and making Aaron shudder. “And I always enjoy the rewards of my good deeds.” He dragged his fist up Aaron’s cock, flicking his thumb over the slit and causing Aaron to gasp and grip Robert’s shoulders tightly.

There was really no way that Aaron was going to be able to say no to Robert. He would have agreed to join him anyway because he knew how important it was to his boyfriend, but the bonus of being ‘thanked’ for his agreement definitely made it even more worthwhile. Robert’s hand moving on him and his mouth doing wonderful things had Aaron’s acceptance spilling from his lips easily.

“Yes,” he moaned as Robert kissed his neck again, sucking at the sensitive skin. “Yes, I’ll go.”

He could feel the smile on Robert’s face where his lips were still pressed to his throat. 

“God, I love you,” Robert whispered against his neck. 

And then he sunk down to his knees in front of Aaron and peeled his jogging bottoms down. 

Aaron blinked down at him, a blissed out little smile on his face. ‘Definitely worth it,’ he thought to himself. 

***

Aaron wandered out of their bedroom, smoothing down the front of his suit jacket as he went. 

“Do you like it?” Robert asked as he turned away from the window to look at him. 

“Do _you_ like it is probably the more pressing question,” Aaron replied as he held out his arms a little for Robert to look him over. 

Walking over to him, Robert ran his hand down the front of the jacket. “You know what it does to me when you wear a suit,” he said, his voice lower than usual. His eyes roamed Aaron from head to toe. “Especially one as well fitting as this.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “I still can’t believe you got Leyla to organise another new suit for me. I have more suits in my wardrobe than I’ll ever need.”

“She loves it,” Robert replied easily.

“Yeah, maybe too much. Don’t you think it’s a bit weird that your P.A. uses me as her personal Ken doll?”

Robert laughed as he turned to grab his phone from the dining table. “Leyla takes her work very seriously: she knows I’m a man with discerning taste. And anyway she likes putting you in the suits and I like taking you out of them - everyone’s a winner.”

Aaron shook his head and rolled his eyes again. “And what exactly am I getting out of this situation?”

Robert closed the distance between them and wrapped an arm around his waist. Leaning close to Aaron’s ear he murmured, “Wait ‘til we get home and you’ll see.”

Aaron couldn’t help the shudder that passed through him at the words and Robert’s warm breath against his ear. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” he remarked, trying to pretend he wasn’t turned on by the mere suggestion of what was to come.

“I’m counting on it,” Robert said with a laugh. “Oh and before you ask, I’ve sent a cheque to Battersea Dogs for you. I know you go all mushy every time you see that advert on the TV.”

An almost shy smile appeared on Aaron’s face at the words: Robert knew him so well. “Thank you,” he replied quietly, before he took Robert’s offered hand and was led out of the apartment. 

While Aaron enjoyed the fact that Robert loved seeing him all dressed up, after the first few suits had been purchased, he’d started to feel bad about all the money he was spending. Of course, Robert had insisted that it didn’t matter, but it hadn’t seemed right to Aaron. Why should he be bought new suits costing hundreds of pounds when there were good causes out there in desperate need of help? They’d almost argued about it, but before it could escalate, Aaron had made a simple suggestion. If Robert insisted on paying for him to have fancy new clothes for the events they attended, he had to make an equal-sized payment to charity every time. Robert had agreed easily and, ever since, he’d stuck to their arrangement. Sometimes he asked Aaron which charity he’d like to donate to, other times he chose something he thought Aaron would appreciate. The fact that he always selected charities that Aaron would have chosen himself was just another thing that blew Aaron’s mind. He couldn’t believe he’d got so lucky as to find someone who knew him so well. 

***

They’d been at the event for a couple of hours. It was the usual type of thing: Robert charmed his way around the room, Aaron close by his side. He always introduced Aaron with such pride and such a soft smile on his face that Aaron felt genuinely touched. Some of the people were obviously old clients of Robert’s and they seemed so pleased to see him with a partner. It just reminded Aaron about how lonely Robert had once been: how different his life had been before they met. 

The conversation was mostly about business, but some people knew about Robert’s generous payment to the homeless shelter and seemed genuinely interested in the work being done there.That was when Aaron definitely got involved in the conversations: he was so passionate about it and he was always keen to encourage more support in any way he could. If some wealthy couple decided to send some money to the shelter because of what Aaron told them about all the amazing work going on, then that was a welcome bonus. 

It was clear that Robert was in businessman mode but at no point did he make Aaron feel like a spare part. He tried to involve Aaron in conversations as much as possible and sometimes they slipped away to the bar for a moment alone. 

The first few times they’d attended any of the posh events, Aaron had felt nervous. Actually, the first times had been when Aaron was working for Robert so that had been different, although he’d still felt completely out of his depth until Robert had reassured him. And then they’d got together seriously and Robert had invited him along, and Aaron had still been concerned that he’d do something wrong or show Robert up or have someone look at him and just know about his past somehow. 

But none of those things had ever happened and, while Aaron would never be completely at home in those situations, he didn’t feel out of place anymore. He felt like any of the other partners or spouses that were brought along for support. And he knew for a fact that some of the other people there weren’t all that interested in business: he could tell by their faces.

It didn’t matter to Aaron. He wanted Robert to be happy and he wanted to support him if he could. Giving up a couple of hours to spend doing this wasn’t too much of a hardship. And Robert always found a way to make it worth his while so he couldn’t complain. In fact he was already looking forward to getting home so Robert could show him just how grateful he was.

As the evening wore on, Aaron excused himself from Robert, leaving him chatting away with some old client, and made his way out of the ballroom they were in and down the corridor to the toilets. 

As he stood washing his hands, the door opened and another man walked into the toilets. Aaron only glanced up at him briefly before he moved to dry his hands. He was about to walk out of the door when the man spoke. 

“It’s Simon, isn’t it?” he asked. 

Aaron was sure his heart skipped a beat at the words - because it had been a long time since anyone had called him that name - but he just turned his head slowly and tried to stay calm. He looked at the other man properly and a feeling of dread rushed over him. The man wasn’t entirely unattractive: older, his dark hair peppered more grey than brown; sharp blue eyes; taller than Aaron; an expensive tailored suit. 

And Aaron realised with an awful, almost breath-stealing shock, that he recognised him: he knew the man from _before_. 

The other man was smiling slightly at him and there was a knowing look in his eyes. He looked like he was entertained by the fact that he’d encountered Aaron and there was something almost mocking about the curl of his lips. 

“No,” Aaron said as he shook his head. “You must have the wrong bloke.”

With that, he pulled the door open and hurried back into the corridor. His hands were shaking so he stuffed them into the pockets of his trousers as he walked.

“Maybe not Simon anymore then?” the man’s voice called from behind him. 

Aaron wanted to ignore him; he kept walking: back towards the ballroom, back to Robert. Because this was like something from his nightmares and he needed Robert to anchor him in a reality where this wasn’t happening.

“Does Sugden know he’s brought a rent-boy to the party?”

At the words, Aaron staggered to a halt. He spun around and glared at the man standing in the corridor behind him. Hesitating for a moment, he had no idea what to do: did he confront this head on or retreat to the relative safety of Robert’s side? Eventually, he drew in a deep breath and slowly walked back towards the man. 

“What do you want?” he asked gruffly.

The man smiled at him. “Suddenly got your memory back, then?” he asked, his tone teasing. “I seem to recall you were a lot friendlier when we met last time. I suppose that’s how it works, isn’t it? You do you remember me, don’t you? We had some fun, didn’t we, Simon?”

Aaron’s jaw clenched. He did remember him, not because he was anything particularly memorable, but probably because he’d been with him more than once. He wouldn’t have classed the man as a regular, but he’d definitely picked Aaron up a few times.

“I assume he does know what you are?” the man continued. “I didn’t realise you offered an escort service. I might have taken you up on that if I had.”

“It’s not like that,” Aaron ground out. He didn’t want to say too much, afraid that he’d give something away or give this man some further power over him. He didn’t want to have to justify his relationship with Robert. 

“Of course,” the man said with a nod, like he and Aaron were sharing a secret. “I’m sure Sugden doesn’t want everyone knowing his business.”

“I need to get back inside,” Aaron said and he began to turn away, only to be stopped by the man’s voice again.

“How are you fixed for ‘catching up’ at some point?” He continued casually, like they were talking about going for a coffee.“You know, for old time’s sake? When you’ve finished up with Sugden for the night maybe. I could do with some stress relief.”

Aaron’s stomach flipped uncomfortably at the suggestion. Not only that, but the idea that he was only there with Robert because he was paying him made him feel sick. Swallowing thickly, he shook his head.

“I don’t do that anymore,” he replied lowly. He could hardly meet the man’s eyes as he spoke. 

“Oh, come on,” the man said with a bitter laugh. “Don’t be shy. You know I’m good for the money, and I’ll be gentle.”

He took a step closer and Aaron immediately took one back. From the corner of his eye, he could see through one of the large windows into the ballroom where the guests were still mingling and the music was playing. He turned for a moment and he caught sight of Robert, still talking quite animatedly to someone, completely unaware of Aaron’s turmoil and disgust. 

His eyes snapped back to the man before him when he heard him chuckle to himself. 

“Come on,” he urged again. “If I remember rightly, you’re pretty good. I don’t mind paying a bit extra.”

“No,” Aaron said firmly. “I told you. I don’t do that anymore.”

The man’s eyes narrowed as he assessed Aaron. He looked less friendly suddenly. 

“People like you don’t change,” he said. “You’ll always be worthless; nothing more than an easy screw, willing to do anything for a few quid.”

Aaron sucked in a sharp breath at the words. They felt like a punch to the gut.

“No,” he forced out. “I’m not...things are different now...I don’t do that.”

The man laughed again. “Of course you don’t. So you’re not here with Sugden because he’s paying you by the hour then?”

Aaron almost shuddered at the words. Less than a year ago, they would have been true: he would have been with Robert at the event because he was being paid. But things were different now: they were different.

“It’s not like that,” he muttered.

The man sneered at him. “Whatever you think is going on with him, you’re living a fantasy. If he hasn’t paid you to be here tonight, I’m guessing he either doesn’t know about you and you’re conning him, or he’ll be bored of you within a couple of weeks when you’ve used all your tricks to keep him sweet.”

Aaron’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. This man was so wrong. How dare he insult their relationship like that?

He didn’t want to cause a scene, but he’d have loved to wipe the smirk off the man’s face. He wouldn’t do that to Robert: he wouldn’t ruin his evening or make him look like a fool in front of so many people he dealt with. Glancing back inside the ballroom and finding Robert again, he wanted nothing more than to go to him and ask him if they could leave. When they got home, he’d explain everything that had happened and how it made him feel. He wanted Robert to wrap him up in a hug and tell him everything would be alright. 

“I can see why you like him,” the man’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “He’s young, very handsome, and filthy rich. I don’t blame you for wanting to spend time with him.”

Aaron glared at the man and watched as he looked through the window at Robert. His eyes very obviously trailed over Robert and he gave Aaron a knowing smirk when he looked back at him. It made Aaron’s skin crawl. 

Suddenly, Aaron’s mind flashed back to his encounters with this man. He remembered how he was always pushing for something more, always trying to see how far Aaron would be willing to go to earn his money. And when he looked at him, he saw him for the predator he was. He wondered how many others had gone with this man and been subjected to something awful. He wondered if his own tenacity and often seemingly abrupt manner had saved him from something unthinkable. He wondered why he hadn’t noticed it at the time and why he’d allowed himself to be picked up by the man more than once when he was so clearly an arrogant, abusive prick. 

“You know, maybe you could tempt him to join us. The three of us could have some fun,” the man suggested.

If Aaron felt disgusted before, it was nothing to how appalled he was by the idea. It took everything he had to stay calm and not let his rage take over in that moment. 

“You stay away from him,” he demanded. The idea of this man anywhere near Robert - trying to charm his way around him, chatting supposedly harmlessly about business, buying him drinks and watching as Robert became vulnerable - made him feel sick to his stomach. 

The man laughed suddenly. “That might be difficult seeing as your sugar daddy is the one chasing me for a deal.”

The words cut through Aaron and he felt himself sag a little in shock. He blew out a breath and shook his head slightly. Backing away, he eventually turned and rushed back into the ballroom. He had to get away: he had to get them both away from this place. And then he had to tell Robert everything and make sure he stayed away from that man. 

Quickly, he located Robert and rushed to him. 

“Robert...” he said, completely interrupting the conversation that Robert was having with a couple. He knew it was rude, but he hoped that Robert would understand. 

“Aaron? What are you doing?” Robert asked in complete bewilderment. 

“Robert!” a voice called out from behind Aaron and his eyes widened as the man he’d been desperate to get away from approached Robert and stuck out his hand like they were old friends. 

Robert smiled widely at him. “Good to see you, Richard,” he declared as he shook the offered hand enthusiastically. “I was wondering where you’d got to. Didn’t think you’d miss a big event like this.” 

“Ah, you know me. Like to make an entrance. I got caught up with some business - you know how it is.” He looked at Aaron and something flashed in his eyes.

Aaron watched him with wide eyes, dreading what was about to happen. 

Robert smiled and nodded. He looked at Aaron and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him forward a little so they were side by side. Aaron had stiffened as Robert had touched him, but if he’d noticed he didn’t show it. “Richard, this is Aaron, my partner. Aaron, this is Richard Thompson - he’s the owner of the company I’ve been telling you about. Hopefully my next client,” he added as he raised his eyebrows dramatically. He gestured to Thompson, and Aaron had no choice but to hold out his own hand to shake the other man’s. He almost shuddered at the touch.

Thompson chuckled. “Ah, Robert. I’m just waiting for you to offer me what I really want and then I’ll sign on the dotted line.” He looked at Aaron then. “You know how it is, don’t want to give everything away too easily.”

Robert laughed at the words, but Aaron knew it wasn’t his genuine laugh - the one he only heard when Robert was with him or people he actually liked spending time with. It was his false, formal, ‘I have to keep you happy’, business laugh.

“Nothing about dealing with you is easy, Richard. Never known anyone drive such a hard bargain,” Robert told him, but he was still smiling. 

Thompson shrugged his shoulders. “All’s fair in love and business, so they say. Have to make sure it’s worth it before I get into bed with someone.” His mouth quirked into a smirk and he winked at Robert. 

Robert shook his head like he despaired, but it was obviously all part of their dealing and clearly not the first time that Thompson had played hard to get with Robert. The worst part was that Robert didn’t seem to mind the flirtatious comments or the innuendo. 

The whole interaction made Aaron’s insides churn. He could feel his hands shaking again and sweat forming under his collar at the back of his neck. 

“Excuse me,” Aaron said quietly. “I...um...I just need to...um...go to the bathroom.” 

Robert looked at him in concern. He opened his mouth as though he were about to speak, but Thompson interrupted the moment and Robert’s attention went back to him as Aaron slipped away and through the crowd.

If he could have ran through the crowd without causing a fuss, he would have. He thought he might be sick and there was a ringing in his ears that hadn’t been there before. 

When he reached the toilets, he dived into the first cubicle and locked the door. His heart was pounding as he dragged in quick, ragged breaths. He loosened his collar a little and slid the suit jacket off before leaning back against the wall of the cubicle. His mind was racing. What was he supposed to do? He had to get out of there. And he needed to think. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t think clearly and he couldn’t stop his brain from picturing awful things and moments from his past that suddenly seemed so much worse, and Robert’s disgusted, hurt face if he told him the truth. 

He blew out a long breath to steady his nerves. He had to get himself together. He had to be strong. He could handle this. He could.

Unlocking the door, he walked out and left the toilets. It wasn’t a surprise to see Thompson walking down the corridor towards him. Aaron’s stomach flipped, but he wasn’t going to let his apprehension about how this man could ruin everything show. He turned and walked towards the entrance of the building, in the opposite direction to the ballroom. 

When he got outside, he moved away from the doors and stood waiting. He knew he’d be followed. 

“So it’s Aaron these days, is it?” Thompson asked as he approached Aaron. He still sounded jovial, like this encounter was perfectly normal.

Aaron lifted his chin a little. He refused to show this man how rattled he was. It was almost like he needed to revert back to how he’d been when he’d been working on the streets. He needed to be tougher, harder. He needed to stand up for himself like he always had before. 

“That’s my name,” he said bluntly. 

Thompson chuckled. “I’m hurt that you felt the need to lie to me, Aaron.” He laid a hand over his heart and pouted at Aaron. 

Hearing his name used by the man before him felt horribly personal. It sent yet another shudder through Aaron. But he didn’t back down. 

“You need to leave me alone,” he said. “I’m going to tell Robert everything.”

“That’s funny,” Thompson said. “Because you could’ve done that already. But you just stood there and let him ‘introduce’ us like you’ve never seen me before, like I’ve not fucked you before.”

Aaron winced at the words. 

“You lied to him,” Thompson added.

“He’ll understand,” Aaron replied, but his head was already imagining Robert’s hurt face when he found out the truth. 

Thompson frowned and looked at him like he was stupid. “I’m not sure he’ll like the truth very much. Sugden’s a heartless son of a bitch and he doesn’t like to be messed about,” he continued. “Don’t pin all your hopes on him sticking by you and saving you from the streets. He only cares about money and he won’t be impressed when he finds out what you’ve been up to.”

Aaron had had enough. He wasn’t going to stand there and listen to this creep hurl abuse at him, say things about Robert, and comment on their relationship. “You know nothing about him, or us,” he snapped. 

Thompson laughed again. It seemed like he was genuinely enjoying mocking Aaron and taunting him. 

“Oh, you really are an ‘us’, are you? Fascinating. Wonder if there’d still be an ‘us’ if I went in there and told everyone who you really were.”

Aaron actually rolled his eyes at that. Maybe Thomson wasn’t holding all the cards in this situation after all.

“You’re not going to do that though, are you? Because then everyone would wonder how you knew about my past. And if you’ve told everyone about me, I wouldn’t think twice about telling them exactly how you know.”

Thompson smirked at him. “You’re a feisty one, aren’t you? That’s probably why I came back for more. But you see, sleeping with a whore is one thing: shacking up with one is completely different.”

Aaron’s face fell at the words. 

“I’m sure a few of the more stuffy folk in there would be outraged by the scandal, but most of them have probably fucked someone they shouldn’t have. They’d have forgotten about it within a week. But how desperate must a person be to actually settle for someone else’s - quite a few someone else’s, let’s face it - sloppy seconds? Sugden’s reputation would be ruined if everyone found out. He’d be a laughing stock. And I’m pretty sure most of the people in that room wouldn’t want to do business with him if they knew he was such a sad-case.”

It felt like a physical blow to Aaron to hear their relationship reduced to such a cruel description. He almost felt his heart break; his stomach rolled and he felt bile rise in his throat. 

Maybe the disgusting man before him was right. Maybe Robert was lowering himself to be with Aaron. Maybe Aaron was dragging him down. Maybe they were doomed from the start. 

But something deep inside him rebelled against those treacherous thoughts. He loved Robert; Robert loved him. They were meant to be together. They wouldn’t have found their way back to one another after everything they’d been through, if they didn’t belong together. 

He forced himself to stand up straight and stand still. He wanted to turn and run away, but he wouldn’t. He refused to let this man break him. 

“You’re full of bullshit,” he ground out. 

“Maybe,” Thompson said easily. “But do you want to risk it?”

“What do you want from me?” Aaron asked, unable to keep the desperation from his voice. 

“I’ve told you: just a little catch-up,” Thompson replied. 

Aaron shook his head. This wasn’t happening. 

“Aaron?” Robert’s voice called across from the entranceway. “Are you alright?” He walked over and then realised that his potential client was standing there. “Oh, Richard. Sorry, didn’t see you there.” He turned to Aaron. “I’ve been looking for you. What are you doing out here? Are you okay?”

Aaron just looked at him and blinked a few times. He felt completely lost for words, like he didn’t know how to answer thatquestion without bursting into tears. 

“I...I needed some fresh air. I don’t...I don’t feel well.”

“I came out for a smoke and found him,” Thompson said and when Aaron glanced at him, he was casually holding a cigarette between his fingers like he didn’t have a care in the world. “Looks a bit under the weather to me.”

Robert stepped closer to Aaron and looked at him carefully. “You do look a bit pale. Do you want to go home?” He reached up and gently cupped the side of Aaron’s face and it took Aaron everything in his power not to shrink away from the affectionate gesture. 

“Yes,” he whispered. Even that one tiny word felt like a massive effort and he knew his voice sounded shaky. 

The genuine concern on Robert’s face made Aaron feel so guilty, like he was a truly terrible person. Robert wrapped an arm around his waist and, again, Aaron almost flinched at the contact. It wasn’t Robert’s fault, but Aaron could hardly bear the touch and the sudden self-doubt that he didn’t deserve any comfort felt like it was dragging him down. 

“Let’s get you home,” Robert said softly. 

“I hope you’re soon feeling more like it, Aaron,” Thompson called from behind them and Aaron squeezed his eyes closed at the man’s voice and the way his words seemed to carry a completely different meaning. 

He felt Robert twist and look over his shoulder. The only relief was that Robert had seemingly forgotten all about Thompson because he’d been so worried about his boyfriend. 

“Thanks, Richard. I’ll give you a call this week,” Robert replied. 

“I’ll look forward to it.”

Aaron felt his breathing stutter a little as he dragged in a breath and Robert immediately focused his attention back on him. 

“Come on,” Robert said gently. He guided Aaron away and back to the car. 

Aaron didn’t remember any of the journey home: his mind was a mess of confusion and fear and self-loathing. 

He could feel Robert’s concerned eyes on him as he glanced over at him in the car, as they made their way back up to the apartment, and when they walked back inside. He knew Robert was worried, but he couldn’t bring himself to pretend that he was alright: he didn’t have the strength. 

The front door closed behind them and Aaron immediately wandered towards their bedroom. He didn’t say a word: he hadn’t said anything since they’d left the event. At least not anything more than one word answers to Robert’s gentle, concerned questions. 

“Do you want me to get you anything?” Robert asked from somewhere behind him.

Aaron shook his head. “No...thank you. I’m...I’m just going to get a shower and go to bed.”

Sliding his suit jacket down his arms, he threw it onto the bed. Being so lost in his own head meant he didn’t realise that Robert had wandered into the room behind him and was suddenly right beside him. A hand landing on his shoulder made him flinch and he shrugged away from the touch immediately. He spun around and blinked rapidly at Robert who looked shocked and a little hurt by his reaction. 

“Sorry - didn’t mean to make you jump,” Robert said quietly. 

And Aaron wanted to cry suddenly. Because Robert was only trying to comfort him; Robert was so worried about him. And instead of falling into his arms and soaking up the love and protection that he offered, Aaron was shrinking away from his touch and hiding the truth. 

‘I don’t deserve his love,’ he thought to himself miserably. ‘I’m not good enough for him.’

He felt dirty and wrong and like everything he’d worked so hard for had been tainted all because of his horrible, filthy past. How could he let Robert touch him when he didn’t know how awful he really was? 

Aaron could feel his eyes burning: he knew he was on the verge of tears. 

“Just, um, I just don’t want you to catch it...you know, whatever’s making me feel ill,” he lied, and then felt even worse because the deception seemed to fall from his lips so easily. 

Robert gave him a tiny smile as he rubbed Aaron’s back. Again it took Aaron all his strength to hold himself together: he felt like he was about to fall apart at any moment. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured as he looked up at Robert, tears welling in his eyes.

Robert shook his head and then, before Aaron could move, he pulled him into a hug. “You don’t need to apologise,” he said kindly. “You can’t help being poorly.”

Aaron allowed himself to be held for a few moments, drawing comfort from Robert’s strength before he cursed himself and silently berated himself for thinking he deserved any sort of affection or care from Robert. There was no doubt in his mind that Robert would not be as understanding if he knew what Aaron was really apologising for.

He pulled away from Robert’s embrace, his eyes cast down to the carpet. 

“I’m going to go for a shower,” he said quietly. 

“Okay,” Robert replied. “Give me a shout if you need anything.”

Aaron merely nodded and turned towards the en-suite. Once he was inside, he closed the door behind him, stripped out of his clothes and left them in a pile on the floor, and stepped into the shower cubicle. He turned on the water and moved beneath the spray. And then he cried. 

He didn’t understand why this was happening. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong to make Thompson want to cause him so much trouble: their encounters hadn’t ended badly; Aaron hadn’t wronged him in any way. So he couldn’t comprehend why the man seemed so intent on tormenting him and threatening him. 

He was scared. Scared of what would happen and scared of Thompson carrying out his threats. But mostly he was terrified that he was going to lose Robert. 

He didn’t know what to do. Every option he considered seemed to lead to the same conclusion - Robert wouldn’t be able to handle the truth. His feelings towards Aaron would change if he was faced with the horrible, dirty truth. He’d probably try to deal with it, try to pretend it didn’t matter, but it would matter and it would change them. Of course he knew about Aaron’s previous profession - it was how they’d met after all - but knowing about it and being confronted with it in the form of one of Aaron’s former Johns, who was supposed to be Robert’s next big client, were two very different things. He didn’t need that stress and he didn’t need the humiliation of knowing his boyfriend had been paid for sex by one of his business associates.

Sinking down into the bottom of theshower, Aaron sat with his head buried in his arms as the water beat down on him. He wanted it to wash away his shame and disgust and the feeling of Thompson’s eyes and words on his skin. 

For the first time in a long time, he felt ashamed of himself. For the first time in months, he felt alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, I don’t feel that Aaron should feel to blame for this situation, or that Robert would react badly to Aaron’s past, but I’m writing Aaron’s thoughts and feelings and he is really struggling to deal with this so that’s why I’m writing him this way.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the amazing feedback and encouragement on this fic so far. Real-life is tough going at the moment and I’ve been so unbelievably busy, so thanks for your patience while I’ve been working on this next chapter. 
> 
> Plenty of angst ahead...

Aaron woke up alone. 

It wasn’t entirely unheard of but, these days, more often than not, Robert would be there in their bed, either still sleeping soundly or blinking awake slowly or smiling softly at Aaron as he himself woke up. 

Occasionally, Robert would be up and out of bed - sometimes because he had an early meeting, sometimes because Aaron had a rare day off (and therefore was having a lie-in), or sometimes because he was up and making them breakfast or bringing Aaron a cup of tea in bed. 

As he slowly opened his eyes, which seemed like a huge effort, and stared up at the ceiling, he wondered if it was a bad sign. Maybe it was a sign of things to come that the morning after he’d had his unnerving encounter with his past, he was waking up alone with no idea where Robert was. 

The duvet was pulled up to his chin and he felt almost cocooned inside it, like it was protecting him from the reality he didn’t want to face. 

He’d had a terrible night. After his shower, he climbed into bed and tried to stop his mind racing. He just wanted to sleep: he wanted to forget what had happened; pretend it was all a bad dream when he woke up in the morning. He’d been absolutely exhausted, but sleep wouldn’t come to him. He’d lain awake turning over the events of the evening in his mind, wondering how he’d got himself into such a mess and why Thompson felt the need to treat him like he was. 

He’d pictured Robert’s face, looking at him in concern, and hated himself for lying to him. 

As he’d lain there, he’d realised he hadn’t even said goodnight to Robert and that had just piled more guilt on top of him. The simplest of things, but it seemed foreboding somehow. 

But then when the bedroom door had been quietly opened, and Robert had crept into the room, Aaron had squeezed his eyes closed, made sure his breathing was steady and slow, and pretended to be asleep. And that was just something else for him to feel bad about, yet more dishonesty. But he hadn’t been able to face Robert and his worry and the thought of him pulling Aaron into another caring embrace had been too much. Aaron knew he’d have broken down and he knew he couldn’t allow that to happen. Crying inconsolably wasn’t going to solve this problem. 

At some point, he must have fallen asleep, but his sleep had been disturbed and he’d woken up several times. He’d had dreams and seen flashes of angry faces and hurt expressions and slamming doors. He’d jolted awake more than once and he’d glanced over at Robert every time to see if he was still there. He’d woken up tangled in bedding and feeling trapped and gasping for breath. As he blinked up at the ceiling, he supposed he should have been grateful for managing to actually sleep at all and for the fact that he’d managed to grab a few hours. That didn’t stop his eyes feeling sore and gritty. 

The ceiling didn’t offer any answers as he stared up at it. He still didn’t know what to do. 

He was completely bewildered about why Thompson would want to cause him trouble. It wasn’t like the man could’ve set out that evening with a plan to threaten Aaron and try to get him into bed. He hadn’t seen Aaron in years and Aaron certainly had no idea that there was any link between any of his former clients and Robert. Of course, he wasn’t naive: he’d always known that there might be a chance that he’d encounter someone he’d ‘worked’ for before at some point. He just hadn’t expected it to be one of Robert’s acquaintances. The way that Thompson seemed so keen to threaten him and didn’t seem to care that he was threatening Aaron’s happiness was scary. If he wasn’t worried about being so brazen in his suggestions, Aaron was frightened about how far he’d go. 

And he just didn’t understand. What did Thompson have to gain from any of it? He couldn’t have been that desperate to get laid that he’d go to these lengths. If he was, it wasn’t like he couldn’t go out and find another companion on a street corner somewhere: he’d obviously done it before. Apart from the fact that he was clearly a sleaze, he was obviously getting some perverse thrill out of treating Aaron like he was. Maybe he enjoyed the feeling of power. Aaron didn’t know. He didn’t want to know how someone like Thompson’s mind worked. He was clearly twisted and sick and a heartless monster who didn’t care who he hurt with his scheming and games. 

But acknowledging that didn’t help Aaron solve his problem. He blew out a long breath and squeezed his eyes closed. 

What was he going to do? Maybe he should just tell Robert what had happened. But the more he thought about it, the more awful that idea seemed. What would Robert think of him? What if he was disgusted by Aaron and what he’d done? What if he pretended it didn’t matter but deep down he couldn’t stand it and it drove them apart? 

And what about Robert’s business? He couldn’t give up another deal because of Aaron. He’d already backed out of his contract with the Whites for the shelter. He couldn’t throw away another opportunity because of Aaron’s pathetic history. Surely it would damage his reputation, maybe beyond repair this time. Aaron couldn’t ask him to sacrifice anything else. He wasn’t worth it.

Just as he felt tears burning in his eyes, the bedroom door opened slowly and Robert peered around it. He smiled softly when he saw that Aaron was awake. 

“Morning,” he said quietly. He wandered into the room with a cup of tea in his hands and walked around to Aaron’s side of the bed. He placed the mug on Aaron’s bedside table and then sat down on the edge of the bed next to Aaron. “How are you feeling?” he asked, as he laid his hand on Aaron’s arm through the duvet. 

Aaron tried for a smile but he knew it was a weak attempt. He cleared his throat. “I’m alright,” he replied quietly.

“You don’t have to pretend with me, you know,” Robert told him. 

Something cold slid down Aaron’s spine at the words. His heart leapt into his throat. Did Robert know the truth? Had he found out somehow? What if Thompson had called him and told him?

“I...” he started but Robert just shook his head.

“It’s okay,” he said. “You don’t have to pretend to be feeling better just to stop me worrying. I can see you’re not right. You look really pale still.” He reached out and ran his hand through Aaron’s hair gently. Aaron closed his eyes, half yearning for the caring touch and half feeling guilty for accepting it.

“And you look shattered,” Robert continued. “I’m not surprised - you were tossing and turning all night.”

Aaron looked at him. “Sorry,” he murmured. Knowing his disturbed sleep had kept Robert awake too just made him feel even worse. 

“Hey, I told you last night, you don’t need to apologise. I’m just worried about you. I hate seeing you like this.”

“I’ll be alright,” Aaron replied quietly. 

Robert just hummed in response. “Look, I’ve got to get to work, so are you sure you’re going to be okay? Do you want me to get you anything before I go?” He stood up and looked down at Aaron. 

Aaron shook his head. “No, thank you. I’d better get up anyway. Got to get ready for work.” He started pushing himself up out of bed and swung his legs over the side. Regardless of what else was going on, he had a shift and maybe going to work and carrying on as normal would help in some way: maybe the distraction would do him good. 

“What are you on about?” Robert asked. He was frowning and looked genuinely confused. “You’re not going to work today.”

“What? I have a shift starting at nine,” Aaron told him. 

“Well, no you don’t actually. I called your boss this morning and told him you wouldn’t be in.”

Aaron froze where he was and blinked at Robert a few times. Something hot flashed through him and he shook his head. How dare Robert make that decision? How dare he cancel his shift without even asking him if that was what he wanted? What was he playing at? It wasn’t up to him. He didn’t get to control Aaron like that.

“Why the hell did you do that?” he asked angrily. 

Robert looked completely taken aback. He opened his mouth to speak but Aaron ploughed on. 

“It wasn’t up to you to decide. I can’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry I’ve upset you,” Robert replied immediately. He looked like he was completely bewildered by Aaron’s reaction. “But you were so ill last night. I just didn’t think you’d be up to it today.”

“Oh, well that’s alright then. You’ve made my decision for me.” Aaron could feel his heart thudding in his chest as he jabbed his finger between himself and Robert. For a moment, he felt trapped, like he needed to make a run for it so he could escape everything closing in around him. “If I wasn’t well, I’d have called him myself. It wasn’t up to you. You don’t get to decide what I do. You don’t get to control me.”

Robert held out his hands almost like he was surrendering and, when Aaron looked at him properly, it seemed like he was upset by the conversation. 

“I wasn’t trying to control you, Aaron,” he said quietly. “I was worried - that’s all. I just...I thought I was doing the right thing. I’m sorry I’ve upset you.” 

Aaron felt himself deflate suddenly. He didn’t even know when he’d stood up but he’d been pacing the room and was standing staring at Robert across the space between them. The fight drained from him as he realised how he’d reacted so irrationally, how he’d taken out his frustrations and fears on Robert, the last person who deserved it. All of a sudden, there were tears in his eyes and he staggered back to the bed and sunk down onto the edge of it, putting his head in his hands. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. 

He felt Robert’s presence and then a gentle hand on his knee. When he found the courage to peer through his fingers, Robert was kneeling down in front of him, looking at him with concern all over his face. Aaron thought he deserved anger: Robert should have been furious with him for his behaviour surely. But instead, he just looked worried and a little sad and still shocked by Aaron’s outburst. 

“I’m sorry,” Aaron repeated. “I shouldn’t have...”

“Hey,” Robert stopped him. “It’s alright.” He stroked his hand over Aaron’s knee gently. “I didn’t mean to overstep. I should’ve checked first.”

Miserably, Aaron shook his head. “You were just trying to help. It was so thoughtful of you to look after me like that.”

“I’ll always look after you,” Robert told him earnestly. 

“I shouldn’t have had a go at you,” Aaron continued. He already felt bad enough about what had happened the night before and the way he’d kept the truth from Robert, and now he’d bitten Robert’s head off just for caring about him. He felt truly wretched, like he was a terrible person. 

“It’s alright,” Robert repeated. “You’re not feeling well - we all get grumpy when we’re under the weather: it makes everything seem worse.”

Aaron opened his mouth to protest: to apologise again, or maybe to tell Robert that actually it was far worse than he realised. But Robert cut him off. 

“No more apologising. It’s fine. If you feel up to going in to work, I’m sure your boss won’t mind if you ring him. Blame the confusion on me.” He smiled and shrugged his shoulders slightly. 

Blowing out a long breath, Aaron shook his head slowly. For all of his extreme reaction to Robert’s interference, he really didn’t feel up to going into work. He just couldn’t face it. He needed time to get his head sorted and figure out what he was going to do.

“No...you’re right. I’m not feeling too good. I think a day at home would be for the best.”

Robert nodded in agreement and pushed himself up to stand in front of Aaron. He ran his hand over the side of Aaron’s head before he leant down and pressed a kiss against his forehead.

“Get some rest today,” he said quietly. “I’m only at the end of the phone if you need anything.”

Aaron nodded and gave Robert a weak smile. 

After a moment of lingering, Robert turned to leave. “I’ll see you later. Love you,” he said as he turned back once more. 

Aaron knew that, if he’d asked, Robert would have forgotten about work and stayed with him for the day, and he was so tempted to ask. It flashed through his mind: if Robert stayed, he could sit him down and tell him what had happened. But almost as soon as he pictured it, he shied away from the idea. He couldn’t tell Robert. He couldn’t stand the look of betrayal and disappointment he knew he’d see on his face if he learnt the truth. 

“Bye,” he said quietly. “Love you too.”

When the door closed behind Robert, Aaron slumped back against the bed. He blinked up at the ceiling again: he still couldn’t see any answers written on it. But he knew he had some decisions to make. 

***

Deciding what to do hadn’t been easy. 

Aaron had spent the day in utter turmoil.

He’d gone around in circles all day, coming to a conclusion and then talking himself out of it within minutes. 

Part of him wanted to just tell Robert what had happened with Thompson. Robert knew he had a past: he wouldn’t be bothered. In fact, he’d probably be furious on Aaron’s behalf and he’d stand by him. 

But as soon as he’d settled on that plan, he’d imagined actually sitting down with Robert to explain and, in his head, seen Robert’s hurt face and how he’d pull away from Aaron and how he wasn’t sure if Robert would actually be able to get past the idea that someone he wanted to do business with had paid Aaron for sex before they’d ever met. 

Rationally, he knew it wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t done anything wrong. How could he have ever predicted what the future held when he’d been picked up by Thompson? But it just felt so wrong now. It felt like he’d betrayed Robert somehow. And maybe that was because of the lies he’d told since encountering Thompson again. He hadn’t known for sure - all he’d known was that he couldn’t tell Robert. 

Once he’d decided that he was going to keep it secret, he just had to decide how to deal with Thompson. 

The man was clearly a creep. But maybe his threats were hollow. What could he actually do about it if Aaron refused his suggestion? Because there was absolutely no question that his answer was ‘no’. 

He would rather die than be intimidated into going anywhere near that man again. And not just because the thought made his skin crawl, but because he’d never cheat on Robert. 

Even if he tried to ruin Robert’s reputation, surely it was just a case of his word against Aaron’s. And they could just tell everyone Thompson was deluded and stick to their own story of how they met. 

And it wasn’t like there was any reason to doubt that. 

Of course, Aaron didn’t want him to do that because then Robert would find out, but, maybe if Aaron didn’t give Thompson any ammunition, the other man would just get bored and give up on his sick games. 

It had taken him all day, but eventually he’d decided on his plan. And that was to do nothing. 

Realistically, his path never needed to cross Thompson’s again. Robert might be dealing with him, but surely if Aaron wasn’t anywhere near him, it would be a case of out of sight, out of mind. Thompson would probably just forget all about him. He probably already had. Maybe the other man had just been taking a chance and hoping that Aaron would agree to do what he wanted if he applied enough pressure. But when Aaron had refused, he’d probably given up the idea just as quickly as he’d had it. 

A quiet voice in Aaron’s head was telling him that things couldn’t be that simple - that things didn’t work out like that for him - but he silenced it. He had to believe it would be alright. He had to believe that it was over before anything had really happened. He had to because, if he didn’t, everything would fall apart. 

Some people might call it denial, but Aaron preferred self-preservation. He had no choice but to carry on as normal, forget the whole mess with Thompson and hold onto the belief that it was truly over, or would be if he stayed off Thompson’s radar for good. 

He knew there was nothing he could do about Thompson being associated with Robert. As much as he hated the idea of Robert dealing with Thompson, he had no choice but to accept it. There was no way he could talk Robert out of the deal without giving away everything that had happened between them in the past and more recently. 

He’d decided. He wasn’t going to talk to Robert about any of it. He was going to keep it all a secret, deal with it in his own way. He was going to forget all about it. 

***

Forgetting about it seemed to be working for the most part. Or at least that was what he was telling himself. 

Aaron had done a good job of ‘recovering’ from his mystery illness and Robert had just been relieved to see him back to his old self. 

It had been a few weeks since Aaron’s run-in with Thompson and Aaron had tried to push the whole thing far from his mind. He’d tried. He hadn’t always been successful. 

He was so busy with work and the shelter and then his college course that he rarely had time to dwell on what had happened but, no matter how much he tried to pretend it was fine, and it was forgotten about, it had rattled him. It had shaken his belief that he’d moved on with his life and left a niggling doubt in his mind. When he was busy, he was fine: he didn’t have time to think about it. But when he stopped for the day, or when he lay in bed awake, or when he stood motionless under the spray of the shower for too long, the thoughts came creeping back. Thompson’s words came creeping back. He doubted himself, he questioned everything he’d done, and he wondered how Robert would ever forgive him if he found out the truth. 

As much as he’d tried to be ‘normal’, he couldn’t hide the fact that sometimes he drifted off into his own head. Robert had broken him out of a trance more than once over the last few weeks: at first, he’d smiled fondly at Aaron’s daydreaming; then he’d started looking at him with concern as he’d had to break through Aaron’s barriers yet again to bring him back to the present. 

Aaron had waved him off when he’d asked if he was alright. He kept telling Robert he was fine, but Robert had been watching him more closely and seemed to be trying to figure something out when he glanced at him. 

Aaron knew he’d been more quiet than usual and he knew he’d been a little distant. He’d never found excuses to avoid Robert before but, over the weeks since Thompson had shown up, Aaron had become even busier than before and maybe was ‘tired’ more often and always seemed to have a reason why he couldn’t do anything too ‘coupley’ when Robert suggested it. 

He’d even shied away from sex for nearly a week, which was most definitely unheard of for them. He’d feigned tiredness and claimed the side-effects from being unwell were still lingering but, in reality, he was scared. Not scared of Robert: he would never feel afraid of him or think he’d hurt him like that. But scared that he wasn’t good enough; that Robert would touch him and somehow see all of his secrets; that he was somehow tainted by what had happened and unworthy of Robert. 

And Robert had been so wonderful about it all. He’d snuggled up to Aaron one night, his erection pressing against Aaron’s hip, and when Aaron had told him he wasn’t feeling up to it, Robert had smiled softly at him and pressed a chaste kiss to his temple before he’d relaxed against his pillow and nodded off. He’d never tried to pressure Aaron and seemed to have decided he’d wait until Aaron came to him.Eventually, Aaron had made the first move and initiated something between them, and it had been as amazing as always between them. Robert had even jokingly remarked on how the ‘week off’ had made it seem like a real treat, like it had heightened the anticipation so it had been more than worth the wait. 

And it all just made Aaron feel worse somehow. Robert had been nothing but understanding and seemed genuinely concerned about him. And Aaron just didn’t think he deserved it. He almost wanted Robert to snap and have a go at him, be angry with him for being such a let-down, and then he’d be able to shout back at him, maybe vent some of his frustration, maybe walk out of the door in a rage and drive off for a while to get some space. 

But that wasn’t fair. Because none of it was Robert’s fault so it wasn’t right to take it out on him. 

But maybe he already was hurting Robert. The last few weeks had been strained between them. Robert had no idea what was wrong. He’d asked Aaron if he was okay, if there was something on his mind, and Aaron had always told him he was fine. When he’d asked again, he’d bluntly told Robert to stop fussing and then felt guilty at the expression on Robert’s face. And Robert had grown quieter over the last few weeks, like he didn’t know what to say to Aaron without asking if he was alright. He obviously wasn’t blind: he knew Aaron and he knew there was something going on. He just didn’t know what and had no way of working it out. 

So maybe trying to forget all about his problems wasn’t working out quite as well as Aaron had hoped it would.

***

Aaron had a plan. He was feeling bad about how everything he’d been worrying about had driven a bit of a wedge between himself and Robert, and so he’d decided to do something nice for him to try to get things back to normal. 

In the weeks since the business event, there had been no mention of Thompson and Aaron was beginning to hope that maybe he’d been right all along - maybe he really had just been trying his luck that night and he’d forgotten all about Aaron since. 

Aaron was going to make an effort to put it all behind him. He just wanted everything to be back to the way it was before. He loved Robert - more than anything. And he wanted to make sure the other man knew that.

He drove across the city to the building which held Robert’s offices. It was a modern multi-storey, all sparkling glass and gleaming metal, and it never failed to wow Aaron when he visited. The first time he’d been was with Robert months ago and he’d almost felt afraid to touch anything for fear of leaving finger marks on the polished surfaces or inadvertently setting off some sort of alarm. That had changed when Robert, clearly sensing his anxiety, had swept a load of paperwork onto the floor off one of the conference tables in a dramatic, completely over-the-top scene straight from a movie. They’d both burst out laughing at his actions but then decided to make the most of it and actually shagged on the table. It was safe to say that while Aaron was still awed by the fantastic building, he couldn’t bring himself to worry about touching anything when his bare arse had been pressed against the table that Robert held his meetings around. 

The memory made him smile as he ascended in the lift to the floors where Robert’s offices were located. He remembered how, giddy and flushed after their escapade, they’d got back into the lift to head back down and Robert had pressed him up against the wall, kissing him deeply until a smooth voice announced that they were at the ground floor and Robert had released him.

He didn’t have many chances to head down to visit Robert at work, and Robert was extremely busy anyway, but he felt confident and at ease when he did and that was all thanks to Robert. When he thought about his history, he never would have dreamed that he’d be someone who could wander into a building like that so casually, but he could and he could do it with a smile on his face because of Robert. He’d made him feel like he was good enough. He’d made him feel like he could belong anywhere he wanted to. He’d made him feel like he was worth something. 

As the lift pinged, the smooth voice announced he’d arrived at his destination, and the doors swooshed open. He was still smiling softly to himself. He was going to surprise Robert and take him out for some lunch. He deserved something nice like that. He’d casually enquired aboutRobert’s schedule that morning and realised he had a gap at one, so he was just a few minutes early. 

He wandered over to the reception desk. 

“Hello, Aaron,” Priya greeted him brightly.

“Hi. He’s not expecting me, but I thought I’d surprise Robert and take him out for some lunch,” Aaron told her. 

Priya wrinkled her nose in delight. “Oh, aren’t you sweet? He’s just finishing up with a client, but I can let him know you’re here. Do you want to take a seat?”

Aaron made his way to the waiting area, listening as Priya tapped away on her keyboard and continued answering calls. 

A door to one of the offices swung open and Robert stepped out, scanning the waiting room. His face lit-up when he saw Aaron and he walked over to him immediately. 

Aaron’s heart thudded in his chest. He loved him so much. Just seeing him in that moment made him so indescribably happy. 

Aaron stood up and wrapped his arms around Robert when he approached him and pecked a kiss onto his cheek. He held on to Robert and breathed him in for a moment.

“What are you doing here?” Robert asked against his neck. He seemed to be quite content to just hold onto Aaron too. “Not that I’m complaining, obviously.”

He pulled back and smiled at Aaron fondly. 

“Thought you might like to go out for some lunch. My treat,” Aaron replied. 

Robert beamed at him. “Of course, I would.” He glanced over his shoulder as the door to the office opened again and Leyla stuck her head out. “I’ve just got to finish up in there and then I’m all yours.” He pressed a quick kiss to Aaron’s lips. “Five minutes, okay?”

Aaron nodded. He couldn’t stop grinning. Robert seemed so genuinely pleased to see him. They needed this. They needed some time together. 

Robert turned and quickly made his way back to the office and Aaron sat back down to wait. 

A few minutes past as he played about with his phone and when a door opened, Aaron looked up expectantly. His face fell as he saw Richard Thompson walk out of one of the other offices, bidding farewell to whoever he’d been dealing with inside. He looked cocky and smarmy and that was before he’d even laid eyes on Aaron. When he realised that Aaron was sitting in the waiting area, his eyes narrowed and the smile on his face turned almost predatory. 

Aaron’s heart had started pounding in his chest as soon as he’d seen the other man: his fight or flight instincts were roaring inside him, but what options did he actually have? He couldn’t exactly stand up and run out of the building, and punching the man was out of the question, no matter how much he might like to. 

Thompson sauntered over to him as though he didn’t have a care in the world. He stood over Aaron, smiling down at him like he obviously knew he held all the power.

“Aaron,” he greeted him smoothly. “We must stop meeting like this.”

Aaron just scowled up at him. He didn’t want to give himself away, didn’t want him to know how uncomfortable he felt.

Thompson continued to smirk at him. “I do hope you’re feeling more like your old self now,” he said, and even such seemingly innocent words seemed to carry another meaning. It was obvious to Aaron that he was implying that Aaron was back to his old ways of making his money. 

Clenching his jaw, Aaron glanced over at Priya, wishing despite how much he didn’t want everyone to know the truth, that she would notice that something wasn’t right about this conversation. Unfortunately, she was so busy with taking calls and tapping away on her tablet that she didn’t even look up at the two of them. Anything she overheard would sound merely like friendly conversation. 

“What are you doing here?” Aaron ground out. 

“Moving forward with the contract that Robert is so desperate to secure. I have to admit I was a little disappointed not to see him today, but there’ll be plenty of time for us to get better acquainted once we’ve signed on the dotted line.”

Aaron’s stomach rolled at the thought of it. He pushed himself up suddenly just as Leyla appeared through the door that Robert had come from. 

“Leyla,” he called, “Please can you tell Robert I’ve gone downstairs to wait for him outside.”

She smiled and nodded, opening her mouth to reply, but before she could say anything, Aaron had turned and stepped around Thompson to make his way to the lift. He didn’t look round and thankfully the doors slid open quickly and he walked inside. It was only as the doors were closing that he allowed himself a moment to look up. 

Thompson was engaged in conversation with Leyla, but he raised his eyebrows at Aaron as their eyes met. 

As soon as the doors opened on the ground floor, Aaron pushed through the gap and all but ran through the lobby and out of the front doors. Once outside, he leant his hands against one of the low walls where the workers from the building came to sit for a cigarette or a sandwich at lunchtime and hung his head. He drew in a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. He needed to get himself under control before Robert found him. 

“Do you know, I was convinced I’d get an irate phone call from Sugden telling me to back off.” The voice sent a shudder through Aaron and he straightened immediately and spun round to face Thompson who was closing the distance between them casually.

Aaron just blew out another breath. He could feel his eyes burning as tears started to build. What was wrong with this man? Why couldn’t he leave him alone? 

“I was sure the deal would be off when he found out about us,” he continued.

“There is no us,” Aaron replied quietly.

Thompson continued speaking like Aaron hadn’t even said anything. “You obviously didn’t tell him. What a good boy you are,” he said and he grinned at Aaron. “Or maybe you’re a bad boy after all.” He winked at Aaron like they were sharing a secret and Aaron thought he might be sick. 

The realisation that he should have just told Robert as soon as he’d encountered Thompson, or at least when they’d got home, hit him like a punch to the stomach. If he had, Robert might have been a little upset or a bit freaked out, but he’d have been on Aaron’s side: of course he would. Aaron knew that now as he actually thought about it. And if he had told him, this would be over because there would be no way that Robert would allow this man anywhere near Aaron and he certainly wouldn’t be going into business with him. 

He blinked rapidly to force back the tears that wanted to fall. 

“What’s to stop me telling him now?” he asked, hoping he sounded confident, but knowing it was a poor attempt. 

Thompson chuckled. “You’ve been lying to him for weeks. How do you think that will look? You’ve lost your chance. Tell him now and I could just tell him we’ve been having an affair behind his back. What reason would I have to lie to him? Whereas you...your lies have been going on for weeks. They haven’t exactly helped your case, have they? What would he think? He wouldn’t know what to believe. How would he be able to trust you?”

Aaron felt each word chip away at him, like they were destroying him and his relationship with Robert with each cruel blow. 

“I wonder what will hurt him more - knowing you’ve been lying to him or losing his business.”

“What?” Aaron asked in shock. 

“Well, you haven’t been very receptive to my offer, so I’m assuming you want to see him ruined. I can make it so he never gets a deal in this city again.”

Thompson paused and stepped a little closer to Aaron. He narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Is that what you want? Do you want to see him ruined? His business destroyed because of you?”

Aaron let out a tiny sob. He shook his head minutely. 

“Why are you doing this?” he whispered desperately. 

Thompson smirked again. “Because I can,” he replied easily. “Because why should Sugden be the only one having a good time? And because no-one says no to me, Aaron. I’m a man who likes to get his own way.”

“Please,” Aaron begged. “Please, just leave us alone.”

Thompson reached out suddenly and gripped Aaron’s upper arm. 

”You could make all of this go away, if you just...agree to spending some time with me.”

Aaron stared at him with wide eyes. He’d never felt so powerless in his life. No, that was wrong...he’d felt like this before when he’d been a child at the mercy of his evil father. He knew he was shaking but the fear had gripped him entirely. He’d been abused by his father; he’d lived on the streets; he’d been beaten up and treated like shit; he’d struggled against his demons for a long time. And somehow he’d found a strength inside himself that had kept him going: he’d fought back. When he’d found Robert, he’d been stronger than ever. And now he was going to lose it all. He didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. In that moment, he was a scared little boy all over again.

He felt something brush against his side and when he looked down he realised that Thompson had pushed something into the pocket of his jacket. 

“My card for when you’re ready to get in touch.”

With that, he released Aaron and walked away like he hadn’t just destroyed Aaron’s whole world. 

Aaron’s shaking legs gave out and he slumped onto the wall behind him. He thought he was about to be sick at any moment and his heart was still racing. He could feel the cold sweat all over him. A few tears dribbled down his face and he scrubbed them away roughly. 

He had no time to think because when he looked up, Robert was walking through the revolving glass doors of the building, glancing side to side as he tried to find Aaron. 

Aaron drew in a deep breath and pushed himself to his feet. He might not feel strong but he had to pull himself together. He could do this. If these were to be his last days with Robert, he was going to make them count. 

“Rob!” he called, waving and forcing a smile onto his face. 

Robert immediately caught sight of him and quickened his pace to close the distance between them. He looked so happy to see Aaron and it broke Aaron’s heart to know that it wasn’t going to last. 


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to everyone who has given me any feedback on this fic. It means so much to me. 
> 
> Oh, the angst...

It had been a weird couple of weeks. 

Robert didn’t know exactly what had happened - what had changed - but things were weird. Things had been off for a few weeks and Robert couldn’t quite explain why. He just knew that Aaron wasn’t himself and therefore neither was he. 

He’d been watching Aaron closely for weeks. Something was wrong with him, but no matter how many times Robert asked him if he was alright, Aaron always fobbed him off with some excuse or told him he was ‘fine’ or sometimes snapped at him to stop fussing and leave it. 

Aaron had been distant and withdrawn for a while. He’d been trying to put on a good front, but Robert knew him too well. He could see through Aaron’s pretending and false smiles. He just knew there was something wrong. He desperately wanted Aaron to talk to him; to share whatever it was that was troubling him. But Aaron was refusing to open up: he’d closed himself off from Robert’s concern and was obviously trying to deal with whatever it was in his own way and in his own time. Robert wanted to keep pushing, but he was scared that if he pushed too hard, he’d send Aaron running away from him altogether and he couldn’t bear even the idea of that. He wouldn’t push. Whatever Aaron was going through, he obviously needed some time and Robert would respect that, no matter how much he wanted to help. He hated feeling useless, like he couldn’t help. He hated knowing that something was troubling Aaron but he couldn’t do anything about it. Robert liked to fix things: he liked to have a solution to a problem. But he was beginning to think he couldn’t solve this one. 

He’d tried. He’d tried to talk to Aaron; tried to be there for him; tried to take his mind off whatever was wrong. But he felt like he was missing something and nothing he tried actually made any difference. 

It had started when Aaron had been ill at the business event last month. Robert had never seen Aaron so out of sorts and he’d been really worried about him. After that, he’d thought Aaron was recovered but it hadn’t taken long to see that he wasn’t back to his old self at all. 

Robert was beginning to worry that maybe Aaron was seriously ill and he was just keeping it from Robert, but there were no signs of illness apart from him being quieter than usual and the fact that he seemed to get lost in his own head so much these days. 

All he could do was keep reminding Aaron that he was there for him if he needed him and try not to feel too hurt when Aaron brushed him off again or snapped at him for checking up on him. 

Earlier in the week, he’d thought they’d turned a corner. Aaron had surprised him at the office and taken him out for lunch, and Robert had been delighted by the gesture. He’d really thought they were back on track. But even while they were sitting at their table in the restaurant, Aaron had seemed distracted and Robert couldn’t help but feel frustrated that they were going around in circles. It had been Aaron’s idea - Robert hadn’t forced him to come to meet him - and it seemed he didn’t actually even want to be there. It had been like his mind was elsewhere the whole time and Robert had gone back to work feeling confused and sad and weary. 

Fortunately, in some ways, Robert was busy with work. It wasn’t like he had many weeks when it was quiet, but things had really started to get going with his latest deal and he couldn’t afford to take his eye off the ball. He had Thompson exactly where he wanted him: one more meeting would probably have him signing on the dotted line and Robert sealing his latest multi-million pound contract. He was buzzing about it. It had been a while since something this huge had come along, but all being well, it was going to be a done deal by the end of the following week. While he’d changed a lot, and realised that money definitely wasn’t everything, he still loved the thrill of closing a new deal, especially when he’d worked so hard to secure it. It had been a tough slog getting to this point: Thompson was well-known for driving a hard bargain and Robert had known that he needed to be one step ahead of him at every stage of their negotiations. It had been an epic process and Thompson had been as expected throughout - a businessman looking to secure the best deal for his own interests and not caring for anything else. Over the last few weeks though, he’d been even harder to deal with than usual. Something had altered and he’d seemed even more keen to string Robert along and change his plans at the last minute. He’d kept Robert and his team guessing and it had caused a few stressful days at the office. In some ways it was extra hassle that Robert could have done without alongside his worry about Aaron, but in another way, he was glad for the distraction. He’d tried not to get too wrapped up in it and lose focus on what really mattered to him, but he’d been busier than usual and had been putting in some extra hours working. 

When he let himself into the apartment after a long, tough day, he wanted nothing more than to collapse onto the sofa with a takeaway and Aaron by his side.

“Hey,” he greeted as he hung his jacket up on the hooks by the door. 

“You’re late tonight,” Aaron said quietly as he looked up at Robert from his seat at the table. 

Robert glanced at him quickly as he slid his shoes off. Not exactly the welcome home he’d hoped for. Then he looked at his watch: he was nearly two hours later than normal, but Aaron knew how much he had to do at the moment. “Oh, yeah. Suppose I just got carried away at work. Got a lot on.” 

Aaron blew out a breath that sounded frustrated and Robert looked at him again. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. He couldn’t keep the slight edge from his voice. He’d had a long day: for some reason - it didn’t even seem possible - Thompson had suddenly been even more awkward all day and the result was more work for Robert, more negotiating, more meetings, and generally more stress. He was exhausted and feeling on edge and just generally not in the mood for anything else to go wrong. 

“I’ve got to go to the shelter soon,” Aaron told him. 

He sounded weird and Robert knew something was wrong, but, for once, he didn’t ask what it was. He was tired. He was frustrated with asking Aaron what was going on and getting nothing back. He was scared that maybe he didn’t want to know the answer. 

“Just...” Aaron continued before he cleared his throat and tried again. “Just won’t get to see much of you tonight.”

Irritated, Robert sighed heavily and wandered towards the kitchen. He needed a drink, preferably something strong. 

“I can’t win with you,” he muttered under his breath. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Aaron called from behind him. 

Robert turned in the doorway and looked at him. Aaron had stood up and was watching him with the strangest look on his face that Robert couldn’t hope to understand and, in that moment, he didn’t want to. He didn’t have the energy to keep trying and getting nothing back. He’d had a long day and maybe all he wanted was for Aaron to actually support him. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Robert said. “Maybe just that you clearly want some space from me to figure out whatever it is that’s going on with you. You don’t want me bothering you about it all the time. But then when I’m late home, because I’ve been working my arse off, that’s still not right and that’s when you decide you do want me around. So maybe I can’t win because I don’t know what’s going on with you and you won’t tell me and maybe you want me to be a bloody mindreader but I’m not, so I guess I’m screwed. Might as well not bother seeing as I’m wrong either way.”

Aaron blinked at him and Robert could see that he was upset. The tears shining in his eyes almost made him cave and go to Aaron, pull him into a hug and apologise for being a knob, but he was frustrated and worried and tired and scared that Aaron was slipping away from him and he didn’t know what to do anymore. And beneath all that he was just a bit fed up of feeling like Aaron didn’t trust him enough to share whatever was wrong. And that hurt. 

As he stared back at Aaron, he wondered if he might consider cancelling his shift at the shelter and staying at home with Robert so that they could sit down and actually talk. But as he opened his mouth to suggest it, Aaron shook his head slightly and moved away from the table. He wouldn’t meet Robert’s eyes.

“I need to get going,” he said quietly. 

Robert blew out another frustrated sigh. Even after what he’d said, Aaron still wasn’t willing to talk to him. He shook his head and turned to go into the kitchen. 

“I’ll see you later,” Aaron called from the front door. His voice sounded wobbly and Robert knew he was upset. 

“See ya,” he called back.

The door closed softly behind Aaron as he left and Robert leant back against the worktop in the kitchen. He couldn’t remember a time when either of them had left the apartment without giving the other a kiss or a hug or sharing an ‘I love you’ or even just a soft goodbye. He rubbed his hands over his face and tried not to think too hard about what that meant. 

Pouring himself a glass of wine, he decided to get his laptop out. He had some work to get on with.

***

Robert had done a few hours work while picking at a Chinese takeaway he’d ordered in and then decided to head to bed. More often than not, he stayed up for Aaron when he’d been working late at the shelter, but he didn’t think it would be appreciated that night, and he also thought that maybe it would send the message to Aaron that they couldn’t go on like they were. He knew it was petty and mean and he was being a git, but he’d had enough and, for once, he didn’t want to wait for Aaron to come to him. 

He didn’t think he’d even manage to get to sleep with everything that was going through his head so he was surprised when he was stirred awake by a gentle hand stroking over his arm and a warm body pressed up against his back. 

Gasping a little at the surprise of it, he turned his head to squint over his shoulder in the darkness of the bedroom.

“Aaron?” he muttered. 

“It’s alright,” Aaron replied quietly before he leant closer and pressed his lips softly against Robert’s. 

Immediately feeling more aware of what was happening, Robert rolled further onto his back and allowed Aaron to deepen the kiss. He felt a hand trailing down his chest and reached his own hand up to hold the back of Aaron’s head as they kissed. 

“I love you,” Aaron breathed against his lips as he pulled away just a fraction.

Robert blinked up at him. Any frustration and irritation from earlier was gone: he just wanted to be with Aaron. He loved him so much. “I love you too...so much,” he added. 

Aaron drew in a breath that sounded a little shuddery but then his hand dipped beneath the waistband of Robert’s boxers, his fingers curling around his hardening cock. Robert moaned into Aaron’s mouth and then turned onto his side so he could reach down and palm at Aaron’s erection. He wasn’t wearing any boxers so he’d obviously climbed into bed with one thing in mind and Robert wasn’t going to complain about the interruption to his sleep. Wriggling out of his own underwear, Robert tried to keep his lips connected to Aaron’s - he could feel the same sense of desperation from Aaron as they kissed urgently and messily.

They grasped at one another, hands and mouths greedily seeking more contact, more skin to touch and taste, and Robert briefly wondered where the desperation had come from. They’d always been passionate, unable to keep their hands off one another most of the time, but this felt different somehow. But like so many things recently, he didn’t understand why. 

Panting, Robert let his head fall back a little so that Aaron could kiss his throat and he moaned again. 

“Robert,” Aaron breathed against his damp skin, “I want you. Please.”

Robert groaned low in his throat and pulled Aaron back up to kiss him again. Then he threw the covers further down the bed and leant over to grab the lube from his bedside table. 

When they were lying side by side again, Aaron draped his leg over Robert’s hip so that Robert could press his finger against his hole. As Robert worked his fingers inside him, Aaron gasped and pressed his lips against Robert’s skin, licking and nipping and sucking on his sensitive flesh. He dragged his mouth away and cried out as Robert’s fingers twisted in a certain way and Robert tried to see his face in the darkness. His eyes had adjusted now, but he couldn’t make everything out. 

“Good?” he murmured as he curled his fingers slightly like he had before.

Aaron writhed against him and gasped out, “Yes...so good.”

Robert pulled his hand away and Aaron pushed against his shoulders until he was lying on his back. It was a surprise, but a pleasant one, when Aaron swung his leg over Robert’s hips to straddle him. He reached between them and ran his hand over Robert’s erection, coating it with lube before he lifted up on his knees and guided Robert’s cock to his arse as he lowered himself down onto it. 

It took a few rolling thrusts to ease himself down, and Robert just gripped Aaron’s hips as he moved, resisting the urge to buck up into the tight heat and marvelling at the wonderful sight above him. In this position, he could see Aaron more clearly. It was a clear night and the moonlight was doing its best to filter through the curtains, and with Aaron sitting in his lap, Robert could see his face and how his body moved. He ran his hands over Aaron’s thighs and then back to his hips to hold him as Aaron began to grind his hips in slow circles. 

Aaron folded forwards over him so they could kiss as he rocked himself on Robert’s cock and Robert slid his hands to squeeze Aaron’s arse as he pushed his own hips upwards to meet Aaron’s movements. 

They needed this, Robert realised. They’d been distant from one another, for whatever reason, for weeks now, and they needed this to remind them both of how much they loved one another, how much they needed one another, how much they belonged together. The physical connection and the emotional one. 

Suddenly, Aaron buried his face in the crook of Robert’s neck and drew in a deep, shuddering breath, and while Robert always enjoyed having the skin there kissed or sucked on, he knew that wasn’t what was happening. Aaron was still moving over him, rolling his hips steadily, but Robert was sure he could feel a dampness on his skin that wasn’t anything to do with their combined heat.

“Aaron?” he asked quietly. He’d stilled his own movements, but Aaron was still grinding down on him. 

“Aaron?” he tried again. 

A soft, almost inaudible sob, confirmed Robert’s fears: Aaron was crying. 

Rubbing his hands over Aaron’s back gently, Robert took him carefully by the shoulders and forced him upright. Aaron tried to resist and he wouldn’t look at Robert when he’d been pushed into a sitting position. Robert reached over and flicked the bedside lamp on so that he could actually see Aaron properly and his heart ached when he saw the sadness on his face. 

“Aaron,” Robert said quietly. “What’s wrong?” Lifting his hand, he gently smoothed his thumb over Aaron’s cheekbone, collecting a tear as he went. His heart was pounding in his chest for an entirely different reason now: he was terrified he’d done something wrong or hurt Aaron in some way. He’d never forgive himself if he had. 

Aaron hung his head and shook it slightly. He still wouldn’t look at Robert. 

“Have I done something wrong?” Robert asked quietly, afraid to hear the answer. 

That caused Aaron to look up at him, his eyes wide and wet. “No,” he said immediately. “No, it’s not your fault.”

Robert was about to ask what wasn’t his fault, but Aaron spoke again. “I’m sorry,” he cried bitterly. “I’m so sorry.” He leant forward and buried his face in Robert’s neck again. 

Robert had no idea that Aaron had been so upset about their argument earlier. Or maybe he was apologising for how distant he’d been lately. Either way it made Robert feel awful that he’d been so hard on him, that he’d not realised how upset Aaron was about the whole thing. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said quietly. His arms tightened across Aaron’s back as he spoke, pulling him close and letting him know he wasn’t ever going to let him go. “It’s going to be alright. I’ve got you.”

He felt Aaron shudder in his arms and it felt like he was trying to bury himself even further against him, but he didn’t care, he’d hold him like that all night if that was what Aaron needed. 

“I love you, Robert,” Aaron murmured against his neck. 

“I know,” Robert whispered. “I love you too.” 

Drawing in a deep breath, Aaron pushed himself up and looked down at Robert. He was still straddling his hips but both of their cocks had softened while they’d been talking. 

“Why don’t we get cleaned up and get some sleep?” Robert suggested. “Things will look better in the morning.”

Aaron shook his head quickly. “No, please Robert...please, I need this.”

Robert wasn’t sure: it didn’t seem like Aaron needed sex at all, more that he needed a hug and a good night’s sleep.

Leaning forwards, Aaron captured his lips in a kiss, licking his way inside Robert’s mouth as he ran his hands down Robert’s sides. He ground his hips down against Robert and circled his arse over Robert’s cock and unsurprisingly the friction brought Robert’s erection back in full force. 

“Are you sure?” Robert asked as Aaron took hold of him again and guided him back towards his hole. 

Aaron nodded. “Yes, I need this - I need you,” he said before his eyelids fluttered closed as Robert pushed inside him again. 

Despite the interruption, they managed to continue where they’d left off and it didn’t take long before Aaron was crying out with each thrust of Robert’s hips. Robert gripped his hips tightly, his feet planted onto the mattress to allow him to match each of Aaron’s movements. Reaching out, Robert took Aaron’s cock in his hand and stroked it firmly as Aaron groaned and began to shudder. Aaron’s eyes opened and he looked down at Robert for a long moment as he came, and then he squeezed his eyes closed and threw his head back as he panted and gasped in pleasure. 

Robert had watched him closely, not wanting to see any more signs of distress on his face, but now all he could see was bliss and it sent him hurtling towards his own release. He thrust into Aaron a few more times, loving the sound of Aaron still moaning above him and how tightly his arse was still clenching around him, and then he came with a shout of Aaron’s name. 

Aaron collapsed on top of him, panting heavily, then rolled onto his side, resting his head on Robert’s shoulder as he buried his face into Robert’s neck again. They both stayed like that for a long time, neither of them seeming to want to move. Robert’s arm held Aaron close and Aaron’s fingers traced patterns across Robert’s chest. 

Eventually, they had to move, and Aaron silently stood up from the bed and looked down at Robert. 

“Come for a shower?” he asked quietly. 

The whole evening had been a bit surreal and Robert still wasn’t sure why Aaron had been so upset, but he wasn’t going to turn down the chance to spend every moment with the man he loved, especially after things had been so strained lately. 

Clambering out of bed, he took Aaron’s hand that he’d held out to him and allowed himself to be led into the en-suite. 

***

Staring at the screen of his laptop didn’t seem to offer any solutions. It was all he’d done since he’d arrived at the office that morning. He hadn’t achieved anything, hadn’t taken in any of the information from any of the emails he’d opened, and hadn’t been able to focus at all. 

After their shower, Robert and Aaron had got back into bed together and eventually drifted off. That morning, Robert had woken up with his alarm and half-expected Aaron to be missing from their bed. Something was just niggling at him that things weren’t right and that Aaron was slipping away from him. He was sure he’d even had a dream that Aaron was missing and he couldn’t find him anywhere, and after the events of the previous evening, it had left him feeling unsettled. 

Aaron had only just woken up when Robert was ready to leave for work. When he’d stepped into the room to say goodbye, Aaron had looked startled and panicked and he’d jumped out of bed and rushed over to Robert. 

“I slept through the alarm,” Aaron had said and he’d looked upset about it.

“Doesn’t matter,” Robert had replied quietly. “You obviously needed the sleep, and you don’t have work until this afternoon.” 

He’d lifted his hand to gently stroke the side of Aaron’s head and he’d leaned into the touch, letting his eyes fall closed.

“Aaron...” he’d started, but Aaron had cut him off by leaning up and pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Have a good day,” he’d said and he’d smiled the strangest little smile at Robert. 

Robert had hesitated. He’d felt weird. He’d wanted to talk to Aaron properly.

“I love you,” Aaron had added.

“I’ll see you later,” Robert had replied. “You know, I love you too.”

“I know,” Aaron had said with a slight nod and a tiny smile on his face. 

“See you later,” Robert had told him before he’d turned and walked away. 

For some reason, sitting at his desk, he kept going over the conversation. He felt restless; he couldn’t settle in his own skin.

Eventually, he’d had enough. He buzzed through to Leyla and told her to cancel his meetings for the rest of the day. He had so much work to do, but it didn’t matter. Sorting things out with Aaron was more important: they needed to talk. He’d waited before when he’d known he should have tried harder to sort things out and Aaron had disappeared from his life that time. He wasn’t going to let anything like that happen again - he wasn’t going to lose Aaron. Whatever was going on, Robert was determined to find out and do whatever it took to make it right. 

***

When he got back to the apartment, he let himself in and immediately looked around the living room. The TV was off and there was no sign of Aaron. He assumed he hadn’t gone out because his car was in the building’s parking garage downstairs. His heart had been thudding in his chest since he’d left work: he’d been in a hurry to get home, but he didn’t even know why. It was still pounding now and he felt indescribably odd. 

Silently, he made his way towards the bedroom. He stepped into the doorway and stood watching Aaron. He had his back to the door as he busied himself with something on the bed.

Robert felt like his heart dropped to his stomach as he realised what Aaron was doing. 

“You’re leaving me?” he managed to ask, his voice low and rough and disbelieving. 

Aaron spun around, eyes wide, and gaped at Robert. Briefly, he glanced back to the large, open hold-all on the bed and the pile of his clothes next to it. Then his eyes met Robert’s and he looked like he might cry. His mouth opened and closed a few times but he didn’t speak. 

“Aaron?” Robert asked as he took a step further into the room. “What the hell is going on?”

Aaron looked utterly panicked, like everything was falling apart and Robert couldn’t help but bitterly think that it was - he’d clearly disrupted Aaron’s plan to get away before Robert caught him. 

“Robert...I...I...” Aaron stuttered and struggled to find the words and Robert shook his head angrily. 

“What, Aaron?” he snapped. “What do you want to say to me?” Robert could feel his own panic rising. This couldn’t be happening. What had he done wrong? What could possibly have happened to make Aaron so desperate to run away from him like this? 

Aaron had hardly taken his eyes off Robert the whole time he’d been standing there, except to look guiltily at the bag on the bed. “I...I don’t...I can’t explain,” he managed to say. 

“Oh, that’s alright then!” Robert shouted as he threw his hands up in the air. Aaron flinched at his eruption and Robert hated that reaction. He’d never done anything to make Aaron afraid of him. He didn’t deserve this now. “Were you even going to say anything? Or were you just going to leave me without even saying goodbye?”

Aaron shook his head. The tears were pooling in his eyes looking like they’d spill over at any moment, but Robert couldn’t comfort him - he didn’t know how to, he suddenly realised. He wasn’t sure if he even knew the man standing before him anymore.

“It’s not...it’s not like that,” Aaron protested. “I was...” he swallowed thickly. “I was going to leave you a note.”

“A note?” Robert echoed angrily. “Well, that makes it all alright then. That would’ve made me feel so much better about finding you gone.”

“I would’ve got in touch - I promise. I just...I thought it was for the best.”

Robert shook his head angrily. He paced across the room as Aaron chewed on his lip as he watched him. 

“I know things haven’t been right for a while now,” Robert said. The anger was leaving him almost as quickly as it had come. He just felt lost and scared and so confused about what was happening. It had to be something he’d done wrong, but he didn’t know what it was. “If...if you’ve been looking for an excuse to leave me, you just had to say - you don’t have to sneak around.” He paused then and stood still. He stared across the room, the space between them, and his eyes met Aaron’s. He could feel his own chin wobbling as his emotions threatened to take over. He couldn’t do this: he couldn’t face Aaron leaving him like this without even knowing why. Why had Aaron given up on him? On them? Why had he fallen out of love with Robert so suddenly? What had he done wrong? 

He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “If you think I could handle coming home to an empty apartment and you just disappearing again, you’re so wrong - you don’t know me at all. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, Aaron. If you want to go...if you don’t want me anymore...just tell me. Please just tell me. At least then I’ll know the truth.”

Tears were pouring down Aaron’s face and Robert could see that he was shaking. And Robert felt the same. His own vision was swimming with tears. He half-expected Aaron to grab his bag and walk out of the door and, if he did, Robert wasn’t sure he’d ever get over it. 

“I don’t want to go! Of course I don’t want to leave you!” Aaron said desperately. “I don’t...I don’t have a choice.”

That stopped everything for a moment. All the whirling thoughts in Robert’s head froze and he focused on those words. He scrubbed at his eyes to clear the tears. He took a step closer to Aaron. 

“What do you mean?”

Aaron’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “I can’t,” he said quietly. “I can’t.”

Robert took another step towards him. “What do you mean? Aaron? Tell me.”

“Robert...I can’t. I’m...you’ll hate me.”

Robert frowned and shook his head. “I could never hate you. But I can’t let you walk out without knowing what’s going on. You just said you don’t want to leave me. So there must be something making you think you have to leave.”

Aaron lowered his eyes and hung his head. He looked like he was ashamed and Robert hated it. He closed the distance between them and stood in front of Aaron. He didn’t touch him. 

“Let me help you,” he whispered. 

“You can’t,” Aaron replied and he sounded utterly broken. 

“Aaron...look at me, please.”

It seemed to take a massive effort, but slowly Aaron lifted his head. He looked devastated and scared and Robert just wanted to hold him. 

“Whatever it is - whatever has happened - I’ll listen and I’ll help you. I would do anything for you: you know that. I love you - more than anything, more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. Please...please don’t leave me. Let me help you,” he repeated. 

Aaron’s face crumpled and he collapsed against Robert crying bitterly. He wrapped his arms around Robert’s back as Robert did the same. Robert pulled him close and held on tight. He wasn’t ever letting go. Moments before he’d been terrified that Aaron was going to disappear from his life forever: he wasn’t letting that happen. He meant it: he’d do whatever it took to keep Aaron with him. 

It took a long time for Aaron to calm down and get his tears and his breathing under control. Robert had stood there holding him the entire time, willing his own heart rate to even out and his mind to stop panicking. Somehow Robert managed to manoeuvre him to the edge of the bed so they could sit down and then he waited for Aaron to be ready to talk. He kept hold of his hand, rubbing his thumb over Aaron’s knuckles as they sat in silence. 

Eventually, Aaron looked up at him. His eyes were red and puffy, he looked on the verge of tears again, but Robert just squeezed his hand and offered him a reassuring smile. 

“Talk to me, Aaron. Tell me what’s happened,” he said quietly. 

Aaron sniffed and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his top. He looked at Robert pitifully. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I...I never wanted this to happen. I tried...I tried to make it go away. But I couldn’t and...and I thought I had to go because it was for the best. But I didn’t want to. Please believe me - I didn’t want to leave you.”

Robert lifted his free hand and cupped the side of Aaron’s face gently. “Aaron...tell me what happened,” he repeated quietly. 

Drawing in a deep breath, Aaron began to speak. “When we went to that event and I said I wasn’t feeling well, I wasn’t really ill.” He was watching Robert like he was waiting for some sort of negative reaction already. Robert had no idea where this story was going, but from Aaron’s behaviour and obvious distress, he knew he wasn’t going to like it. “I had to get away because...because there was a man there...someone that I had worked for before.”

Robert felt his jaw clench a little at the words. It was a shock, but he supposed it shouldn’t have been really. He wasn’t he only wealthy man who’d ever gone looking for company before. That didn’t make it any easier to imagine. 

“Okay,” he said quietly. He still didn’t understand where this was leading.

Aaron swallowed. “The man...he...he asked me if I’d go with him for the night...after I’d finished with you.”

That caused Robert’s whole body to flush with heat. The anger rushed through him but he tried to stay calm. He couldn’t afford to upset Aaron now he was finally talking.

“I told him I didn’t do that anymore and he started getting nasty. He was saying all this horrible stuff about me, and about you and us. I told him no. I told him to leave me alone but he wouldn’t accept it. He threatened me and he said he’d ruin you if I didn’t do what he wanted.”

“Oh my god, Aaron,” Robert said as he shook his head. “Did he...did he force you?” His heart was racing again.

Aaron shook his head. “No, no. He didn’t make me do anything...but he basically told me I had no choice.”

Robert drew in a breath: relieved that Aaron hadn’t been assaulted, but fuming and not knowing how to deal with the information. All he knew was that Aaron was the victim in all of this and he needed Robert to be strong. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve known something was wrong. I shouldn’t have made you go to the bloody event in the first place.” He pulled Aaron in for another hug and held Aaron close for a long while. He needed to hold onto him to calm himself down as much as Aaron needed the comfort. He was going to make whoever was responsible pay for this. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked as he leaned back and looked at Aaron. 

Shaking his head, Aaron looked down at where their hands were joined again in Robert’s lap. “I couldn’t,” he told him quietly. His voice was wobbly like he might start crying again. “I was ashamed. I thought...I thought you’d hate me.”

“I couldn’t ever hate you,” Robert argued immediately. 

“But it was going to ruin everything. And I couldn’t be responsible for damaging your business anymore.” Aaron had been looking down at his knees as he spoke, refusing to meet Robert’s eyes. 

“What are you talking about?” Robert asked. He was trying to keep his voice steady, keep himself calm. Something awful had crept into his mind and he suddenly had a horrible feeling he knew where the conversation was heading. 

Miserably, Aaron looked up at him. “He said he’d ruin you. Said your reputation would be destroyed if everyone found out about me.”

“Aaron, who was it?” 

It was obvious that Aaron didn’t want to say it, that he was afraid of what would happen once Robert knew the truth. Robert could feel himself practically vibrating with anger as he waited. 

“Richard Thompson,” Aaron whispered, almost like the name itself was something to be feared. 

Robert was sure everything went black and silent around him for a moment. He couldn’t think of anything beyond the name of the man who had threatened Aaron, tried to blackmail him into bed, and nearly cost him the most important person in his life. Pure hot rage flooded through him and he knew his whole body had stiffened and pulled taut with the knowledge. How dare that man even think of going anywhere near Aaron? How dare he try to use him like that? How dare he be making business plans with Robert while at the same time threatening his boyfriend? 

Only the feeling of Aaron pulling his hand away from Robert’s and him quickly standing up brought Robert out of his rage-induced catatonia. He blinked and looked up at Aaron who was backing away from him, nervously looking around the room. He was shaking and his eyes were full of unshed tears again.

“Aaron,” Robert said quietly. He knew that Aaron was afraid and he hated it. He hated knowing he’d been too blind to realise that something so awful was happening and he hated that he was making it worse with his reaction to the news.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said again. “I’m sorry that I’ve messed everything up.”

“You haven’t,” Robert immediately argued, but it was as if Aaron hadn’t heard him because he just continued talking. 

“I should’ve told you but I was scared. I didn’t want you to hate me. And now...” he gulped as he tried to drag air into his lungs. “Now, you hate me anyway.” He broke off and sobbed, dragging his hands down his face. “I don’t blame you. Of course you’re angry with me. You must be disgusted. And that’s why...that’s why I have to go. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’ve ruined everything - my past...it’s ruined everything. I’m sorry,” he sobbed again. 

Robert jumped to his feet and rushed to him. He pulled him into a tight embrace despite the fact that Aaron tried to resist. He was muttering about not deserving it and Robert being furious, and Robert could feel his own heart aching with every word. 

“Aaron, this isn’t your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for,” Robert said as he held Aaron tightly against him. He could feel Aaron’s arms wrapped around his back, clinging on desperately. 

“I tried to make him leave us alone,” Aaron mumbled as he pressed his face against Robert’s shoulder. “But he wouldn’t. I thought he’d forget all about it, but then I saw him at your office. He threatened me again and I knew he meant it. I didn’t have any choice.”

Robert drew in another deep breath. He wanted to find Thompson and have it out with him, but he knew that wouldn’t help. And it certainly wasn’t what was going to help Aaron right now.

He moved them back to the bed and they sat down on the edge again. Aaron looked completely drained by the whole experience and Robert cursed himself for not realising sooner that something was so terribly wrong. He should’ve seen it; he should’ve done something. He should’ve tried harder to get Aaron to open up. It hurt that Aaron hadn’t felt like he could tell him the truth. It hurt that he’d rather run away from Robert than talk to him. But he knew he couldn’t dwell on that now. He needed to help Aaron and he needed to make sure any ideas about leaving were out of his head. They could deal with this together. 

He swallowed thickly. This had to be Aaron’s choice but he was scared of what he might decide to do. “Aaron, do you want to leave?”

Aaron looked up at him and shook his head immediately. “Of course not. I just didn’t know what else to do.” He paused and he looked so lost. “He told me I could make it all go away if I just slept with him again but I couldn’t do that. I’d never do that to you and I didn’t want to anyway. Of course I couldn’t. But I didn’t know what else to do. I thought...I thought if I left for a while, he’d forget all about me. I thought he’d leave us alone.”

“I wish you’d told me what was going on,” Robert sighed. 

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said again. “I just...I knew he was your next big client and the deal meant so much to you. After what happened with the shelter and Whites, I couldn’t cost you another contract.”

Robert looked at him and frowned. The words felt like a slap in the face: Aaron obviously meant that he hadn’t wanted to risk Robert’s business but it also meant that Aaron still thought that all Robert cared about was money. He had thought that Robert would be happier to lose  Aaron than lose out on another deal. After everything they’d been through that hurt so much. Aaron didn’t think Robert had changed, not really. He didn’t think that Robert would choose him. 

He couldn’t let that pain show though. He had to sort this out, had to get them out of this mess, and then, afterwards maybe, he’d have time to think about what it all meant. 

“Aaron, you mean more to me than any deal. I’d give it all up for you.” He’d said it before, but obviously Aaron didn’t believe it. He needed to tell him again even if Aaron would never truly accept it. “I love you.”

Aaron blinked at him and, for the first time since Robert had got home, a tiny smile tugged at his lips. “I love you too,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry I’ve made such a mess of everything.”

Robert shook his head. “You haven’t. None of this is your fault. I’d never want you to be in that position just to protect my business. You don’t deserve to be put in that situation. Thompson,” he sucked in a breath at the name, “Thompson is scum. He’s a sick bastard and there’s no way I’d want to go into business with someone like him now I know what he’s capable of. The deal’s off.”

Aaron looked at him with wide eyes. 

“But he can’t get away with this. And I’m not going to let him think he can threaten you and walk away. I’m not having him holding this over us. He doesn’t hold all the cards anymore.”

“What are you going to do?” Aaron asked quietly. 

“I don’t know,” Robert replied. “And right now, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is you’re here and you’re staying.” He squeezed Aaron’s hand and smiled softly at him. “You are staying, aren’t you?” he asked quietly. 

Aaron nodded and then more tears trickled out of his eyes and down his face. 

Robert pulled him back in for another hug. He could feel Aaron’s hands gripping the material of his jacket as he held him and cried softly. He pressed a kiss to the side of Aaron’s head and squeezed his eyes closed. 

It didn’t matter what it cost him: Aaron was the only thing that mattered. 


	6. 6

Aaron thought he might be sick: he was so nervous. 

This plan that they’d come up with had sounded so straight-forward when they’d sat at their dining table and discussed it - and Aaron had been more than willing to go along with it if it meant Richard Thompson would be out of their lives once and for all, and if he’d get what was coming to him - but now he was faced with the reality of it, he was worried. Worried about what might go wrong; worried that it wouldn’t work out like they thought it would; worried that even after all this, he and Robert wouldn’t be okay. 

He chewed on his lower lip as he stood in Robert’s massive office checking the time on his phone. 

Robert was also twitchy as he sat at his desk. He kept glancing up at Aaron until suddenly he pushed himself up out of his chair and rounded the desk. 

“You sure about this?” he asked as he took Aaron’s hands in his own. He was watching him closely, obviously looking for any signs of distress. “You don’t have to do it, you know.”

Aaron drew in a deep breath. “No, I want to. I want him to know I’m not scared and he doesn’t have any power over me. He’s not ruining this for us.”

Robert nodded once. He looked determined but on edge. “I’ll be right through that door.” He said as he gestured over his shoulder to the secondary door leading out of his office directly into the conference suite. “If you need me or if you change your mind, you just need to shout and I’ll be right there.”

A buzz on Robert’s office phone alerted them that someone wanted to speak to him. He gave Aaron a tight smile and squeezed his hands before he walked around the desk again and picked up the phone.

“Yes?” he asked bluntly. 

Aaron almost winced at how stressed he sounded just with that one, simple word. He could hear Priya’s voice through the receiver. 

“Mr Sugden, I have Mr Thompson here in reception for your next meeting,” she told him. 

Robert visibly tensed. “Give me two minutes and bring him through please, Priya.”

He hung up the phone and stared at Aaron as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. Aaron stared back. He could feel his heart racing in his chest. 

Robert fiddled about with his phone and then placed it back on his desk, before he looked up at Aaron again. He made his way back round the desk and stood in front of Aaron. 

“It’ll be okay,” he said.

Aaron blinked at him and nodded once. 

“Are you sure...” Robert started but Aaron cut him off. He couldn’t keep going over it: he needed to do this. 

“I’m sure,” he said firmly. 

Robert blew out a breath and stepped away from him. He moved across the room and opened the door through to the conference suite. In any other circumstances, Aaron might have laughed at the ridiculousness of Robert hiding inside his own offices, but the moment wasn’t one for humour. He nodded at Robert as Robert pulled the door closed behind him and disappeared from view.

Aaron was alone. 

He blew out a breath, much like Robert had done only moments before, and went to stand in front of the huge window that looked out over the city. Briefly, he glanced down at the traffic and hustle and bustle below, knowing that everyone down there was completely oblivious to his turmoil as they got on with their own lives, before he turned around and faced the door. For some reason, he smoothed down the front of his jumper. Maybe it was just something to stop his hands shaking. He cleared his throat. He needed to put his game-face on now. He needed to be the person who had stood on the side of the street for years waiting for a John to come his way; he needed to be confident; he needed to be the person who didn’t take shit from anyone. 

Richard Thompson had tried to ruin everything that mattered to him. He’d threatened Aaron’s happiness and his life with Robert. He’d threatened Robert. When it had first happened, Aaron had been left floundering, crippled by his fear of what would happen and his own self-doubt. Thompson had held all the power and Aaron had been terrified of what he’d do with it. But when he’d eventually told Robert the whole sorry story, he’d realised he wasn’t alone and Robert still loved him despite all of that and despite his past. He was better than that now. Knowing Robert was on his side gave him the strength he needed to stand up to Thompson and do this. He only wished he’d realised sooner that he could put his faith in Robert. He knew he’d messed up by keeping it from him; he knew he must have hurt Robert when that was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid. But that was an issue to be dealt with another day. Right now, he had to deal with the man who’d just walked through the door with Priya. 

Priya looked a little surprised to see him standing there with no sign of Robert, but she just smiled politely. 

“Mr Thompson is here for his two o’clock with Mr Sugden,” she told Aaron. 

Thompson’s eyes had widened in genuine shock when he’d seen Aaron, but then his smile had turned lascivious almost instantly and it made the hairs on the back of Aaron’s neck stand on end. 

“Thanks, Priya,” Aaron replied. “Robert’s just popped to get some paperwork. He said he’d be back as soon as.”

Priya looked a little bewildered but she smiled at Aaron again and then at Thompson before she left the room and closed the door behind her. 

Aaron’s heart thudded with the click of the door. 

Thompson took a few steps into the room, but Aaron didn’t move. He watched as Thompson’s eyes dragged over his body and repressed the shudder he felt. 

“Aaron,” Thompson said as he looked him up and down. “What a pleasant surprise.”

Aaron stared at him. No matter how much he might like to, it was impossible to pretend that he wasn’t intimidated by the man before him. He’d nearly destroyed everything that Aaron cared about with his sick games and they weren’t free of him yet. 

He cleared his throat. “Robert mentioned that you were coming into the office today.”

Thompson’s eyes lit up at his words. There was a nasty glint in them like he’d already decided he knew what Aaron was implying with his statement and he was extremely pleased by it. 

“So you thought you’d pop down to join us for some negotiations then?” he asked snidely. 

Aaron’s jaw clenched at the words and the innuendo. It felt like his skin was crawling and, even though he knew he wasn’t going to be giving Thompson what he wanted, he still felt as repulsed by him. He supposed it helped with the act he was having to put on.

“You know why I’m here. Why I had to meet with you,” he managed to say. 

Thompson grinned at him and raised an eyebrow. “I take it you’ve decided to accept my offer.”

Aaron scowled at him. “I’d hardly call it an offer,” he said. “You haven’t given me any choice.”

Thompson scoffed at his words and waved his hand through the air like Aaron was being daft. “Of course you have a choice, Aaron. I made it perfectly clear to you how this would work.”

Aaron continued to glare at him. “Yes, perfectly clear,” he repeated. “Do what you say or you’d ruin Robert? Wasn’t that it?”

Thompson barked out a laugh. “I wondered if he’d come round to the idea of loaning you out for the night, but clearly you’ve just decided to be a naughty boy again, haven’t you? Not that that bothers me - I like a wild one.”

Aaron winced at the words. It made him sick: the man before him made him sick. 

“So how does this work?” he forced himself to ask. “I do what you say and then what? This isn’t happening again. How can I trust you that this will be over? That you won’t hassle me or Robert again?”

Thompson shrugged like he didn’t care in the slightest. “All I want, Aaron, is for us to relive some of the good times.” He said it with a seedy grin on his face that made Aaron want to punch him. The man was a creep. “I see that Robert is quite chipper these days, so I can only assume you’re servicing him to the best of your abilities.”

Aaron’s blood boiled at the words. “Shut up!” he snapped. “Don’t you dare talk about us like that.”

Again Thompson laughed. “You’re much more talkative these days, Aaron. When I picked you up before you weren’t nearly so chatty. It was all about the business for you. Maybe that’s why Robert likes you so much.”

Aaron’s hands curled into fists and his jaw clenched. 

“Better keep that temper in check,” Thompson taunted him. “Don’t think it would go down too well with Robert if he walked in to find you losing your cool with his latest client. He’d wonder what was going on, don’t you think? And if you spoil our little arrangement now, there’ll be nothing to stop me ruining Robert and his business. I’ve told you, Aaron, if you don’t do exactly what I say, if you don’t sleep with me like I’ve asked you to do so nicely, I will destroy him and, trust me, when he sinks, he’ll drag you down with him. The fancy lifestyle will be gone and I can’t see you hanging around to pick up the scraps with him. You’ll be back on the streets before you can blink and he’ll be joining you. Maybe you’ll work the same street corner. Maybe I’ll pick him up at some point too.” Thompson laughed at Aaron’s stricken face. “You were right. You have no choice. You’re screwed either way.” He laughed at his own joke and took another step towards Aaron. 

His sick words were whirling through Aaron’s head. He knew none of what he said was going to happen, but just imagining what might have occurred, knowing how much twisted pleasure this man seemed to be getting from the idea of ruining two people’s lives was truly disturbing. His heart was still pounding in his chest and then it felt like it nearly jumped into his mouth as the door was flung open and Robert marched into the room, fury written all over his face and his body practically vibrating with it. 

“You stay the hell away from him!” he snapped furiously as he jabbed his finger at Thompson and came to a stop slightly in front of Aaron but to his side. 

Thompson’s eyes widened in shock but he recovered quickly. “Good to see you, Sugden. Just having a joke with your boyfriend.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Robert ground out. Aaron had never heard him sound so enraged. “I know what you’ve been up to, you sick bastard. Aaron told me everything. I know that you threatened him and I know that you tried to force him to sleep with you. You’re fucking sick.”

Thompson’s face changed instantly. The smarmy, businessman smile dropped and he looked between them in disdain. 

“I’m not the one shacked up with a rent-boy,” he said nastily. 

Aaron watched as Robert’s whole body tensed at the words. He looked like he was about to explode. 

“Don’t you call him that. You know nothing about us, you bastard.”

Thompson smirked at Robert. “You’ve gone soft,” he said and he shook his head as though he pitied Robert. “You know he’s just paid to make you feel good, don’t you? I mean, he’s an expert at it.” His eyes moved to Aaron. “You were always such a ‘good boy’ for me. I thought I was your favourite client,” he said as he frowned at Aaron as though he were hurt somehow. 

Aaron shook his head in disbelief and anger but from his position he watched as Robert flinched at the words.

Then Robert pulled himself up again and the glare was back on his face. Aaron knew him well enough to know he was putting on a brave front, forcing himself to deal with this nightmare situation for both of their sakes. 

“I’d stop talking if I were you,” Robert told him. “The contract between us is off.”

That caused a reaction from Thompson and Aaron almost wanted to smile at the way his nostrils flared and he scowled in anger. 

“You can’t afford to lose this deal, Sugden. You can’t afford to piss me off. Like I told him,” he pointed at Aaron,” I’ll ruin you. I’ll tell everyone where you met him. You’ll be a laughing stock - no-one will take you seriously, no-one will want to work with you.”

“I don’t give a shit about the deal,” Robert replied. “I’d never do business with a low-life scumbag like you. And you can make all the threats you want - I don’t care. You seem to think I’d be embarrassed by people knowing about Aaron’s past, but I’m not and I wouldn’t care if everyone knew. I love him and I’m not ashamed of him or his history.”

Aaron didn’t know if that was really true - he hoped it was with every fibre of his being - or if they were just words to prove a point to Thompson, but they warmed him all the way through anyway. He felt such a swell of love for Robert in that moment, but Robert wasn’t finished. 

“And you can tell whoever you want because the moment you do, I’ll be telling everyone what you’ve been up to. I’ll tell them all about how you blackmailed my boyfriend and tried to coerce him into sex.” Robert walked to his desk and picked up his mobile phone. He held it up in front of Thompson and Aaron couldn’t help but smile when he saw the moment that he realised it was recording. “And I have proof from your own mouth,” Robert told him with a smug smile.

Thompson’s face flushed and he dragged in a shuddering breath. 

“I thought you were smarter than this,” he ground out angrily. “Are you really going to throw away a multimillion pound contract for him?” The desperation he now felt was obvious. He was going to say whatever he could to get Robert back on side but Aaron knew they’d won. 

“You know, he’ll only hang around for so long. He’ll soon lose interest when you’re bankrupt because you keep making stupid business decisions, like this one. He won’t want you when you aren’t splashing the cash and keeping him in the lap of luxury,” Thompson said, his words tumbling out of his mouth in his panic. 

Robert shook his head. “I suggest you leave now,” he said. “I don’t want to hear from you again and if you even think of coming after Aaron, it’ll be _me_ that ruins _you_.”

Thompson practically snarled at him. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he shouted at Robert. “You’re going to be sorry when that _whore_ costs you your business,” he said as he jabbed his finger at Aaron in rage. 

Aaron didn’t move fast enough but he knew what was going to happen. Robert crossed the office in two long strides, pulled his arm back and then slammed his fist into Thomson’s face. There was a crack and Thomson staggered backwards clutching his nose. Robert shook his hand, but he still looked furious and like he might go in for a second punch, before Aaron grabbed him by the arms and pulled him back. 

“Rob, no!” he told him desperately. “Don’t! Leave it - he’s not worth it.”

Thompson glared at Robert through watery eyes, his hands still holding his face as blood poured between his fingers. 

“I’ll do you for assault!” he shrieked.

“I’d rather that than sexual harassment,” Robert replied angrily. “Now get out of my office.”

Thompson hesitated for a moment like he might say something else and then turned to leave. 

“If you so much as breathe wrong,” Robert called after him, “I’ll tell everyone what’s been going on.”

Thompson gave them one last icy look before he grabbed the door and yanked it open. 

They could hear Priya gasping in shock and asking what had happened so Robert went to the door. He didn’t speak, just shook his head at her and then closed the door with a soft click. When he leant back against it, eyes closed, and blew out a shuddery breath, Aaron’s heart ached. He watched and waited as Robert slowly opened his eyes and looked across the office at him. He didn’t know whether to go to him or not. There felt like there was a distance between them that hadn’t been magically fixed by dealing with Thompson. 

“Come here,” Robert said as he pushed himself away from the door. 

Aaron went willingly and collapsed against Robert’s chest, feeling his arms coming up to wrap around him tightly. 

“Thank you,” he whispered against Robert’s neck. 

Robert ran his hand up and down Aaron’s back. “You don’t need to thank me,” he replied quietly. 

They stayed that way for a while and then Aaron pushed himself back. He blinked up at Robert and tried for a smile. Robert looked exhausted: he knew he felt the same. 

“Let’s have a look at your hand,” he said quietly. 

Robert lifted his hand and Aaron arched an eyebrow at the already swelling knuckles. He gently smoothed his thumb over them. “That was quite a punch,” he remarked. 

“He deserved it,” Robert replied simply. 

Aaron nodded once. “Let’s go home,” he said, but it almost sounded like a question. For some reason, he was scared that Robert wouldn’t want to go with him. 

“Okay,” Robert agreed quietly. 

They grabbed their things and quietly made their way out of the office. 

Priya had looked incredibly flustered on the front desk and Aaron didn’t miss Robert’s employees gathered around in various parts or the offices, huddled together clearly gossiping about why their latest client had left their boss’ office with a broken nose. He couldn’t even begin to think about how Robert was going to deal with all of this mess: a mess that he still felt that he was responsible for. He just hoped that it was finally over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not finished with them yet...


	7. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, and you thought things were all sorted after they’d dealt with Thompson. Pah! Read on for delicious angst (which hurt me a lot to write).

It had been over a week since Aaron and Robert had confronted Richard Thompson at Robert’s office and things hadn’t really felt right since. Aaron had hoped, maybe naively, that once they’d dealt with him and forced him to back off, everything would go back to normal, but his hope was being eroded with each day that their relationship seemed strained in a way that it never had before. Even when Aaron had been carrying his secret about Thompson’s harassment, he’d still felt the warmth and love he always had from Robert. But now, it seemed like there was a distance between them that they didn’t know how to bridge. And it was exactly what Aaron had feared all along. He’d always been afraid that his past would ruin their future - Thompson’s reappearance in his life and his taunts about Aaron’s history had played on that fear perfectly - and now he was beginning to feel that maybe he’d been right all along. Maybe they couldn’t get over this. Maybe Robert couldn’t get over it.

Robert had been working late again. He’d started doing it more frequently before he’d caught Aaron in the middle of packing his belongs in an attempt to flee the situation and Aaron had finally confided the truth about what was going on, and it seemed like his default defence mechanism when things got tough: he threw himself into his work and effectively buried his head in the sand. His work didn’t involve dealing with his emotions after all. And since they’d dealt with Thompson, Robert had been spending a lot of time at the office. More so than ever: leaving earlier in the morning and coming home later at night. He claimed he was even more busy now that he had to deal with the aftermath of cancelling the contract with Thompson’s firm, but Aaron knew that he could get his employees to handle everything if he really wanted to. It was obvious to Aaron that Robert was using it as an excuse to avoid dealing with their problems. 

When things had been going so perfectly between them, and they’d been floating along in a wonderful, loved-up bubble, Robert had been more than willing to drop everything to get home to Aaron early, or go into the office later if he wanted to savour one of Aaron’s mornings off. And Aaron had got used to that. He loved those moments because it meant that Robert wanted to spend time with him above anything else. Staying late at work, burying himself in paperwork, wasn’t who Robert was anymore and it just hurt Aaron all the more to see what he’d reverted to and to know that he was responsible. 

They hadn’t really talked about what had happened. 

When they’d got back to the apartment after they’d confronted Thompson, they’d both been quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Robert had asked Aaron if he was alright - he’d checked again and again that evening as he’d watched Aaron closely with concerned eyes. 

Aaron had been just as worried about Robert. He’d wondered what was going through his mind and how he really felt about it all, but he’d been too afraid to ask. 

They’d quietly gone to bed together and, when they’d slipped under the covers, Robert had held out his arm for Aaron to snuggle in close against his side and rest his head on his chest and Aaron had sighed in contentment at the feeling of safety as Robert had curled his arm around his back and held him close. Robert had whispered “I love you” into the darkness and Aaron had replied with the same. 

When he’d woken up the next morning, after an unsettled night, he was alone in their bed. Robert had already been up and dressed and practically heading out of the door before Aaron had had chance to talk to him properly, and things hadn’t improved since then. 

Aaron didn’t know how to approach the subject - he was scared: too afraid to know what Robert was thinking and too worried that if he opened that box, they’d never be able to control what came out. 

But he wanted to know: he needed to. He needed to know what was going on in Robert’s head and he needed to know if Robert could ever move on from what had happened. 

The only good thing was that they hadn’t heard anything from Thompson since they’d seen him that day in Robert’s office. Whatever hole he had crawled into to lick his wounds, it seemed he was planning to stay there and not cause them any further direct trouble. The problem was that, even without his physical interference in their lives, he was still ruining everything. The hurt he’d dragged up between them wasn’t going to disappear as easily as he had himself, and now Aaron and Robert were stuck with the mess he’d left them in.

It was like they were frozen in that moment. They couldn’t turn back time and make it so that Thompson had never reared his ugly head. They couldn’t move beyond it, not while they weren’t even properly communicating. They were stuck and Aaron didn’t know how to get them moving without potentially causing more suffering to them both because he was sure they’d both struggle with talking about all the painful things Thompson’s cruel words had awoken inside them. 

But he’d made up his mind. They had to talk about it - properly. 

He’d woken up the previous night to find the sheets beside him cold. Robert had gone to bed with him; they’d lain in silence as they’d both pretended to fall asleep quickly like they had for the last few nights. But when Aaron woke up he was alone. And it had worried him that Robert was up and out of bed in the middle of the night. 

He had stumbled out of bed and wandered out of the room. He’d stopped in his tracks just before he’d reached the living room when he’d heard the sounds of voices and then felt his heart sink as he realised what it was he was listening to. The recorded angry voices of Robert and Richard Thompson filled the quiet of the night and Aaron peered around the wall to see Robert sitting on the sofa, wearing nothing but his boxers, and clutching his phone tightly in his hand. He was staring down at it, completely oblivious to Aaron’s presence as he listened to Thompson’s poisonous words shouted at him through the speaker and his own furious responses. When the recording came to an end with Robert finally telling Thompson to get out, Robert continued to glare at the phone for a long moment before he threw it onto the coffee table in front of him and buried his head in his hands. 

Aaron had leaned back against the wall and blown out a long sigh. This couldn’t go on, he’d decided in that moment. After work the next day, he was going to make sure they talked it out. 

***

“Hey,” Aaron said as he looked up at Robert hopefully - hopeful that they might actually be able to sort this out tonight. 

“Hi,” Robert replied quietly as he put his laptop bag down. “I, uh, I thought you were at college tonight.”

That stung a little: was Robert implying that he’d hoped to find the apartment empty because Aaron was out? Was that why he’d waited so long before coming home? Aaron shook his head and tried to keep his voice steady - it wouldn’t do to start this conversation by already feeling hurt or angry. 

“I’m giving it a miss,” he replied. “I thought...I wanted to stay here...so we could talk.”

Robert looked at him for a long moment before he dragged his eyes away and headed towards the kitchen. 

Immediately, Aaron followed him. He’d left it long enough; they couldn’t go on like this. They needed to talk about what had happened. He sighed as he watched Robert pour himself a large whiskey and take a sip from it. 

“We need to talk,” he insisted when Robert gave no sign of starting a conversation.

“About what?” Robert replied. 

Aaron shook his head. “Don’t be like this. You know what. We haven’t talked about what happened with Thompson since your office - we’ve hardly spoken at all.”

Robert shrugged and took another swig from his glass. “What is there to say? It’s over. We won’t be hearing from him again.”

“But it’s clearly not over, is it? It’s not just about him being out of our faces, is it? He might be gone, but we’re still left picking up the pieces. And I’m sorry. I know you’re angry with me about what happened with him. I know it’s all my fault that my past has come back to cause trouble for us. I never wanted that to happen.”

Robert shook his head quickly. “I’m not angry with you about that. Of course I don’t blame you for what he did. He was a fucking creep and he had no right to treat you like that, regardless of what you used to do for money.”

The words settled something inside Aaron - he couldn’t bear the idea of his past destroying his happiness with Robert or Robert being disgusted by him in some way - but he knew they hadn’t solved anything. He knew there was something else driving a wedge between them.

“But you are upset with me,” he said quietly. “Maybe not about that, but there’s something wrong. You’ve hardly touched me since - you’ll hardly even look at me. And you won’t talk to me.”

Robert blew out a frustrated breath and then swallowed another mouthful of whiskey. He shook his head and turned around to walk across the kitchen. 

“Please, Robert,” Aaron begged as he swivelled in place to follow his movement. He could feel the tears burning in his eyes as he began to panic that this truly was Robert slipping away from him. “Please...talk to me.”

Robert spun around to face him and his expression was unreadable to Aaron. He loved Robert so much, had come to know so much about him and learnt how to read him so well, but in that moment, he felt like Robert was a stranger. He looked pained and angry and despairing and confused all in one and Aaron hated knowing he was the cause of it. 

“What do you want me to say, Aaron?” Robert asked. 

There was an edge of anger in his tone, but Aaron knew that - however hard this was, however much pain it might bring - they had to do this. They had to have this conversation once and for all. 

“Just talk to me,” he pleaded. He took a step towards Robert and Robert shook his head, taking a tiny step backwards. It hurt Aaron to see him react like that and it made him freeze on the spot. 

“What do you want me to say?” Robert repeated. “That instead of talking to me, instead of sharing your problems, letting me help you, you decided that running away... “ He broke off and swallowed thickly before he could continue. When he did, his voice was rough. “That _leaving_ me would be better?”

Aaron’s eyes burned but he blinked the tears back. “It wasn’t...it wasn’t like that. I didn’t know what to do,” he said quietly. 

“But you did, didn’t you?” Robert continued bitterly. “You made your decision. You decided that leaving me was what you needed to do. That leaving me would be the _easy_ option.”

Immediately, Aaron shook his head. A few tears finally dribbled down his cheeks and he wiped them away quickly. “How can you think that? It wasn’t easy. It was the hardest thing I’d ever even considered doing.”

Robert blew out a harsh breath. He turned away to leave the kitchen, but as he went, he mumbled, “It didn’t look like you were finding it that hard from where I was standing.”

Annoyance flared through Aaron. How dare Robert accuse him of that? He had no idea what it had been like. He had no idea how much he’d tortured himself over what to do. He rushed after Robert, who had made his way into the living room. 

“That’s not fair,” he said angrily as Robert looked at him. “You don’t understand what it was like.”

“No,” Robert snapped. “I don’t. Because you didn’t talk to me. And what’s not fair is you making me think you actually loved me.”

His words stole the breath out of Aaron and his eyes widened in shock. He felt like he’d been slapped in the face. How could Robert say that? How could he even think it? 

Before he could argue, Robert continued.

“You let me believe that you wanted to be with me. You let me believe that you wanted to stay with me. And all along, you could just walk out as soon as things got tough. You didn’t try to fight; you didn’t come to me. You don’t trust me,” Robert told him. 

“Robert...” Aaron gasped. He felt like his heart was cracking in two. There was no stopping the tears that rolled down his face. 

For a moment, Robert looked like he might break down in tears himself. He looked like he might just collapse in a heap on the floor and sob, but he seemed to bolster himself somehow. “You planned it all,” he ploughed on. “And that really hurts. You knew...you knew that night when you came back and we had sex. You knew that you were leaving in the morning - that’s why you were so upset. And you let me walk out in the morning like nothing was wrong. I tried to get you to open up: I tried to be there for you, to get you to talk, but you wouldn’t. You didn’t let me help. You didn’t tell me what was going on. You made all the decisions about our future on your own and you thought I’d be okay with it. You thought I could handle coming home to find you gone and you thought that was for the best!” Robert shouted desperately. 

There were tears in his eyes now and Aaron didn’t know what was worse: this painful explosion of emotion, or both of them dancing around the issue and not communicating. 

“I didn’t know what to do for the best!” Aaron yelled back. “It was an impossible situation. I was trapped and I was scared and, yes, I made the wrong choice, but I was trying to protect you. If you think it was easy for me, you don’t know me at all.”

Robert shook his head. “That’s funny because I’m pretty sure it’s you who doesn’t know me.” He looked at Aaron sadly. “You still think I’d care about the bloody deal.”

Letting out a sob, Aaron sank down onto the sofa. “I’m sorry,” he cried. “I’ve made a mess of everything, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I was doing it for you. You’d already lost the deal with the Whites because of me. How could I be the reason why you lost another one? How could I cost you all that money? How could I put your business in danger like that? Again? I didn’t think I had any choice.” He rubbed his hands over his face and drew in a shuddery breath. 

Robert’s face had softened as Aaron had spoken. He looked utterly devastated. 

“You really still think that’s all that matters to me, don’t you? You think all I care about is money and deals,” he said quietly. 

Aaron looked up at him with wide eyes. He shook his head: that wasn’t what he’d meant. 

“Robert, no, I...”

Suddenly, Robert downed the rest of his whiskey. He winced as he swallowed and then his face hardened again. 

“D’you know what?” he said bitterly. He held out his hand and Aaron saw that it was shaking. “I can’t...I can’t do this. I need some space so I’ll make it easy for you. _I’ll_ leave.”

Aaron gaped at him in complete shock as he slammed his empty glass down on the coffee table and stormed out of the apartment. 

It took a moment for Aaron’s brain to catch up with what had just happened. Everything had gone to shit so spectacularly quickly that he could hardly process it. He’d been desperate for them to talk, to finally explain how they felt, but this wasn’t what he’d expected. When his eyes landed on the empty glass on the table, he burst into uncontrollable tears. 

He sobbed desperately, head in his hands, wondering what the hell they were going to do, how they were going to come back from this. He couldn’t even blame Robert for being so upset - he was hurt and felt betrayed and it wasn’t even for the reasons that Aaron had feared. 

From the moment he’d first encountered Thompson, Aaron had been terrified that Robert would be angry about his past and would be ashamed of him and their relationship; he’d been convinced that Robert wouldn’t want to sacrifice his business for their relationship. But now he knew he was so wrong. Robert didn’t care about any of that. And the worst thing was, deep down, he’d known that all along. He’d known that Robert would support him, would put him first above anything else, but he’d ignored his gut feeling and what was in his heart and instead let his fear take control. And he’d hurt Robert because he hadn’t trusted him enough to share his problems with him.

Now Robert had gone off in despair, probably to drown his sorrows, and Aaron had no idea where he’d go or when he’d be back. And that thought scared him more than anything. Rationally, he knew that Robert would come back, but not knowing when, or what he’d say or do when he got home, was truly awful. 

And then Aaron realised that Robert had been drinking before he’d gone. He’d necked his whiskey - a pretty large glass - quickly and he’d stormed out. The fear that he might have driven after he’d been drinking gripped him and he scrubbed at his eyes roughly as he pushed himself up and ran for the door. 

He hurriedly made his way down to the parking garage and felt his heart rate pick up as he realised that Robert’s Audi was missing. 

What if he got into an accident because he was upset and he’d been drinking and he wasn’t focused on the road? 

He rushed back upstairs and grabbed his phone from the coffee table. It was wishful thinking but he found himself begging whoever was listening that Robert would answer his call. Of course, he didn’t; Robert’s formal voicemail message cut in and Aaron tried to calm his racing thoughts. 

He chewed on his thumbnail and stared around the empty apartment through sore, watery eyes. 

He’d give anything to make this right. He couldn’t lose Robert. 

It had only been a short time since Robert had walked out, but Aaron just wanted him to come home. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a lil note, I don’t think either of them are in the right or wrong over this obviously. They are both hurt and feeling like they’re not good enough for the other based on what’s happened. What they need is to actually share their feelings properly without being so wound up and emotionally comprised, but everything is very raw at the moment so that’s not easy - Robert’s lashing out (in typical Robert style) and Aaron is internalising everything and blaming himself (again, typically). Hopefully more soon...


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re suddenly heading towards the end of this fic - one more chapter to go after this one. Have a nice long chapter to start pulling everything together (but will they still be ‘together’ by the end of it?! Muahaha*chokes* - I like to pretend I’m evil.)

Robert had driven around aimlessly for quite a while. When he’d stormed out of the apartment, he hadn’t known what he planned to do. 

He hated when he and Aaron argued and it wasn’t the first time one of them had walked out to get some space. As he’d driven around, revving the engine far more than necessary and yelling at other drivers who so much as touched the brakes too early at the traffic lights, he thought back to another time when it had been him who had stormed out. 

They’d argued about Aaron’s father and Robert had walked out - unable to deal with the argument anymore and convinced, as always, that he was right. He’d rushed back home after about an hour that night, terrified that Aaron would be gone, that he’d have packed up and disappeared into the night. The fear of that happening again seemed to have lingered with him ever since the end of their first week together, when Robert had been blind to how hurt Aaron had been and how much they’d both fallen hard and fast, and he’d returned from work to find Aaron gone and the terrible possibility of never seeing him again confronting him as he walked around his empty apartment. 

When he’d raced back home and found Aaron (thankfully) still there, they’d talked it through and, when Robert had confessed his fears about finding him gone, Aaron had promised that he’d never do that; he’d never walk out and leave Robert like that. Robert had scoffed at the memory as it flashed into his head. 

“So much for that. What were you going to do? Leave me. As soon as things got difficult you were packing your stuff to just go,” he’d growled as though Aaron were sitting beside him in the car. 

He’d known angrily weaving his way through the city in a flashy car wasn’t going to get him anywhere, except probably pulled over by the police, so he’d eventually headed for a hotel he’d been invited to for meetings in the past, where he knew there was a decent bar and the clientele wouldn’t be too rowdy so he could drown his sorrows in peace. 

Part of him had wanted to go home. Despite how he’d slammed out of the apartment in a rage, it wasn’t actually anger that was his primary emotion. Mostly, he felt lost. Like he didn’t know what he’d done wrong or how to fix it or whether or not he’d lost Aaron in all of this mess. So part of him wanted to go home so they could sit down and talk it through properly. 

But another part of him - the angry, hurt part - wanted to stay away. He wanted to lick his wounds in private. And he wanted Aaron to know how it felt: how it felt to have the person you loved - and that supposedly loved you back - just walk out like it didn’t matter. He knew it was mean and petty but he told himself he didn’t care. He didn’t want to run back to Aaron after an hour and beg him to stay. Because, he thought to himself, maybe Aaron doesn’t want that anyway. Maybe this is his chance to get out, to leave me. Maybe this is exactly how it was supposed to go. 

He stopped himself from going down that route before it ended in tears - literally. He could feel them burning in his eyes as he actually imagined Aaron walking away from him for the last time. So he wouldn’t imagine it - it hurt too much. He just needed some time to think and some space, and maybe Aaron needed that too. And the angry part of him - the part that liked to lash out that had taken control when he was at home - thought ‘and maybe it’ll show him what it’s like too’. 

He’d placed his phone on the bar when he’d arrived and sat down. He knew Aaron had called him: once mere minutes after he’d torn out of the parking garage, and again since then, but he’d ignored the calls. He didn’t want to talk - not yet, anyway. It all felt too raw. 

An empty whiskey tumbler sat in front of him and he ordered a pint of lager when the bartender caught his eye. He was already feeling the effects - the large whiskey he’d downed far too quickly at home and the second and third one he’d thrown back almost as soon as he’d arrived were certainly working on him, so - rather rationally, he congratulated himself - he decided to have a pint instead of another whiskey which might send him over the edge far too quickly, especially if he kept up the same pace. He didn’t want to end up a blubbering mess and then, god forbid, some kind soul asked him who they should call and, of course, he’d say Aaron and then he’d make a complete fool of himself. He stopped himself again - his mind was running away with him. It was a sign that he was spiralling and he needed to get it together, but that seemed like an almost impossible task in his current mood. He needed to get his thoughts under control.

Glancing around the bar, he was pleased to find it wasn’t overly busy: enough people that he didn’t stand out as a complete sad-case sitting drinking by himself, but not so crowded that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate and try to get his thoughts together. Although, he supposed, sitting drinking wasn’t all that conducive to having sensible thoughts and coming up with solutions to problems. 

As he stared into his pint, he wondered when he’d fallen apart so spectacularly. He’d been holding everything together since he’d found out about what Thompson had been doing to Aaron and he’d managed to maintain that level of (mostly) calm, rational thinking when they’d carried out their plan to catch Thompson with his own games so they had the evidence they needed to ensure he backed off for good. 

When they’d got back to the apartment that evening, he’d been so worried about Aaron: worried about how the whole thing would effect him. Aaron had been through a lot in his life: sexually abused by his own father and forced into a life working on the streets when he’d seen no other way to survive. He’d always said he wasn’t ashamed of how he’d had to make his money, wasn’t ashamed of the fact that he’d been a sex worker, and Robert wasn’t ashamed of that either. He’d always tried to reassure Aaron that his past didn’t matter to him because it was exactly that - the past. People had to do what they had to do to survive in this world and he’d never hold that against Aaron. 

But as he’d pulled Aaron against him that night, holding him close for fear that he’d slip away if he didn’t, he’d started to wonder if maybe Aaron actually was ashamed of who he used to be, maybe he was still traumatised by what he’d been through, and maybe that was why he’d been so scared of Robert’s reaction to finding out the truth about Thompson. 

And what did that say about Robert that Aaron didn’t feel safe enough with him that he could confide in him? What did that say about their relationship? 

He’d lain awake for a long time, alternating between staring up at the ceiling with gritty eyes and watching Aaron as his face scrunched and he twitched as he slept fitfully. He’d lain awake and he’d thought about everything that had happened over the last week. 

He’d been floored by coming home to find Aaron packing in preparation to leave. It had been like a punch to the gut, sucking the air from him and leaving him reeling, but when they’d managed to actually talk about what was going on and Aaron had revealed the whole sorry story, he’d just been upset on his behalf and furious at Thompson and shocked that something like that could have been happening right under his nose, and hurt. He had been hurt that Aaron hadn’t told him straight away, that Aaron had lied to him, that Aaron had thought it was a better option to pack up and run away than be honest with him. 

He’d managed to push that to one side while they’d dealt with Thompson and while he’d been constantly checking on Aaron to make sure he was alright. 

But when they’d finished with Thompson and told him where to go, and they’d got home and everything had slowed down in Robert’s head, his mind had got stuck on that one emotion that seemed to have been clawing at him from the inside since he’d found out the truth: the hurt.

And he hated himself all the more for even thinking about it and letting it fester. He knew how selfish it was to be sulking and lashing out at Aaron when it was Aaron who’d been put through hell by the whole experience. But wasn’t that just Robert all over? Wasn’t he the selfish bastard who only cared about himself? And about money? Wasn’t that why Aaron had kept it from him in the first place? 

He felt an almost hysterical feeling bubbling up inside him. He’d felt it before when he’d woken up the morning after the meeting with Thompson at his office and he’d jumped out of bed as quickly as he could without disturbing Aaron and rushed to the en-suite, shutting the door behind him and trying to calm his gasping breaths. When he’d walked back out of the bathroom, Aaron had still been asleep and Robert had just looked at him sadly for a long moment. His heart had hurt for Aaron, for what he’d suffered and the way he’d felt he had to deal with it all by himself. And then that had been joined by self-loathing as he’d thought about why Aaron had been alone. It was his fault: he hadn’t been there for him. No matter how much he thought he’d changed for the better, he obviously hadn’t. Because Aaron - the person who was supposed to know him the best, the person who mattered most in the world to him - obviously couldn’t see that. Aaron still didn’t believe that Robert would put him first over everything else. Silently, he’d walked out of their bedroom and decided to get ready for the day. How could he get back into bed with Aaron knowing how he’d let him down? 

He took a large gulp from his pint and then blew out a long breath as the same feeling assaulted him with the memory. The knowledge that he wasn’t good enough and that Aaron was going to realise that, if he hadn’t already, was almost too much to bear. 

Forcing himself to stop thinking such things, to stop his one-man pity party, he took another long drink from his glass. He got the feeling he was going to have a hangover in the morning and he wondered whether he should just message Leyla now to pre-warn her that he wouldn’t be in the office tomorrow. 

His team had been brilliant when it came to dismantling the Thompson deal. All they knew was that Thompson had tried it on with Aaron, in a rather vulgar and forceful manner, and that Robert was livid about it. They’d leapt into action the next morning, as soon as Robert had explained what had happened, and quickly gone about the process of ending any and all deals and communication with the man and his company. 

Robert’s team liked Aaron, for all he was sometimes quiet and could come across as rather surly with them at times, and they’d been appalled on his behalf that something like that had happened, so they’d been more than willing to jump to it when Robert had angrily announced that he wanted the contracts torn up and to never see or hear the name Richard Thompson used in his offices again. 

Leyla had seemed particularly concerned about the whole thing and had popped her head in on Robert as he sat in his office more than once since he’d made the announcement that the deal was off. She’d noticed that he was staying later at the offices again and had gently encouraged him to go home on more than one occasion. 

As he stared into his rapidly disappearing pint, he wondered if he’d gone soft. Maybe that was why Leyla felt like she could ‘look after’ him like she was: she’d never bothered to check he was alright or worried that he was working too much before. Then he wondered if that was the effect that Aaron had had on him. Aaron had softened him round the edges, made him more likeable, more approachable, more human. Aaron had given him something else to care about. Then, he bitterly wondered if that was the problem. Maybe he’d lost his edge and that was why he kept fucking up on deals, losing millions in the process. Maybe he was going to run his business into the ground because he cared too much these days. Angrily, he grabbed the glass and took another large swallow of his lager. Everything was going to shit. Maybe that was what you got for caring, he thought to himself rather nastily. 

Catching the bar-tender’s eye, he ordered himself another whiskey. He knew it was probably a recipe for disaster but he didn’t think he cared anymore. Maybe he needed to just let go, stop worrying, stop caring when it clearly made no difference. 

“Looks like you’ve had a rough day,” a smooth voice said from beside him as he finished the dregs of his pint. 

He glanced to his left and blinked at the attractive blonde woman who had perched herself on the stool one away from him. She was smiling at him and he thought she fluttered her eyelashes, but he wasn’t sure if he was just seeing double. 

“Rough week,” he replied bluntly as he dropped his empty glass down onto the bar a little more forcefully than he’d planned to. 

Had it really been just over a week since they’d confronted Thomson? He could hardly believe so much had happened in that space of time. From the moment that Aaron had finally confided the truth in him until they’d secured the evidence they needed to ensure that Thompson left them alone for good, Robert had been motivated by his need to fix the situation. But after that, when his sense of purpose and the need to protect Aaron from that monster had gone, his mind had had nothing else to focus on. Instead he’d found himself dwelling on everything that Thompson had said and everything that had happened that seemed to play on his insecurities: Aaron hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him the truth; Aaron didn’t think he’d help because he was still a money-grabbing bastard and that was all he’d ever see him as; Aaron wouldn’t want to stay with him when things got rough. Rationally, he knew that so many of those things weren’t right - or at least they weren’t as black and white as his mind was making them out to be - but his own self-doubt was making him question everything he thought he knew and everything he’d come to love in the last year. 

“Sounds like you deserve a blow-out then,” the woman told him. She was still smiling and she arched one perfect eyebrow at him. 

Robert huffed out a dry laugh and stared into his whiskey. 

“And you?” he asked. He was sure he used to be better at this talking to people thing. He’d always been able to charm people but it seemed he’d lost his edge with that too. 

The woman laughed lightly. “What? Do I deserve a blow-out or have I had a rough week?”

“Either.” Robert shrugged. He wasn’t really all that bothered. 

“Well, probably no on both counts,” she replied. “But I’m travelling for work and it gets pretty lonely in hotel rooms on your own, so I thought I’d come down here to see if there was anyone interesting around.” She leant a little closer and Robert could smell her perfume. She was still smiling at him coyly. 

Taking a sip from his whiskey, Robert frowned down at it. “Don’t think I can be classed as interesting, I’m afraid. Just another loser in a bar feeling sorry for himself.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re not a loser,” she told him immediately. “Losers aren’t allowed at this hotel. And you don’t look like one anyway. So, let me guess,” she paused for just long enough to make Robert look up at her in confusion wondering what she was doing. He watched as she narrowed her eyes at him as though she were trying to figure something out. Then she smiled knowingly. “I’ve got it - trouble at home.”

It was Robert’s turn to lift his eyebrow and he tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment of what she’d said. 

“Well, you’re pretty good at that,” he told her as he raised his glass to her before taking another drink. 

Without even noticing her doing it, Robert realised she’d shuffled closer somehow. 

She shook her head and gave him a sad little smile as if she felt his pain. 

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m an excellent listener,” she told him.

Robert shook his head. He just wanted to be on his own so he could drink his whiskey and be miserable in peace. “Thanks, but I, uh, I’m not in a very chatty mood.”

She reached out and laid her hand on his arm. “Talking’s often over-rated anyway, don’t you think?” she said.

Suddenly, Robert realised that this woman was flirting with him, was probably trying to get him into bed. Had it really been so long that he’d paid any attention to anyone else flirting with him that he’d forgotten what it looked like? Had he been so wrapped up in Aaron that he hadn’t even noticed anyone else in the room since he’d met him? He blinked at her in surprise and watched as her lips curled into a sultry smile. And not so long ago, Robert would have taken her up on the offer. She was extremely attractive; they could have a one-off night of no-strings fun and he’d never see her again. Not so long ago that was all he thought he needed. But things were different now; he was different. 

“Whatever has happened between you this week, maybe it’s a sign,” she continued. “Sometimes you have to accept when it’s not meant to be. I mean, you’re here, all alone, drinking in a bar to forget about it. Has she even tried to call you to sort it out? Not while I’ve been sitting with you. Maybe she’s not the one.”

Robert frowned at her again. He hated when people made assumptions: hated that she assumed he was straight; hated that Thompson assumed that he’d be ashamed of Aaron’s past; hated that Aaron had assumed that he’d be more worried about his business than the man he loved. 

He was so pissed off. 

“Actually, it’s a he,” he said bluntly and watched as her face fell abruptly. He almost wanted to have a go at her about how she’d automatically assumed that that meant he was gay, but he didn’t: mostly because he wanted her to leave him alone, but partly because he knew it wasn’t really her that he was angry with. It was himself. 

Gracefully, she stood up from her stool, the smile now gone from her face, and she walked away without another word. 

“Rude,” he muttered under his breath as he turned back to his whiskey. And then, just as he was about to take another drink from his glass, he realised what she’d actually said: ‘maybe she’s not the one’. He froze in his seat. He lowered the glass back down onto the bar. 

Aaron was the one. Of course, he was. 

He stood up from his stool far too quickly and felt the room sway around him. He had to get home. He had to get to Aaron. Because Aaron was everything. And hadn’t he nearly lost him before? How could he have been so stupid? He couldn’t handle the idea of losing Aaron, but instead of staying at home and talking to him and sharing all the doubts and fears that were in his head like he should have done, he’d stormed out in a temper and left Aaron all alone. He cursed himself for being such an idiot and only hoped that Aaron could forgive him. 

A sudden fear flooded him: what if he was too late? What if Aaron was gone? 

Panic took over and he rooted around in his pocket, threw far too much money onto the bar for his drinks, then grabbed his jacket and his phone and ran out of the hotel. 

He made it onto the car park and fished his car keys out of his jacket. Sliding into the driver’s seat, he went to plug his phone into the car with uncoordinated hands and saw Aaron’s face as the screen illuminated. The two of them were beaming at him from the picture, arms around one another, massive smiles on their faces. It was a photo that Vic had taken of them when they’d gone to the seaside for the day with her and Adam, and it had been so perfect. Tears burned his eyes as he looked at it and he blinked them back. 

He had to get home. But he couldn’t drive - not in the state he was in. In his distress, he’d almost completely ignored the fact that he was way over the limit. He’d done a lot of stupid things already; he wasn’t about to get into an accident because he was driving whilst hammered. 

This time last year, he’d have rang Pete to come and collect him, regardless of the fact that it was getting late and his driver was off-the-clock and probably enjoying a quiet night in, or maybe he was out with his mates, or maybe he’d finally plucked up the courage to ask Leyla out on a date. Robert would’ve selfishly expected Pete to come and get him no matter what else he was doing and Pete would have dropped everything to do it. It was just something else that made Robert realise how much he’d changed. He smiled softly to himself, even though he was still panicking, because he knew who was responsible for the changes and maybe it had made him softer - maybe it had rounded the selfish, sometimes mean, sharp edges of his personality - but he couldn’t be angry about that. He was better now. 

With all the sluggishness of a drunk person, he managed to organise a taxi through the app on his phone and then he stared at the screen while he waited for the little dot on the map to get closer to his location. Every tiny fraction that it moved made him feel a little closer to Aaron. He willed it to go faster as he sat waiting. He needed to get home. 

***

When Robert burst through the front door of the apartment, Aaron sprang up from the sofa like he’d been electrocuted. 

“Where have you been?” he asked immediately. “I’ve been so worried. You went flying out of here and you’d had a drink and weren’t answering your phone and you’ve been gone for hours. Fucking hell, Robert!” he exclaimed desperately. 

Robert just stared at him for a long moment. He drank him in and felt relief like he’d never experienced before rush through him at the sight of Aaron still there, still in their home waiting for him. 

Aaron looked wrecked: his eyes were red and sore-looking, his face was blotchy like he’d been crying for a long time, and his jumper sleeves were stretched from being pulled down over his hands so many times - a sure sign of Aaron’s stress and anxiety. 

Then Robert all-but ran across the space between them and wrapped his arms around Aaron, holding him close and burying his face in Aaron’s shoulder to breathe him in. He sighed in contentment when he felt Aaron’s arms wrapped just as tightly around his own back, like he was clinging on. 

“I was so worried,” Aaron muttered after a long while of them just standing there. “You smell like a brewery,” he added. “Please tell me you didn’t drive back here.”

“No, no, I got a taxi. Aaron, I’m sorry,” Robert mumbled. “I’m so sorry.” He pulled back to look at Aaron’s face. He needed him to know how much he meant those words. “I’ve been such an arse and I’m so sorry. I...I was so scared that you’d be gone.”

Aaron sighed heavily and he looked so sad. “I think we need to talk, don’t you?” 

Robert looked at him sombrely. “Yeah,” he replied with a tiny nod, “I think we do.”

They moved to the sofa together and then sat down, not touching, but not too far apart. Robert wondered if that was significant somehow. 

He waited: he didn’t know how they were supposed to solve this problem. He just knew they needed to if they wanted to be together. 

Aaron had been watching him closely for a long moment and then he swallowed thickly before he managed to speak. 

“I wish...I wish I hadn’t tried to deal with the Thompson thing on my own,” he said quietly. He looked down at his knees. The sleeves of his jumper were pulled down over his fingers again. And Robert hated seeing him so agitated, so anxious and upset. And he hated knowing that he was at least partly responsible. 

“It was a mistake. I should have told you what was going on from the beginning and...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I kept it from you and...I shouldn’t have...” He trailed off and dragged in a shuddery breath. “I shouldn’t have tried to leave like that. It wasn’t fair on you and I promised you I wouldn’t ever do that and then I just...I went and tried to do it anyway and now I’m not surprised you’re so worried about me just disappearing again.”

Aaron’s voice was full of emotion; he sounded like he’d break down at any moment as the words tumbled out of him. Robert opened his mouth to attempt to calm him but Aaron just barrelled on, seemingly unable to stop now he’d started talking. 

“I feel like I just run away from my problems and you deserve better than that. There’s no wonder you came bursting in expecting to find me gone because I’ve let you down and made you feel like you can’t trust me. I promised you I wouldn’t leave you like that,” Aaron repeated and he looked up at Robert with such sadness and despair on his face. “I hurt you and I’m not surprised you’re angry with me,” he finished quietly. 

Robert shook his head immediately. “I’m not angry with you, Aaron. Of course I’m not. Whatever I said and however I’ve acted, it’s not because I’m angry with you. I know it must seem like that and, when I sat there stewing on everything tonight, I thought that maybe I was angry, but I’m...I’m just angry with myself. It’s me who should be apologising - I’ve been such an idiot and I haven’t been there for you when you needed me most.”

“You helped me,” Aaron interrupted, but Robert shook his head and ploughed on.

“I shouldn’t keep going on about you leaving me because it’s not fair of me to put that on you. If that’s what you want...I’d never force you to stay.”

Aaron drew in a tiny gasp like the words were physically painful and his eyes widened. “Rob, no.”

“And I wouldn’t be surprised,” Robert continued. Saying these words hurt, but he had to do it. He had to be honest with Aaron and maybe if he shared everything that had been haunting him for the last week, Aaron would at least understand why he’d been so awful. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to go,” he repeated, forcing the words out. “I’m not...you deserve better than me.”

“Don’t,” Aaron finally blurted out. “Don’t say things like that.” The tears he’d been holding onto had started to dribble down his face and he looked utterly heartbroken. “How can you think that?” he sobbed. 

Robert shook his head and pushed himself up from the sofa. He paced in front of Aaron before he stopped and looked down at him. He felt like his own heart was breaking having this conversation but they had to do it. And if Aaron realised that he wanted to go, Robert knew he had to let him regardless of how he knew it would destroy him.

“Because...as much as I can’t stand the thought of it, maybe Thompson was right about some things.”

Aaron drew in another sharp breath at the words and he looked stunned. It felt like the air had been sucked from the room. 

Robert ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I know that sounds terrible. And most of what he said was bullshit, but what if...what if you realise eventually that I’m not what you really want? What if you get bored of me? What if it’s just been a fantasy? Maybe you just got swept up in the idea that you didn’t have to work on the street anymore. I’d helped you and you felt like I was like your hero or something...”

“Do you actually believe that?” Aaron snapped. He stood up to face Robert and he looked angry and hurt and sad all at once. “Do you think I just stuck around here because it means I don’t have to live in a shitty flat anymore or go out and fuck strangers to earn a living?”

Robert blinked at Aaron in shock. Hearing it like that made it sound so awful. He was doing it again, making a mess of everything. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he muttered. 

Aaron scowled at him. “Well I don’t know what you were supposed to mean,” he retorted angrily.

“I just...” Robert sighed heavily. “I just want you to be sure. If you need some space, some time to think about everything and decide if this is what you really want...I’d never pressure you. I just want you to be happy.”

“Happy?” Aaron echoed. “I was happy before all this happened. I was happy going along in our little bubble where I naively thought I deserved something good for once. Because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You do deserve good things, Aaron,” Robert told him, and he meant it. With every fibre of his being he meant it: he wanted Aaron to have the world. But if Aaron decided that he wasn’t part of it, he’d have to learn to live with it. 

“Then why are you trying to push me away? Why are you telling me I need space to think about what I want? Why are you trying to make out like this - this amazing thing between us - has all been some sort of way to pass the time for me? I’m not great at talking about this stuff, but you have to stop thinking like that.” He paused and seemed to take a steadying breath. “I was paid to sleep with men like Thompson. It was my job. And I was paid to sleep with you at first too. But, until I met you, I had never loved anyone. I have never felt like this about anyone before so don’t try to push me away or tell me I need to decide what I want, because that sounds a lot like you’re trying to give me an easy escape and I don’t want it. I already know what I want: I want to be with you. I want everything with you. Even when it’s tough or we argue or things aren’t going to plan - I want all of it with you.So, please, Robert, please don’t shut me out and don’t push me away. And don’t let him win. This is exactly what I was afraid of and I can’t bear it.”

Robert’s heart swelled at the words - they meant everything to him. And he knew Aaron meant every one. But he knew things couldn’t be smoothed over as easily as that. Some things had happened between them that had the potential to wreck everything they had. And they needed to face them now or let them fester and eventually come back to destroy them later. 

He offered Aaron a tiny smile and watched as Aaron tentatively smiled back, but then he squeezed his eyes closed. 

“You hurt me,” he whispered. 

“I’m sorry,” Aaron replied immediately. He sounded desperate and scared, like Robert couldn’t get over this massive hurdle in their path. 

Opening his eyes, Robert looked at his sad face. “I don’t want to make you feel bad - I’m not trying to make you feel guilty - but I think I need to tell you. Because if I don’t...if we keep doing this thing where we don’t tell each other how we feel...it’ll break us eventually. I don’t want to get six months down the line and throw it in your face if we end up having a row about something else. Because I would: you know I would - that’s what I’m like. So you need to know. You didn’t tell me about what was going on, and I understand why. I know you were scared. But you actually believed that I would care more about a deal than you and you believed it enough that it made you think you should leave. And that hurt. More than anything else. Because it’s not true. I don’t know if you’ll ever completely believe me, but I would give everything up for you without question. And I know you’d never ask me to, but I would. All this,” he said as he waved his hands around, “it means nothing to me if you’re not here with me.”

“Robert...I...I know that. I just...I just got scared.”

“I know,” Robert said gently. “And I get that. You felt trapped and like you were all alone, and like you have to always deal with everything by yourself. But we’re a team now. You’re with me and you can rely on me.”

Aaron nodded and he still had tears in his eyes but he looked like he might actually believe what Robert was telling him. He sank down onto the sofa and looked up at Robert. 

“I know you feel hurt because you think I don’t trust you...but I do. I promise you, I do. And I know it must seem like I don’t because of what I did.” 

He blinked rapidly a few times to clear the tears from his eyes and Robert went to him. He perched on the edge of the coffee table and took Aaron’s hands in his own. Rubbing his thumbs across Aaron’s knuckles slowly, he said quietly, “Tell me.” It wasn’t a command, but a gentle request that Aaron opened up to him and trusted him. 

Aaron sniffed and nodded once. “When we first spent that week together...I told you...about Gordon. I’d never said it out loud before, never told anyone. It was like this heavy, evil thing that I kept locked inside me and I carried it everywhere. I carried it alone and I always had. And then I told you.”

Robert squeezed his hands.

“And it didn’t make it go away, but it made it a little less heavy I suppose.” He shrugged like he didn’t know if what he was saying even made sense. “And you...you’ve just supported me through everything. I’ve got all this stuff in my past, things that I’m not proud of and stuff I hate about myself, and you’ve just accepted it all and loved me anyway. And I couldn’t believe I’d got so lucky.” A wet laugh fell from his lips as he smiled a little at Robert. “But then Thompson...he made me start to think that maybe I didn’t deserve to be so happy. I didn’t deserve you. He made me feel...dirty. He reminded me of who I was and I just kept thinking that I was going to drag you down with me. And you didn’t deserve that. So it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you...it was because I was ashamed and terrified that you’d see who I really am and not want me anymore.” Aaron’s voice cracked on the last few words and he broke down in tears. 

Without hesitation, Robert wrapped his arms around him again and pulled him close. He held onto Aaron as he sobbed bitterly and his body quivered as the emotion poured out of him. 

Eventually, Robert gently took him by the upper arms and pushed him back. He looked at him steadily for a moment. “I love you,” he said firmly. “No matter what has happened in the past or what might happen in the future. You never have to hide anything from me and I would never judge you. You’re the bravest person I know, Aaron. And I’m proud of you.”

Aaron’s eyes welled up again. “Shut up,” he muttered, but a tiny smile was tugging at his lips. 

“I’ll tell you that every single day if that’s what it takes for you to believe me,” Robert added. 

Aaron sighed. “I believe you,” he replied quietly. “Or, at least, I’m going to try to. And I’m not saying I’ll be very good at it...but I’m going to try to talk to you about things.” He took a deep breath. “It’s something I need to work on because I think I’ve spent so long holding onto my past, my secrets and the pain of all of that...that I’m just so used to keeping it all locked away and...it’s not healthy. Not for me, or us.”

Robert nodded at him again. “And I promise I’ll always listen. And I’ll try to be more open too and try to go off in a strop less often.” He added with a self-deprecating smile. 

“Where did you go?” Aaron asked quietly.

Robert’s face fell. He knew he had to start their pledge of honesty right now. 

“I drove around for a while - I was angry. At myself, not you,” he added quickly. “Then I went to a hotel and went to the bar and thought I’d try to get drunk. Because obviously that solves all life’s problems.” He paused and squeezed Aaron’s hand again. “And because we’re being honest, I’m going to tell you this. There was a woman there...”

Aaron’s eyebrow lifted and there was the slightest change in his posture indicating his apprehension of what he was about to hear that had Robert quickly continuing. 

“Nothing happened obviously. She was flirting with me and, to be honest, I don’t know why she was bothering because I was being extremely pathetic staring into my whiskey. But she was flirting and all I could think about was you. She made some comment about you not being ‘the one’ and it was like this alarm went off in my head that she was so wrong. I panicked a bit because I realised that I’d stormed out and left you here and I was scared that I’d come back and you’d be gone. So I pretty much flew out of there and got back here as fast as I could.”

The story had sounded almost light-hearted but then Robert swallowed thickly as he felt some of the emotions of the evening catch up with him, the realisation that, if Aaron hadn’t stayed at the apartment, he could’ve come home to a very different situation and he’d only have himself to blame. 

“I don’t want to be without you,” he said as he gulped past the lump in his throat. “Not now I’ve realised what I have. It never mattered before...I was okay on my own. I thought I always would be and I thought I didn’t need anyone else. But now...now I have you and I can’t...I can’t imagine losing you, not having you in my life...I can’t, Aaron. I don’t want to lose you.” 

He broke then, felt himself losing control and he thought he would fall to the ground in an inconsolable heap, but he felt strong arms around him, holding him up and murmuring in his ear about how loved he was and how he wasn’t alone. 

It seemed to take a long time before either of them was willing to let go. When they parted, Robert lingered where he was, leaning forward from the coffee table and Aaron just gently rested his forehead against his. His eyes were closed and he released a soft sigh. 

“We’re a right pair, aren’t we?” he muttered. 

“Yeah,” Robert replied quietly. He lifted a hand to cup the side of Aaron’s face. “Better stick together to look after one another.”

Aaron just hummed in agreement. 

Eventually, Robert moved, his back protesting the awkward position, and he slid onto the sofa beside Aaron. He lifted his arm and Aaron pressed himself against his side. 

“We’re going to be alright, aren’t we,” Aaron said quietly. It wasn’t a question - he sounded so sure. 

Robert pulled him a little closer. “We’re going to be alright,” he echoed before he placed a kiss to the top of Aaron’s head. 


	9. 9: Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are at the end. It’s been so lovely to return to this universe and write more for Aaron and Robert’s story in this world. Thank you so much for the encouragement and feedback along the way. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this short epilogue which ties everything up for them.

Aaron stood at one of the floor to ceiling windows in the lounge. He stared out across the city that had been his home for so long and thought how beautiful it looked in the morning sunshine. The light glinted off the glass and metal of countless skyscrapers and amazing buildings, and he remembered a time when he’d never have even dreamt of setting foot inside any of them. He’d never have felt good enough. Not back then.

He sighed heavily. Everything had changed. 

He couldn’t believe he was leaving this place. He couldn’t believe he was leaving the apartment he’d called home for the final time. 

No-one was going to stop him this time. 

It was bittersweet: time to move on but it made his heart ache to know that this place, that held so many memories for him and had changed his life, wouldn’t be his home anymore. This place was where he’d fallen in love with Robert.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and he leant back against Robert’s chest. Robert kissed the side of his head and hummed lowly. 

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly. 

The removal men were still moving around the apartment loading the last few boxes and items of furniture behind them, but apparently Robert didn’t care about what they were doing. He only cared about the man in his arms. 

“Yeah,” Aaron replied equally as quietly. “Just...reminiscing, I suppose.”

“About the good times?” Robert asked. “We had a lot in this place.”

Aaron nodded and let out another soft sigh. “Yeah, we did.” He turned in Robert’s arms then and smiled up at him. “I’ll miss it.”

Returning the soft smile, Robert nodded. “Me too. I never thought I would, you know. A few years ago, it was just a space, just somewhere to go after work and somewhere filled with my stuff. But...” he trailed off and looked into Aaron’s eyes fondly. “Well, now it holds a bigger place in my heart.”

Pushing up on his toes a little, Aaron kissed him softly on the lips. God, he loved Robert so much. 

“It was the first place I really wanted to call home,” Aaron admitted quietly. “So much has happened here.”

Robert lifted his hand and smoothed it over the side of Aaron’s head tenderly. “We’ve made a lot of memories and we’ve both changed while we’ve been here. But we’ve got a whole new set of memories to make now.”

Aaron smiled at that. As much as he was sad about leaving, he was excited about moving into their new house. They’d started talking about it months ago: the possibility of moving out of the city centre and into a proper house somewhere on the outskirts of the city - somewhere close enough that they could both travel to work or their other commitments easily enough, but away from the hustle and bustle of inner city life. Somewhere they could ‘settle down’ and think about the next stage of their lives together. They’d both agreed. They’d both been excited and started house hunting together - a real adventure for them both. And they’d both signed on the dotted line for their joint mortgage when they’d found their perfect new home - a large barn conversion in a village on the edge of the city, far quieter than where they currently lived and with space for a dog or two (as Aaron kept suggesting and dropping into conversations and working on Robert to get him to agree to). And even though it was Robert who would be covering most of the mortgage, they’d both signed up for it together so they both owned the house when it was all paid off. Robert could have paid for it outright, but they’d agreed that there was something special about them making the commitment together, despite the fact that Robert had plans to pay it off far quicker than the twenty-five years they’d signed up for with the bank. 

Twenty-five years. It sounded like a lifetime. It sounded like a massive commitment. It sounded a lot like something Aaron never thought he’d have and could hardly believe he was going to get. And it made him a bit giddy every time he even thought about it. Giddy and fortunate and so, so content with his life. 

Of course, things hadn’t just become easy for them. They hadn’t recovered from the pain of everything they’d been through overnight and just slotted back into their loved-up little bubble without any issues. Both of them had needed time to heal; both of them had needed to try hard to keep their promise of talking about what was going on in their heads. 

Aaron was the first to admit that he wasn’t that great at opening up and talking about his feelings. It had been a real struggle for him at times, but being with Robert - having his support and understanding - made him want to get better at it and made him feel that, actually, telling someone what was going on in your head maybe wasn’t the end of the world after all. 

Thanks to Robert, Aaron had taken a massive step and actually decided to go to see a counsellor about the abuse he’d suffered as a child. It had taken lots of back and forth in his own head, a few false starts and last minute changes of mind, but he’d done it. 

He’d started to realise that maybe his past, what Gordon had put him through, was still impacting on his life, despite how much he’d tried to pretend it wasn’t. Realising that he still heard that voice in his head telling him that he wasn’t good enough and that he didn’t deserve to be happy, that no-one could ever love him, had made him understand how Thompson’s manipulation had managed to damage him so much and so easily. Thompson had been able to get inside his head, had played on his insecurities and had nearly destroyed him because Aaron still didn’t think he was good enough. And he had finally admitted that he needed help to deal with that. 

Robert had been so proud of him when he’d said he wanted to see a counsellor. He’d promised to support Aaron with whatever he wanted to do and he’d stuck to it. When Aaron had mentioned the possibility of speaking to the police about what had happened, it had been obvious that Robert wanted to jump up and go straight to the police station, but he’d held himself back, calmly reminded Aaron that it was his decision, and that he’d be by his side whatever happened. 

“You’re not on your own anymore - you’re with me now,” he’d told Aaron, and Aaron had never realised how, amongst everything else he felt when he was with Robert, he also felt so safe with him in his life. 

And Aaron had also decided that maybe it was time to reach out to his family. He hadn’t seen, or had any contact, with his mum since he’d run away from his dad’s house as a teenager. Not that she’d had much to do with his life before that, not after she’d left him with his father, but he’d completely lost touch with his whole family after he’d ended up on the streets. For all he knew, his mum might be dead or she might be too hard to find. Maybe she didn’t even know if Aaron was alive or dead. Maybe she’d looked for him after he’d disappeared, or maybe she didn’t care. But Aaron was ready to start facing the demons from his past and part of that was tracking down his family and finding out whether, for the first time in his life, they’d actually be there for him. 

It was a scary prospect, but one he knew he could face if Robert was there beside him. 

“Don’t get me wrong - I’m so excited for the new house. But this...” He trailed off and looked around the rapidly emptying living room. “I’m going to miss this. This is the first place I’ve ever felt truly happy. This has been my first home.” He emphasised the final word because it just meant so much to him. 

“D’you know what?” Robert replied quietly. “It’s been mine too. But that was only after you came to share it with me. I get the feeling all those sickening heart-shaped dangling things in the shops - what are they supposed to be? Shabby chic or whatever - anyway, I get the feeling maybe they’re right. ‘Home is where the heart is’ and my home is wherever you are.”

Aaron smiled and huffed out a tiny laugh. “You soft git,” he said as he shoved Robert lightly, but the tears shining in his eyes gave him away as being equally soft. 

“You know I’m going to cry when we leave, right?” he said as Robert pulled him closer again. 

“I know,” Robert replied. “But you’re not allowed to set me off.”

Aaron gave him a look as if to say he couldn’t make any promises.

A cough from across the room caught their attention and a voice called out, “Mr Sugden?”

Robert pressed a quick kiss to Aaron’s forehead before he turned round and walked across the living room to speak to one of the removal men who was standing beside a large crate. Then the man gestured towards the door and the two men disappeared through the front door of the apartment. 

Aaron watched Robert go with a soft smile on his face. He loved Robert so much. 

Turning back to the window, he looked down at the city again. Somewhere down there, a large truck was being loaded up with the last of their belongings ready to move to their new home. A thrill of excitement rushed through him at the thought. 

Another little smile tugged at his lips. Looking over his shoulder to check that Robert was nowhere around, he slipped his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out the small box he’d been carrying around for weeks. He popped the lid open and smiled down at the silver band nestled inside. He’d been saving up for months to buy the ring. It wasn’t worth thousands of pounds and diamond encrusted (not that he thought Robert would want anything too flashy anyway) but he hoped it would be more precious than anything like that. He wanted it to be a symbol of just how much he loved Robert and how committed to him he was. Because he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Robert and he just hoped Robert wanted the same thing. He was pretty sure he did. 

Aaron couldn’t wait to get settled in the new house so he could ask Robert the most important question of his life. He couldn’t wait for them to take the next step of their journey together. He couldn’t wait for their future. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm snarfettelove on tumblr if you want to say hi.


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